These fuckers rate pink lady a 90 but give granny smith a 57 and lemonade apples a 63? Lost their fucking minds; pink lady are just decent and are only saved by their price point. Can't even compete with modern hit-or-miss honeycrisp. No way in fuck are they the third-best apple variety.

Yeah, no shit lemonade apples don't taste like you're drinking lemonade. That's a problem for like the first one you eat if you're really susceptible to marketing, after which you can just enjoy them for what they are: a solidly above-average apple with a unique background lemony flavor that are fun to mix in with other apples.

The granny smith, meanwhile, is a fantastic pie apple and a great sour apple, and most of the review is spent whining endlessly about slightly thick skin (literally good for you, arguably one of an apple's few advantages health-wise over other fruits) and dense flesh. This rating in particular is deranged.

Edit: Holy shit, they rated pink lady a 3.5/5 on tartness. In what universe?? In. What. Fucking. Universe. It's got practically zero tartness.

Also, complete double standards. Granny smith gets basically its entire review dedicated to denigrating dense flesh and thick skin, but pink lady with its thick skin and dense flesh is called "dense enough to hammer a nail" by its review, and yet these two factors are only treated as mediocre on the bar graph whereas granny smith got a fat fucking 0 for both. What a hypocritical load of shit.

Came here for the apple love. Stayed for the absolute hate and vitriol.

Someone explain to me why Red Delicious is still a thing in a world of Cosmic Crisp?

I have never witnessed so much spite in a single review and I’m so here for it

It's at 37 now.

The most disappointing apple I’ve ever had was an Arkansas black (or might’ve been Alabama black). Cosmetically it’s a gorgeous apple. Nice and round and a deep shade a red, like what you’d expect to see used as a prop in a Snow White production. But when you bite into it it’s a sandy, mealy disgrace.

I love the apple rankings site but remain ever a Honeycrisp ho. I never liked apples until one day I was pregnant and hungry and at Target they had out samples of apple - out of desperation I grabbed one and holy crap, it was everything an apple should be, nothing like anything I'd had before, and I worked at a natural foods store, we got the pink lady and cripps and gala, it's not like I had not tried to like apples.

It will ever be the Honeycrisp, the platonic ideal. Perfectly sweet, perfectly tart, and can be cooked in pies and taste good. I don't need any other apple. My coworker prefers the Cosmic Crisp but I don't.

No review for Topaz. Failure of a website smh

Maybe it was their favorite apple because it's excellent for cider production?

Oh yay, I get to address my two favorite common misconceptions about the colonial US at once.

There is an element of truth in the assertion that Ben Franklin owned slaves, but it's mostly untrue. He participated in what he was taught to do from an early age, but seeing the effects of slavery first hand changed his mind. He spent the rest of his life as one of that era's most outspoken critics against slavery, even purchasing a printing press to print anti-slavery brochures and pamphlets.

https://benjaminfranklinhouse.org/education/benjamin-franklin-and-slavery/

George Washington's wooden teeth are a myth. Wood teeth certainly existed, but were extremely uncommon and only used by people who had nothing else. Most commonly, dentures of that era were made from ivory, animal teeth, or cadaver teeth.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Washington%27s_teeth

Fun site, but ranking Pink Lady higher than Braeburn should be considered a mental disorder.

Honeycrisp or GTFO.

What a joke of a site they don't even have a ranking for my favorite apple. Liberty (NY 55140-19) are great eating apples. The only problem with them: they're only in season once a year.

Eating pigeon pie and squirrel isn't about the food. Especially squirrel, fuck those shit's. They did a few hundred in damages to my mango trees. Why am I upset? because the shit's would knock em off the tree, take a couple bites and leave them for me to clean up. I wouldn't care if they ate it all. They really are pests.

So maybe the apple pie, was the cherry on top of eating the squirrel. Not for the taste, but for the spite.

A sand filled used condom or a new one? That makes a big difference in taste.

Isn't that the website that gives granny smith a rating far lower than it deserves?

I don't trust this person's palate.

(my favorite are jonagold)

I've made a few recipes from the late 1700s, and they are mostly garbage loaded up with cloves. Cloves and nutmeg were a money flex back then, so many "fancy" things usually had them included. Like a mince and suet pie... Ugh.

Also check out author Chuck Wendig’s blog. He talks about apples (mostly - NSF[W|L] caveat lector)

Lucy Glo my beloved is ranked quite well on the site. Used to bike to Pike Place every other weekend to grab some, always worth braving the crowds over. I miss them and Ranier cherries

I checked out the website and found it hilarious, but apparently everyone else on here wants to fucking kill them.

Best apple in current meta is the SweeTango but I'm never changing from my of Red Delicious main

https://applerankings.com/sweetango-apple-review/

What is with that website shilling for Sweetangos so hard?

AI could never

More people need to try Opal Gold apples.

Nice to see that Kanzi is ranked so highly. It is the best available apple in german stores.

Apples are so interesting because the old ones were definitely pretty bland, and not for eating fresh. More for cooking into pies, or cider. But also we’ve experienced some apple enshittification due to mass marketing/long distance shipping. Imo peak apple varietals for direct eating are ones that were popular in the 1920’s/30’s; in the context of the USA, these mean the orchards planted by New Deal/CCC operations are usually a good bet. Where I live there are a bunch of abandoned, semi-feral orchards from this era and it rules.

I'm too lazy to check the site but, I'm certain snapdragon apples are rated pretty highly. I love those apples.

I'm allergic to apples and certain other fruits like cherries

Doctors usually don't believe it's a real allergy

Throat gets unbearably itchy after just a small bite

Cooked fruit is totally fine though like pies

Most web sites have a more promotional attitude towards their product descriptions. I guess big Newton Pippin industrial complex lost out to more well funded nazi apple propaganda.

Is there a filter to remove all the breeds of apple that are under a patent?

Living in Washington State is for true Appleheads