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[–] 115 points 7 months ago (8 children)

They call dogs mans best friend, but we ignore the humble potato. Have they been with us as long as canines? No. That's why they're putting in so much effort to fufill our every need.

One day you're going to wake up and realize you love your potatoes. That they love you. The entire time, you'll know what you need to do. It will hurt, as it always does, as you boil and mash this tuber that was once your closest companion, but in return, they will give you a full days nourishment and only ask for a little more butter this time.

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  • [–] 75 points 7 months ago (6 children)

    I love my dog, but I've never had to clean potato vomit out of a carpet at 3 am.

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  • [–] 48 points 7 months ago (4 children)

    Lemme make a pot of mashed potatoes and get extremely drunk. We can change this.

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  • [–] 25 points 7 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    Right? Just pressure-cook the potatoes in vodka before letting them completely cool and then mash them. Then it's not alcoholism, it's side-dishes.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    You're missing the forest for the trees. Vodka can be, and is, made from potatoes. What is that if not the man's closest companion?

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago

    That's why I recommend using a pressure cooker instead of boiling them in vodka. Don't let anything evaporate. Boiling potatoes in water to mash them makes watery potatoes. Pressure cooking them in vodka makes the potatoes more potato.

    ^Note: Please don't actually pressure cook things with vodka. You're just begging for the world's scariest Molotov cocktail on your kitchen counter.^

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  • [–] 64 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Nanograms / gram.

    So just eat about 1 million potatoes daily.

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  • [–] 82 points 7 months ago (6 children)

    Are we sure this isn’t because of local contamination or something like that? Are we sure this is actually naturally occurring?

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  • [–] 49 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Monsanto has entered the chat.

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  • [–] 31 points 7 months ago (7 children)

    I first believed a "potato tuber" to be something similar to a v-tuber, but it's a potato.

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago (6 children)
  • [–] 6 points 7 months ago (4 children)

    Virtual YouTuber. A digital avatar.

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  • [–] 26 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    Wait til u hear what they find in the humble poppy

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    [–] 26 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Does this mean we could genetically engineer them to produce enough for an adult dose?

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  • [–] 20 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Potatoes are also one of the few foods you can live almost entirely on. If you eat the skin. They have about everything you need, unlike all other staple foods. The problem is you need a lot of them, and they get weird if they freeze. But you could dry them.

    Peruvians used to smash them on the rocks and freeze dry them in the cold Andean air to preserve them for the winters up there above 10k feet.

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  • [–] 7 points 7 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago (1 child)

    Which movie is that? I just read about it in a news article before the news turned into shit.

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  • [–] 19 points 7 months ago

    I thought potatoes just made me feel good because they taste awesome... 🤔

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  • [–] 14 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Boil 'em . . . mash 'em . . . shove 'em up your ass . . . PO-TAY-TOES!

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    [–] 14 points 7 months ago

    Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a pharmacy.

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  • [+] 13 points 7 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 13 points 7 months ago (6 children)

    They forgot that you can make a potato into a perfectly suitable pipe for smoking weed. Also an apple.

    When you got weed and no papers, you get creative.

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  • [–] 20 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    How do you make a potato into an apple man?

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  • [–] 11 points 7 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 10 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Potato tubers, YouTubers who talk about potatoes a lot.

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago

    God I love potatoes.

    That is all

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  • [–] 7 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    I'll just mention that in Italy the word for potato is also used to refer to pussy.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago

    TIL Starch Sadness isn't just a meme.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago

    You're welcome.

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago

    boil em mash em stick em in a stew

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago

    The first color photos were composed by tri-colored sensitized potato crums/particles.

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago
    [–] 3 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    They left out paint stamps

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago

    They aren't doing their job. Guess I need to up my dose.

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  • [–] 13 points 7 months ago (10 children)

    Those aren‘t just anxiety drugs. Lorazepam is a literal Benzo. Which means it literally depresses (ie. makes less active) your CNS (brain).

    These drugs are highly addictive and tolerance forming. They‘re often prescribed for insomnia since they inhibit brain signalling.

    Once your brain forms tolerance it increases excitatory signalling to „counter“ the drug. Which means if you abruptly stop, you get withdrawal. Your brain is „overactive“ you have seizures, loads of horrible symptoms, in some cases people die.

    (Not trying to scare people, short term or sporadic use is actually decently safe, it‘s long term high dose use which is dangerous. But basically my point is „anxiety drug“ is underselling what this is.)

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    You're also overstating their dangers by providing incomplete, inaccurate information. I worked on a pharma study on long-term benzo usage, so I'm familiar. Needless, inaccurate fear mongering like this is exactly what individuals with anxiety, recalcitrant insomnia, or seizure disorders do NOT need to read when looking into treatment options.

    Benzodiazepines are an effective, appropriate treatment for a number of conditions, including treatment-resistant insomnia, anxiety and panic disorders, and epilepsy.

    Long-term use is safe if prescribed and used correctly. Taking a low to moderate dose 2-4 days weekly is unlikely to result in tolerance or addiction. Higher-dosage and/or daily treatment is also safe under the care of a knowledgeable physician. Other modalities, such as SSRIs, tricyclics, and MAOIs, are preferable first-line treatments for anxiety and panic disorders, but some individuals have symptoms recalcitrant to treatment and require adjuvant therapy. Benzodiazepines are used as rescue medications by epileptics, and some have such serious symptoms that their use is a major facet of treatment. See Lennox-Gastaut syndrome to get an idea.

    Abrupt withdrawal symptoms can be unpleasant but "seizures and loads of horrible symptoms" is more fear mongering. The most common symptoms of "quitting cold turkey" from frequent and long-term usage are minor but unpleasant: agitation, irritability, increased anxiety, increased sweating, etc. Seizures are rare and tend to be in individuals... wait for it... using these medications for acute seizure treatment. These can be easily avoided by tapering down the dosage over time.

    I don't know what your motive here was, but consider the impact before trying to give people a scare.

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  • [+] 1 point 7 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

    I'd agree if you weren't misquoting me and referring to another statement out of context.

    Do you have any specific criticism based on both what I actually wrote and actual medical science?

    Edit: I expect it's how I mentioned tricyclics as a first-line treatment. Within anti depressants, SSRIs/SNRIs > tricyclic > MAOI due to side effect profiles, but all will often (but not always) be trialed before moving to benzodiazepine monotherapy or higher dose/frequency adjuvant therapy.

    Some studies suggest TCAs are more effective than SSRIs. MAOIs are absolutely more effective than both, but their side effect profiles and restrictions due to dietary/medication interactions can be brutal.

    The greatest evidence for this cognitive damage is a self-selected Internet survey: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10309976/

    We call that "pretty low quality" data in science and public health. Unsatisfied customers are more likely to write a review. lI'm not saying it's not possible, but actual data is scant.

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago (3 children)

    Does this mean that, if I were to take a benzo right before sleep, I shouldn't dream?

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    Nah you can still dream. It just means your brain is less active than if you didn’t take the benzo. But some benzos and especially benzo-like drugs can actually give you weird hallucination-type dreams. Specifically thinking of Z-drugs.

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    [–] 4 points 7 months ago

    TIL that I'm growing Ativan in my garden this year.

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago

    I read potatoe tuber and assumed.

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago

    Good thing I made potato soup yesterday.

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  • [+] 2 points 7 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    ...won't someone think of the lowly potato cannons? amusing hicks since the invention of the pipe...

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Potatoes are proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy.

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago

    small town near here got some notoriety for a stop--sign altercation. somebody got a potato shoved up their ass. diffused a tense situation. i can see why.

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