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[–] 215 points 3 days ago (28 children)

"But you'll ruin..."

No the fuck you won't. They ruined it with their choices and actions. He'll face consequences for what he did, not for what someone else said.

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  • [+] -20 points 3 days ago (25 children)

    And what if they didn't actually SA'd and it is a false claim?

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  • [–] 27 points 3 days ago (13 children)

    Well that'd be a different context entirely. The premise here was that they had, but it would be unfair to make them face the consequences of their actions.

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  • [+] -15 points 3 days ago (13 children)
  • [–] 16 points 3 days ago (5 children)

    Yes but that "grayscale and nuance" is also what stops people from reporting stuff that actually was SA. A fair judicial process is what solves this. Raise the claims if the are true, that is what justice is for, but know that if you raise false claims you are also entering yourself into that justice system. Malicious acts against people and groups should be punished, and victims should be able to seek help.

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  • [+] -11 points 3 days ago (4 children)

    Yeah, I'm not saying is not like that. The problem is that forgetting that actually the world is that grayscale, is a double-edged sword, as it will polarize and/or cause extremism or maximalism from one side, or another, or both.

    I totally agree that sexual abusers are scum and should be tortured until die, but what I don't see as fair is that the (even if really few) victims of FA have to pay for the crimes of other people they don't represent.

    I often feel depressed thinking about this and the fact that there's not easy way out of this septic pit, and that things seem to be worse every fucking second. I hate this world.

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  • [–] 8 points 3 days ago (3 children)

    I think the problem here is that you're addressing an entirely different question.

    The question of if someone should report someone who raped them is entirely separate from the potential chance for false allegations.

    If someone is raped, they should report it. If someone isn't raped but wants to make a false allegation, real cases of rape being reported won't change that person's decision to file a fake claim.

    The entire point here is just "if you are raped, you should report it, even if that could ruin the rapist's life in some way, because they raped you, so they deserve consequences". It doesn't make a judgement call on how we can combat false allegations.

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  • [+] 0 points 2 days ago (3 children)
  • [–] 3 points 2 days ago (2 children)

    You have got to stop projecting. There are way more rape victims that were actually raped than people out here filing false rape reports.

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  • [–] 0 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    Yeah, and that doesn't make that any fucking less important. Can you stop projecting yourself and trying to be a fucking cop?

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  • [–] 22 points 3 days ago* (3 children)

    When we talk about sexual violence, the focus too often falls on what survivors did, where they were, or whether they reported. But rape happens because someone chooses to violate another person’s consent.

    According to FBI crime data, an average of 107,418 U.S. men are the perpetrators of reported rape each year.

    Each year, an average of 5,510 female perpetrators are reported for rape, according to law enforcement reporting.

    Prevention efforts must focus on the people who cause harm, not on blaming survivors for the violence committed against them.

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  • [+] -5 points 3 days ago (3 children)
  • [–] 19 points 3 days ago* (2 children)

    It is overwhelmingly men that rape other men, women, and children.

    The more important stat that only 8% of rape and sexual assault cases see a courtroom I have stated elsewhere in this thread.

    False rates of sexual assault happen at the same rate of false reporting of any other crime, between 2-5%.

    I can pull sources for each and every one of these statistics.

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  • [+] -7 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    Actually, the most reliable source goes from 2-8%

    It's still small, but it should be zero just as any other crime. That's at least my Utopia.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 days ago (2 children)
  • [+] -1 points 2 days ago (2 children)
  • [–] 2 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    It's disgusting how you undermine rape victims at every turn.

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  • [+] -1 points 2 days ago (1 child)
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  • [–] 14 points 3 days ago (5 children)
  • [+] -3 points 3 days ago (4 children)
  • [–] 5 points 3 days ago (3 children)

    They are inextricably entwined. When people only consider a certain type of rape "real rape", it impacts which cases are investigated and prosecuted and what is considered a false claim.

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  • [–] -2 points 3 days ago (2 children)

    Yes they are intertwined, but still there's an important difference and I think it's useful to be clear. But apparently we can't talk about it here or messages get deleted. Oh well, enforce the hive mind at all costs, I guess.

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  • [–] 1 point 3 days ago (1 child)

    You're mixing two concepts here. 1) The inaccuracy of stereotypical rape definition, and 2) The existence of false accusations.

    Then why didn't you admit they were intertwined with your initial comment? You didn't because you falsely asserted that they are two different concepts.

    Some false accusations are labeled as such because of people's perception of what entails rape.

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  • [–] -1 points 3 days ago

    They are distinct things that are interrelated. Like the pressure and temperature of a gas. Distinct things to measure and understand, yet one tends to affect the other unless you're very careful. In the topic of this thread, it's very important to make the distinction: an accusation is not a false just because it doesn't follow the stereotypical definition. So we need to be clear when we're talking about false accusations, ie if we're not talking about incorrect definitions - but real malicious or erroneous false accusations. And that's an important facet of this discussion because although it's quite small and similar to other crime accusations; this particular type of false accusation is very hard to defend oneself against and it can ruin lives. And even more importantly, can make it harder for real victims, especially when you add on the problem where different people have different definitions of the crime.

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  • Well, your own sources say the opposite, so you are contradicting yourself, or perhaps you didn’t actually read your own sources, but instead sent whatever you thought supported your biases.

    Methodologically rigorous research finds 2-8%

    In contrast, when more methodologically rigorous research has been conducted, estimates for the percentage of false reports begin to converge around 2-8%.

    • For example, in a multi-site study of 8 U.S. communities involved in the “Making a Difference” (or “MAD”) Project, data were collected by law enforcement agencies for all sexual assault reports received in an 18-24 month period. Of the 2,059 cases that were included in the study, 140 (7%) were classified as false.

    This is particularly noteworthy because a number of measures were taken to protect the reliability and validity of the research. First, all participating law enforcement agencies were provided training and technical assistance in an ongoing way to ensure that they were applying consistent definitions for a false report. In addition, a random sample of cases was checked for data entry errors.

    More information on the MAD Project is available at http://www.evawintl.org/.

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  • [–] 4 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    If you trust the Americans justice system to keep incarcerating those judges guilty, then why don't you trust their system to judge appropriately for those that SA people? I get the feeling from this comment that a very large part of it is just plain misogyny. It is a fact that women already suffer harsher prison terms for comparable crimes to men. Even with the inappropriate harsh terms minorites serve. It's clear from studies on this subject and all your comments do it discourage all genders from reporting. The American justice system seems fine with their jailing of other innocent's, just to "make sure ppl feel safe". It's broken all over the place, people are suffering, I don't have a solution. I do encourage speaking up! The Constitution and Bill of Rights ensure the option of speaking publicly about problems to attempt to solve them. Be a part of the solution, stop preventing discussion of the issues!

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  • [–] 54 points 3 days ago

    If the truth would ruin their life, then their decision already did. Your silence only harms their next victim.

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  • [–] 27 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    A lot of people can't read.

    This isn't about false accusations.

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  • [–] 20 points 3 days ago

    It'd be more accurate to say he ruined his life and the life of the person who had to report him for it.

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  • [–] 37 points 3 days ago* (15 children)

    To add to that: it'd be really neat if being reported for SA didn't ruin the abuser's life but instead fixed whatever is wrong with them so that they don't come out of prison 10 years later and do it again. Some of these people are pathologically dangerous. They go to prison criminals and come out criminals. Some.

    They have them in there for years and do barely anything to change them. They just "store them" there and then let them back out for society to deal with them.

    That "abolish prisons" policy, I believe by the US dem-socs, doesn't sound all that bad when you think about all the different ways prison fails us. Some countries have near 50% overall rates of reoffending.

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  • [–] 13 points 3 days ago

    The whole Defund The Police and Ending Prisons isn't about doing away with them altogether. The most radical leftist knows that would be stupid. But warehousing criminals, as they get more and more sociopathic/psychopathic, isn't a healthy system for a healthy society.

    People want the visceral satisfaction of a just punishment, but that's a wasted opportunity. We have a person that has gone down a bad road, and we have the choice of helping them get back on track, or not. Society is improved with the latter, so shouldn't we adopt that strategy, rather than just punishing?

    There are going to be people who are irredeemable, that's just reality. Serial killers, out-of-control psychopaths, child molesters, etc, can't be helped, and those people have to be warehoused. But most people can respond to rehabilitation, as prisons in Europe prove. Their recidivism rate is far, far lower than ours.

    We have been doing the wrong things for many years, just because they look good in the media, or make ignorant voters feel good. In ALL things, we should be looking at what other nations are doing right, and start adopting those strategies. I'm sick of our country doing stupid shit, just because we've always done it that way, and it makes the worst people in America happy.

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  • [–] 9 points 3 days ago

    I remember once seeing a news story where someone who had just gotten out of prison murdered someone. People in the comments were saying he shouldn't have been let out. How after years in prison, of course he's going to be dangerous. Gotta love when the tough on crime people accidentally realize the futility of the prison system.

    The goal SHOULD be to make criminals into productive members of society. Unfortunately, the actual goal in many places is to make criminals keep reoffending to make more money for the business of incarcerating people. Or sometimes the goal is just to punish, with no thought about the long-term utility. Some people just think some people deserve to suffer and don't care about the utility for society. It's the same reason they oppose social safety nets.

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  • [–] -4 points 3 days ago (11 children)

    Some people are just born evil. Or they're born with something broken in their brains that can never be fixed.

    Go talk to some teachers. Ask them about the worst of the worst. You'll hear some stories.

    You hear a lot about "the school to prison pipeline," but there are some kids that you can just look at them and say, "that kid is going to die in prison." I'm talking about kids that assault their teachers and other students. I'm talking kids that steal, lie, and manipulate people in cruel and vindictive ways. In some cases they make a game out of deliberately creating false allegations of inappropriate behavior on the part of their teachers. They actively seek to destroy lives. I'm talking about kids that go through every program and intervention, that receive every form of support and counseling imaginable. Kids that receive nothing but compassion, caring and understanding...and respond by treating other human beings as disposable garbage fit only for their amusement. It's a rare kid that is truly this evil, but there are some real monsters out there. Some people are just born evil. There are some people that will simply never see the humanity in other human beings. There is no amount of counseling or coaching that can fix such profoundly broken souls. The best we can do is to warehouse them, to lock them in a place with their own kind, where they'll never be able to hurt an innocent person ever again.

    You cannot teach someone to have empathy. You cannot teach someone to care for other people. You either do, or you don't.

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  • [–] 4 points 3 days ago (8 children)

    You cannot teach someone to have empathy. You cannot teach someone to care for other people. You either do, or you don’t.

    If they can't help it, the proper response to them is definitely NOT to treat them like bad little boys who need to be locked away and punished forever while we joke about them getting SA'd in prison.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 days ago (2 children)

    Evidence for your assertion? Research including meta-analyses of multiple studies shows that empathy is a trainable capacity that can measurably improve through structured education, practice, and social-emotional learning. Schools, workplaces, and medical institutions use specific programs (such as role-playing, active listening exercises, reading literature, and film-based discussions) to boost emotional literacy and perspective-taking. Schools in Denmark set aside one mandatory hour per week for a dedicated class called Klassens Tid (Class Time) for students aged 6 to 16. Problem-Solving & Listening: Rather than focusing on grades or traditional academic subjects during this hour, students sit together to discuss personal or group problems, practice active listening, and find collective solutions to issues like bullying or social exclusion. Around 60% of schoolwork in Denmark is group-based, emphasizing teamwork and supporting peers rather than individual competition. Finland treats empathy as a core competency woven into daily school life rather than a stand alone subject. Students analyze characters' emotions during reading, mediate their own peer conflicts, and practice emotional resilience through hands-on projects and peer mentoring.

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  • I don't believe that. Yes, I'm sure you can academically define some quantitative measure of empathy. I'm sure you can put together a scale that will allow you to perform a statistical test on it. But I'm not talking about slightly increasing empathy among normal people. I'm talking about people who are truly psychopaths, those with something broken in their soul.

    And the Denmark educational system sounds exactly like the US educational system. We do all that same stuff. If you think K12 education is students sitting in rows listening to lectures, you're comically out of touch.

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  • [–] 0 points 2 days ago (4 children)

    I'm talking about people who get absolutely every opportunity to learn compassion and empathy for other human beings. Some folks will go through all the trainings you give them, ignore them, and laugh in your face. Some people just don't give a fuck about you or anyone else. If you can't recognize that other people have innate value, there's no helping you.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 days ago (3 children)

    If you can’t recognize that other people have innate value, there’s no helping you.

    You say that about unrepentant criminals, but your attitude demonstrates a lack of recognition of their innate value as people. Really this is an inconsistent, hypocritical worldview to have and I reject it categorically.

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  • [–] 0 points 2 days ago (2 children)

    No. I don't reject anyone's value as a person. But I can also recognize that some people simply do not want or cannot learn to play nice with others. Beyond a certain point, when someone just doesn't want to change, the best you can do is to keep them from hurting innocent people.

    People like you are why teachers end up getting assaulted. Violent kids end up staying in classrooms long past the point they are objectively a threat to everyone around them. Administrators resist expulsion because they think like you do. You recognize the innate value of criminals, but you fail to recognize the innate value of their victims.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 days ago (1 child)

    Beyond a certain point, when someone just doesn’t want to change, the best you can do is to keep them from hurting innocent people.

    Yes, I understand that. My issue is with what seems to be our best solution, which is to consign these people to essentially torture. If they are truly incapable of learning any better, there's no point in doing anything to them except keep them from harming others, yet we get off on making them suffer.

    People like you are why teachers end up getting assaulted.

    Go fuck yourself.

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  • And what is your solution, oh wise sage? Some people don't want to be helped. There is no program or intervention you can do to reach these people. Again, at some point the best you can do is put the needs of the many over the needs of the few and keep the psychopaths from hurting innocent people.

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  • [–] 18 points 2 days ago (4 children)

    Why should the guy that got away with rape be the same guy to decide what's fair.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

    I was reading a story on 'why are fraternities even still allowed' and it brought up that every judge talked to about the Stanford case had geek letters in their office from their fraternity, then I remember this legal advice I got once, it went like this 'wait till your trial is appointed a judge, find out what fraternity said judge was in, then look for a lawyer who was also in that fraternity. ' apparently it's VERY effective. So yeah... it's actually really crazy.

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  • [–] 18 points 2 days ago

    "You will ruin that rapist's life!"

    No, he ruined his own life.

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  • [–] 16 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    they don't bring that up for people accused of drug dealing, assault, murder etc nearly as much. almost as if they don't think rape is a serious crime

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  • [–] -3 points 3 days ago

    I've known people who believed their partner was consenting, but were told much later that they committed rape. I knew the ppl well enough to believe they wouldn't intentionally hurt someone and the accuser didn't file charges. Maybe one or both, or neither partners in the two couples were lying? But in both cases the accuser + accused remained friends afterward. Should that really be in the same category as violent sexual assault?

    Rape is certainly serious but it's much easier to quantify murder -- victim is dead or alive-- than how much of a rape was this rape.

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  • [–] 24 points 3 days ago

    Never mind that coming forward with allegations against powerful men ALSO ruins the victims life in highly patriarchal societies. Hell, half the time, the victims are ruined and the predators are celebrated for “beating the allegations.”

    Like I need people to understand, NO ONE has ever become rich and famous by accusing a rich person of sexually assaulting them.

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  • [–] 12 points 3 days ago (3 children)
  • [–] 10 points 2 days ago

    "But you'll ruin that young man's life if you report him..."

    Good.

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  • [–] 25 points 3 days ago (3 children)

    So weird that people want to use this logic for SA, but not for stuff like non-violent drug offenses.

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  • [–] -1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

    Did I misunderstand your comment, or are you trying to argue that recreational drug use is as bad as being a rapist? I dunno about you, but I much rather have a drug user in office than a sex offender.

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  • [–] 8 points 3 days ago*

    Good. Those type of disgusting things who don't deserve to call themselves men will grow up to become disgusting things like pedo-protecting republikkkans.

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  • [–] 14 points 2 days ago* (1 child)

    Unfortunately here in Britain we had a big run of trials that collapsed when it was revealed the accusations were false, nevertheless irrevocably ruining the defendants’ reputations. This sort of prosecutorial incompetence serves to muddy the waters and lead genuine victims to doubt themselves, and well-meaning confidants ro err on the side of what they consider to be caution.

    Ideally, a performant justice system and use of blanket media reporting restrictions to protect defendants until conviction would allow such determinations as “ruining someone’s life” to the prosecutors and the jury and save personal anguish on the part of the complainant.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

    Oh no you'll ruin that person's life if you report his murders!

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  • Ruined lifes are a valid point, but I care more about the lifes he ruined than his own.

    That said, I think serving his time and proving he's no longer a threat to the public, he should be allowed to live a normal life again. Maybe with the exclusion of certain jobs like policeman, judge or I don't know, President, for example.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

    A lot of the positions you’re thinking of the person taking are extremely competitive. So, while that situation is unenviable, you can also think of it as promoting a more worthy candidate.

    Still doesn’t pass over the simple idea that there should be more jobs available. (Maybe even more judges/lawyers/doctors)

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  • [–] 2 points 3 days ago

    This. This comes up when people whine about the unfairness of checking credit for apartments/jobs or standardized test scores for college. The way people bitch and moan, you'd think the landlord is going to burn down the house if you have a single late payment on your credit report. But you have to put yourself in the shoes of the other person and acknowledge that it's not more fair to ignore those things. It's just kind of arbitrary on the margins.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 days ago*

    Ruining his life falsely implies he deserves to live

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  • [–] 3 points 3 days ago*

    jokes on you, he could still do it after conviction. does anyone honestly think maga would care? its all but proven at this point for not only the president and they eat it up.

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  • [–] 7 points 3 days ago (4 children)

    Strong Brock Allen Turner vibes in the first half.

    “Won’t someone PLEASE think of the rapists?” is the weirdest and most repulsive defense I’ve ever heard, even if it’s always couched as an innocent little manchild who made a teensy little mistake that totally wasn’t his fault anyway.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 days ago* (3 children)

    It's more like, won't someone please think of the innocent people whose lives are permanently ruined because of slander? That's why we have a legal system, and everyone is innocent until proven guilty.

    You can't have a certain category of crime for which all accusations are be taken at face value and truthful by default.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 days ago

    You can't have a certain category of crime for which all accusations are be taken at face value and truthful by default.

    Point of order - that is not what is being advocated for here.

    No one said "Let's ruin people's lives based on taking an accusation without any proof"

    They said "Consequences for rapists" and somehow that jumped to "there's no way to prove rape happened" like it is a crime that leaves behind no physical evidence or corroborated accounts of repeat patterns from multiple often unrelated victims who have no knowledge of each other.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 days ago

    Do you feel bad not being labeled a rape apologist? It’s an easy fix.

    Fucking LISTEN to women saying they were raped. The stats about the numbers who are assaulted versus those willing to be crucified by the court of public opinion or our legal system are utterly horrifying.

    This shouldn’t have to be said, but some of you are too fucking dense to figure it out.

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  • [–] 9 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    I'm fine with this, as long as false charges are just as severely penalized.

    If the truth can ruin the perpetrator's life, then the truth should ruin the accuser's life when appropriate

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  • [–] 1 point 3 days ago

    You shouldn't need a conditional like "as long as" anything. You should be fine with it when rapists are penalized, unconditionally. Do better.

    Not to mention false charges are already penalized. The point of this is that the true ones ruin the victim's life too.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 days ago

    They still get to be president, look at pedo Trump

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  • [–] 2 points 3 days ago

    He already ruined his own life by ruining those of others. It's not wrong for him to face consequences for that. That these @ssholes are more concerned about his life is ridiculous.

    Also, maybe he can put on his big boy pants, accept responsibility, accept that there're many, many things he's disqualified himself for in this life, and take the consequences as just. Do his time. Accept exile from whole sections of the community if he gets out. He'll never be able to give back what he destroyed, but he can spend his life trying his best to make up for it as humbly as possible though he will fail. That's the only moral path open to him.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    Why are people screenshot other social media and post it to social media? What's next you record your doom scrolling and put it on YouTube?

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