It lets you hear a computer scream.

The most nostalgic chiptune generator you'll ever hear.

It's a telemarketing prevention device. Hook it up to your phone line, and the number of telemarketing calls would drop instantly.

A CD/Blu-ray rewinder.

Not DVDs though, they were self rewinding

A picture

Not really what you’re looking for, but it immediately made me think of an intercom device.

It's made by US Robotics, so it must be a positronic brain.

Failed download generator

GET OFF THE DAMN PHONE STACY, I WAS ALMOST DONE

This is one of the sickest synthesizers of the 1990s g-funk era. It produced the high-pitched portamento sound that provided iconic hooks for many of the tracks on Dr Dre’s 1993 album The Chronic.

Really bad white noise machine.

Early 90s COVID-19 test.

Wow! This brings back memories... It was a Soul Crusher: A primitive technology used to commune with the dead over long distances. I'll explain...

These devices used the "Afterlife Toll" (AT) command set, invented by someone named "Hayes" which I believe was just a nickname or mistranslation of Hades. With the correct invocation, you could whisper into the great beyond. Here's an example:

ATDT 6665551234

Translated: "Afterlife Toll, Death Touch ". After this invocation, the user would hear the pleasant sound of souls being crushed in order to make the afterlife connection.

Of course—due to the popularity of such devices—crushing souls over long distances could get expensive so a number of Incorporeal Service Providers (ISP) sprang up to make it cheaper and easier than ever to crush souls from anywhere.

Cool fact: This is where the term, "soul crushing machines" comes from! These days, soul crushing is fully automated and far beyond the measure of Beings Per Seance (BPS). Nearly every computer is shipped with an ethernet connection and practically everyone is walking around with devices that can commune over WIFI (Wailing Incorporeal Fidelity).

In fact, our Incorporeal Technology (IT) is so advanced, you can have a soul crushing experience from anywhere in the world at all hours of the day, every day!

Pregnancy test for a Cylon

CPAP machine

An infinite box of nude pictures.

That was the keyboard Belgian superband Technotronic used in the 1989 block buster hit Pump up the Jam.

Answering machine

White Noise Machine

It's a practical joke device. Using it pisses off your mum and makes her shout "get off that damn computer I want to call your aunt Judith"

Says so right on the box.

A U.S.-made Robot, designed to play sports.

It's a booster seat for squirrels

Binary Caller ID

That is a Speak & Spell. You cast a spell, and it speaks about the impact.

Phone call from Satan

Two robots fucking, but you can only hear them.

How I met your mother.

A magic packet pulse perpetuator and upline / downline pyramid scheme facsimile facilitator aka MPPPUDPSFF

It's a device from the 90s that played specialize erotica tapes that had an extra channel which synchronized to an electric pocket pussy (not pictured) over 3.5mm cable.

I actually owned one of those!

It's a cable-tv descrambler.

ECU chip tuner for early CAN bus vehicles.

This box from Pandora once contained all the world's doomscrolling.

A vintage Covid test

Well it says sportster on it, so whatever it is, it must go really fast!

1990's pussy magnet

It makes fart noises for radio hosts.

The first in a range of devices in Bill Gates private museum specifically designed to operate the permanently installed gonad stimulator built into his body.

The latest one is a keychain.

Venetian Snares

Pregnancy test

Single-use barbecue grill
They got way better when they figured out how to make them out of metal

It's a YakBak

dildo. I'm brave you cowards.

Portable Chat GPT

A pager

It's a sound effect generator. It only has a few different varieties of SCREEEEREEEECH and some weird telephone tones, though.

Digital harmonica. They were huge in the 80s.

A deskside air conditioner

Robotics's snooping device base.

It's cake

It's an external MIDI board. It has built in speakers, but also stereo out RCA ports in the back so you could hook it to an amp.

TechMoan covered it a couple of years ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rObG3GddYGk

That's violet08

The song of my people.

Fast

Seven letter typewriter with remote light switch. Way ahead of its time in some ways. Far behind in others.

That is a reverse-cyclonic modulation moderator designed to run your washing machine backwards so that cycle time is reduced.

Remote control for the US Robotic Soccer Sports Team.

(I used to have shelves of those wired into Portmasters when starting my ISP. After replacing the analog modems with pri digital modems we took the shelving outside and gave it the Office Space treatment.)

An old Bluetooth module.

The lights tells you if it is connected, at what mode, and if there is data going through it.

angry child simulator - 1999

Says right on it, They Robotics

Robot mobile heater

Old TV Remote

US Robotics 55,000 baud modem. Is that wrong enough?

Speaker Phone

That's a DEC-talk speech synthesizer right?

That's the internet

It's a midi keyboard for beginners

A horribly designed sex toy.

Automatic birth control pill dispenser.

a weighing scale

(some gen z actually told me this after seeing the pic.. lolz)