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‘Please avoid chugging your ranch’: TSA forced to issue warning as foreign World Cup fans fall in love with American condiment (www.independent.co.uk)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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[–] 154 points 4 months ago (40 children)

Meanwhile, a German influencer named Freddy, who keeps his face hidden on X, recently went viral with his hilarious and enthusiastic reactions to trying fast food staples like Taco Bell, Waffle House and Buc-ee’s.

Aside from calling Taco Bell “the holy land,” he shared a picture of his chicken and fries platter from Raising Cane’s and wrote, “lives were changed. The soccer fan was undeniably impressed by Waffle House, writing about his 1 a.m. visit: “Great food, great prices, and friendly staff. 10/10, we will be coming back.”

Brother, if Taco Bell got you that excited you should try the real stuff. If you’re at a match in the US where any Latin American country is playing I guarantee there is an abuela in the parking lot/on the sidewalk selling food out of a cooler that will explode your European palate and send you directly to heaven.

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  • [–] 38 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Brother, if Taco Bell got you that excited you should try the real stuff. If you’re at a match in the US where any Latin American country is playing I guarantee there is an abuela in the parking lot/on the sidewalk selling food out of a cooler that will explode your European palate and send you directly to heaven.

    I hate when people say this, because they clearly don't actually understand the Taco Bell dynamic. They assume it's trying to be something it isn't.

    Taco Bell is not Mexican food, and they do not claim to be Mexican Food. Their items are vaguely latin-inspired, and they generally use the same 5 or so ingredients that most Mexican food uses in various shapes and sizes, but nowhere on their marketing or website will you find a claim that they make Mexican food. They don't claim to, and they don't claim to be authentic. Expecting that or even comparing it to that, is disingenuous at best, and actively stupid at worst.

    Taco Bell is its own thing. I'm in Arizona, there's Mexican food literally on every corner. Most good, some excellent, very little bad, because it just doesn't aurvive. Yet 9/10 people I see at Taco Bell are some flavor of Hispanic. There's a reason they go there, and it's not because they want Mexican food.

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  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I came here to say this exact same thing! Thank you for saving me the trouble.

    Cravings for Mexican food and for taco bell will not satisfy each other because they're not the same thing.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    There's a whole spectrum of cravings for Mexican. Sometimes it's Taco Bell, sometimes it's Azteca, sometimes it's that unlicensed al pastor pop-up at the edge of the Winco parking lot at night, and sometimes it's authentic Oaxacan pollo con mole.

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  • [–] 35 points 4 months ago (10 children)

    The whole point is we have authentic food from most countries available to us in Europe. Immigrants and cultures mixing is not unique to the US. What we don't have is all the big chain fast food that we see on tv, but have never tasted. We get excited because we get to try "authentic american" fast food.

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  • [–] 10 points 4 months ago* (1 child)

    Also, a handful of the preservatives and some ingredients used in the US fast food supply chain are illegal to manufacture and/or serve in Europe.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    And that's a valid thing to be excited by. It's the same as wandering the streets of Vietnam or Tripoli late at night to eat the street food. And you should do it because it's not something you can experience back home very easily.

    So if you're in the US, try some Burger King and Taco Bell by all means. And if you are really adventurous and daring, eat a gas station hotdog too.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago* (2 children)

    I don't think that's a good comparison at all. From everything I've seen, you can get some outstanding food from a random cart in Vietnam for very cheap (probably like 1/3-1/4 the price a BK meal at this point), and it's going to be 1000x better than anything you could ever find in an American fast food place.

    That said, the US also has incredible food, including street food and food carts in many places, that also blows fast food out of the water.

    If you come here, and only eat fast food, I honestly feel really bad for you. Especially since it's not even cheap anymore.

    The amazing food (and variety of it), is one of the biggest, most visible benefits of the US' multiculturalism. Anyone who has lived in a US city knows exactly what I'm talking about.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (1 child)

    Oh, I agree with you. We have a very diverse and tasty cuisine in the US. Filled with foodstuffs that will blow even the most jaded gourmand away.

    But if you're a tourist here for the first time in your life, this might well be the only time you get to eat a “real” Big Mac, Whopper, or burrito and potatoes ole. These are things you've read about and seen in movies and probably TV. So there ain't no shame in getting some chicken nuggets and dipping them in ranch dressing and really enjoying the food. And the most important part, where you ate that crappy chicken. It will be a lifetime memory.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    If you say so. I disagree completely. I find the idea of visiting a foreign country, only to eat some of the worst food that exists in that country (because why, you saw ads for it? Really?) to be absolutely idiotic.

    No but really though, why? These are massive corporations who do not deserve your money. Their product is shit and insanely overpriced. And they're corporations, so their existence is a cancer on society.

    Seriously, who is thinking about fucking McDonald's when visiting another country? Disgusting.

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  • [–] 39 points 4 months ago (11 children)

    Raising Cane's

    Ugh. even within the limited circle of fast-food and fast-casual chicken finger franchises, Cane's is bland nonsense. Fried chicken as interpreted by a Star Trek replicator, and not one from the Enterprise, but the Cerritos.

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  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    You take that back!

    The cerritos officers replicators have spicy mayo!

    Starfleet wouldn't even curse the lower deckers with cane's chicken.

    I swear they are only kept afloat by how quick they sling the chicken out, and their toast. It's like people don't know how to make their own toast...

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Their sauce is okay (I prefer Layne's), but that's good because it's fuckin' necessary, since I think somebody saw a recipe for the batter that included a pinch of black pepper and said , "Whoa there motherfucker! We ain't makin' ethnic food here!"

    Admittedly, when the Cane's comes out it does always look very sanitary and photo-ready. Like, I don't feel like I'm gonna get Salmonella from eating there, but it's just so joyless.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    I've been telling people this for years. The only reason they like Cane's is the sauce. And that is easily replicated at home. It's not a particularly special sauce with weird ingredients, it's a fairly generic burger and fry sauce.

    The actual Chicken is bland and boring, it's like they don't realize spices exist at all, even salt. Absolutely anywhere else you could possibly go has better fried chicken.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    Yeah, I too hate Canes and cannot possibly understand how people think it’s so great.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (2 children)

    There are exactly two good things on their menu: the chicken and the Cane's sauce.

    And even those aren't good enough for me to go out of my way to get them.

    But like, it's not bad by any stretch.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago*

    It's not bad, it's just mediocre, the worst thing you can be. If someone had the opinion that it were bad, then that's means it's flavorful enough for someone to form an opinion of it. However, it's just the most basic ass fried chicken you can get. I can almost guarantee you, wherever there's a Cain's, there's a better fried chicken place close enough that you should go there instead.

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  • [–] 83 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    He's from Germany. 

    Anything less bland than an American chain might kill him.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    I'm in France and even at every Latino bands concert there's always some Latinos selling great food at great prices. Even if you go to the embassies there's always locals selling god shit

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    A friend from Australia was visiting me in LA and wanted all the California stereotypical food throughout the week. The only thing that surpassed all expectations was an al pastor burrito from a local mom and pop shop.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    I remember one time my American family hosted some French exchange student and he and all his classmates were dying for taco bell and dunkin donuts. I still honestly don't know why as French bakeries make much better stuff than what you can get at dunkin

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    • [–] 29 points 4 months ago

    Fuck that, we put ranch through dialysis machines.

    Fuckin’ chug your ranch, godspeed!

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    [–] 26 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    Wait until they find out ranch makes great lube.

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    • [–] 38 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (14 children)

    You can make it yourself for a fraction of even the price of the packets.

    Just made a small batch for wings. It's much better than anything store bought.

    Hidden Valley Original Ranch Dressing Clone

    1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup buttermilk (Greek yogurt works fine)
Dried Parsley Flakes
Ground Black Pepper
Msg (optional)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon onion powder
Dried Thyme

    I like to add a touch of dried dill or dill seed also. Edit: also lemon juice or a touch of rice vinegar.

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  • [–] 13 points 4 months ago (6 children)

    One potential problem: I don’t know how it is in the rest of Europe, but in France basically all mayonnaise includes Dijon mustard, so you can’t just use it straight in an American recipe. I did usually see at least one brand labeled “American mayonnaise” that did not include mustard, but people would need to be aware of the difference.

    I’d be curious to know if mayonnaise more or less always included mustard and it was for some reason stripped out of the recipe that made its way to the US (my guess would be the British having some role), or if mustard was a later addition to the French recipe after it had already crossed the Atlantic.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago

    Mustard is used as an easy "natural" emulsifier to keep things together, since the ingredients in mayo don't really want to be in that configuration and it is easy to "break" that mix.

    The amounts needed to do so is very small though, and usually imperceptible at the scale of a whole jar of mayo. Definitely not something you'd notice in most cases.

    But again, every brand is different. Some probably are more mustard forward for whatever reason.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    It's not universal across Europe, for sure, so I'd say this is A France problem.

    Dutch, English, German mayo would be just fine. Can't speak to Spanish or Italian mayo. Farther east, blander it gets.

    But the added buttermilk/yogurt really makes it a negligible issue overall.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    That is a good question... Any recipe for homemade mayo I've ever seen includes mustard. A casual investigation makes it seem that mayonnaise originates from France or Spain to begin with (I guess it's contested).

    That said, I feel like in France all the mustard I have had is much punchier than what we have here in the States. Possible France has just added more and better mustard as a stabilizer?

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    It is my understanding that mustard is often used as an emulsifier, especially in homemade mayo. But I don’t really like mayo, so I’m not an expert.

    Is the mustard flavor you’re talking about subtle, or in your face?

    It should be fairly simple to make a pull through mayo at home if you have a stick mixer.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (1 child)

    If you don't have any of these ingredients, it will cost you $24 to buy them all. And, you'll only get 4 batches, before you need to buy more mayo, and 16 batches out of the buttermilk, but you'd better use it up before it goes bad in two weeks. So, you'd need to make and use about one batch per day.

    Unless you commit to making it ongoing, and use it regularly, this is not an economical way to get Ranch.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago*

    Tell me you don't cook without saying you don't cook... Sheesh.

    Any reasonably well-stocked kitchen will have some, if not most, of these.

    I prefer using plain yogurt as it's a staple in my house, but powdered buttermilk that lasts years, and just milk and a bit of lemon juice are all well-known substitutes. Nothing special needed.

    The point of sharing a recipe is to make a fraction of a full batch, not make a liter on permanent standby. I usually make 8 oz at a time when I make wings. Takes 5 minutes. If I were to use packets, I have to make a full batch as packets aren't a homogeneous powder easily divided.

    Also, packets and bottled shelf stable ranch contain preservatives that mess up gut flora. So you may have medical costs later as the result of being obtuse about cooking for yourself now.

    I have never once "committed" to making ranch other than on-demand, and I don't buy anything special that I only use for making ranch.

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    • [–] 18 points 4 months ago

    Don't tell me what to do you're not my real dad

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    [–] 16 points 4 months ago*

    I remember the first time I had ranch dressing at a friend's house, I couldn't wait to come home and tell my mom there was something other than oil and vinegar for salad.

    Turns out she already knew that. We didn't have ranch dressing because of something called "too expensive." Can you believe that?

    Man, she pulled that excuse out for everything.

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    [–] 39 points 4 months ago (5 children)

    I'm loving the cultural exchange the world cup is providing, euros now understand why we're so fat when the food's this fire!

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  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    And we're smack dab between 2 places known for slow cooking in fat. Ffs we got heavy French plus a harsh winter to the north, and mfers who bury half a pig for a day in hot coals to the south!

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  • [–] 12 points 4 months ago* (2 children)

    Unexpected couchon. You haven't had pork till you've eaten a couchon de lait seasoned to Creole standards and cooked in good swamp earth.

    Edit: wait. Half a pig?

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    It's how I've had it. There was a butcher in South Florida years and years ago that sold them for cheap, and it was an easy thing to do for medium sized gatherings.

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    • [–] 13 points 4 months ago

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    [–] 12 points 4 months ago (14 children)

    This is why I buy the ranch powder in bulk.

    https://www.costco.com/p/-/hidden-valley-ranch-homestyle-seasoning-dip-and-salad-dressing-mix-20-oz/100654735

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 4 months ago (13 children)

    Powder?? 🤢

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  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    Brother's username is CANNED. TUNA. and he's making barf emojis over a seasoning mix lmao

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (3 children)

    Preserved fish is a bit different than dehydrated buttermilk + herbs.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    Powder was like the original way they sold it, I thought! You mixed it in fresh at home!

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 4 months ago (2 children)

    TIL. Never knew that. What’s the water ratio??

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    • [–] 12 points 4 months ago

    Hope they’re not buying g the shelf stable bottles after falling in love at a restaurant. They will be sorely disappointed when they get home…

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    [–] 9 points 4 months ago

    This definitely fits in NotTheFrenchOnion

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