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[–] 151 points 7 months ago (15 children)

When I was an alcoholic I diagnosed myself with lactose intolerance. I’d have the Gatling Shits and wonder ‘Hmm was it the 14 tallboy cans of beer last night or the half liter of milk I had for lunch? Must have been the milk.’

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  • [–] 46 points 7 months ago (6 children)

    So your lactose intolerant huh? That sucks. I used to wonder what food was causing my rectum to bleed so much, but I've diagnosed that it wasn't something to worry about until my 40s.

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  • [–] 18 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Dealing with bleeding in my 40s after putting it off for a few years, don't recommend.

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  • [–] 14 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    Yeah it started for me around 18 or so. I've put it off for 18 years now. I'm sure it was a mixture of drinking, dehydration, excessive running, stress and poor diet. For a little while I couldn't figure out if it was hemmroids from stress/riding a motorcycle and other strains but when I read more into the damages that can be done from long distance running all the time, I think that and diet caused most of it. Excessive alcohol use following that up didn't help much. I've learned that bad choices are my Pokemon, I apparently just have to catch them all before I learn anything

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  • [–] 12 points 7 months ago (5 children)

    I didnt get lactose intolerance until I was in my 30s. So weird that my body just decided "Nah, Im good with dairy products" all on it's own.

    Really wish I would have discovered that earlier in life, before I developed my crippling cocoa pebbles addiction.

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  • [–] 19 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    So weird that my body just decided “Nah, Im good with dairy products” all on it’s own.

    That's actually the normal way your body is supposed to be. Most mammals lose their tolerance a little after they are weaned. Only some portions of humans retained lactase in their guts, generally groups that were pastoralists retained lactase and other groups didn't. It's why most east asian don't have lactose tolerance but Mongolians, some Sub-Saharan Africans, and Europeans do.

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago*

    I've read that before, but I guess what strikes me as odd is how it wasn't until I hit my 30s that I suddenly started shitting my brains out whenever I consumed more than a small glass of milk. I drank a lot of milk growing up...it was pretty much that or water much of the time, and even after I went off to college and stuff I still went through a gallon by myself every 3 or 4 days. Not even just milk but WHOLE milk...I didn't switch to skim until my 20s when I moved in with my gf and she hated whole milk.

    Anyways, after three decades of no issues whatsoever, and zero change in my habits, suddenly my body decided "NYET! NO MORE!!!" and my ability to properly digest lactose evaporated basically overnight. I didn't even make the connection until I was traveling and wasn't drinking any milk on my trip and didn't have any problems, but then got nearly crippled the next morning after I had a big ol bowl of Captain Crunch before bed the night I got home.

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  • [–] 83 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    It’s fun to watch people self-diagnose food allergies.

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  • [–] 56 points 7 months ago (5 children)

    There was a cheapo Japanese restaurant downtown. Plastic everything. Went there for lunch a while back. Worst Bento box ever.

    Six months later. Hmm, Bento box sounds good. Go to this Japanese restaurant. Halfway through the awful meal, remember I'd been there! Swore never to go back. Again.

    This cycle repeated SIX times.

    What broke it was the whole building burning to the ground because of a grease fire.

    Point is... hmm... Bento for lunch sounds good.

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago*

    I have such good memories from my time in Fukuoka and the bentos on sale after a certain hour, it really was dirt cheap and super good. If my memory serves right, it was around 200¥, 230¥, something like that. Approximately 2€ ! even less today with the yen having lost value.

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  • [–] 6 points 7 months ago* (3 children)

    I had a similar experience involving pizza. Growing up I remember eating sbarro. I remember liking it. I know I liked the look of how shiny the pizza was. It reminded me of cartoon pizza.

    Anyway, fast forward till I'm 30 year old man recruiting for the military. I was in malls walking around and I noticed the shiny pizza from sbarro. I ordered it. I ate it. It tasted like cardboard. I don't know if they changed their recipe, but chances are my taste buds just grew up and had better quality pizza over the years.

    Well....I'm a slow learner and over the course of about 2-3 months I ended up eating sbarro like 3-4 times. Everytime I saw that shiny pizza, my brain had a nostalgia hit and I just went an ordered the 2 slice and a drink deal. After the last time, I wanted to throw it away but I forced myself to finish the cardboard pizza so I would remember how terrible it is.

    I haven't had sbarro since.

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  • [–] 6 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    The nice thing about pizza is that even when it's bad it's still pretty good.

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  • [–] 54 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (16 children)

    It's one of them.

    Flawed assumption. It could be both. You'll need to eat there at least two more times to find out, assuming each trial yields 100% certainty.


    Edit: I thought it should be obvious that we're taking them absolutely at their word that they've properly isolated these two variables because this experiment exists inside a joke and never happened. The whole point of the joke is that the methodology is god awful and completely unrealistic, so questioning that they've truly isolated the variables is pointless.


    Edit 2: Wait, I totally misread the experiment setup. @TheYojimbo@lemmy.world is entirely correct that they've eliminated nothing if the experiment is totally defined by 8 bowls and 8 bouts of diarrhea. They're still converging on at least one cause, but there could still be others. My career is ruined.

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  • [–] 20 points 7 months ago (4 children)

    In fact, they could be allergic to some or all of the ingredients eliminated. Or to the delivery driver's personal hygiene.

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Or the bowls. Or something at that location...

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago (10 children)
  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (9 children)

    We'll take them at their word that they've truly narrowed the variables to tuna and house sauce (i.e. they've eaten a meal consisting of only tuna and house sauce and gotten sick, at least one of which has always been the underlying cause, but everything else they've eaten has been properly eliminated, and there are no ways outside of the food truck they could've gotten sick), and thus the only logical options are T, HS, or T+HS. The premise of the joke already relies on completely unrealistic simplifying assumptions, so we can too.


    Edit: We will not do this because it's logically impossible based on the described experiment thus far. I'm an utter dipshit.

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago (8 children)

    They said they ate 8 times and got diarrhea 8 times, the only way to be sure it's one of them is to eat at least once without those ingredients and not get diarrhea

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago* (7 children)

    They said they got diarrhea 8 times over 8 bowls, but they never said how many ingredients they used. (Edit: Fuck)

    Assume nine ingredients exist: a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i

    • Bowl 1: a + b + c + d + e + f + g + h + i: Diarrhea
    • Bowl 2: a: No diarrhea
    • Bowl 3: b: No diarrhea
    • Bowl 4: c: No diarrhea
    • Bowl 5: d: No diarrhea
    • Bowl 6: e: No diarrhea
    • Bowl 7: f: No diarrhea
    • Bowl 8: g: No diarrhea
    • Bowl 9: The one the OP is referring to "tomorrow", which could have h, i, or h + i

    That's a perfectly feasible if disgusting way to have a bowl from a poke truck if you're doing it solely for an experiment. And that's just one setup; there are more convoluted ones you could do that have fewer ingredients but mixed together so your bowls aren't just one combination. I just chose the counterexample that's easiest to construct mathematically and which logically uses the fewest steps to eliminate each ingredient.


    Edit: Wait, sorry, I misconstructed this because I misread it even while quoting it. Fuck, if they got diarrhea each time, then yeah, they've properly eliminated nothing.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago (6 children)

    Yeah that's what I meant, 100% diarrhea means they eliminated nothing. Sorry I should have phrased that better.

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago* (4 children)

    Oh, no, you phrased it fine; I read 8 bowls and 8 bouts multiple times and somehow still misinterpreted the experiment. It was only after I wrote down and submitted an example setup that I snapped out of my own illiteracy. I realized every possible counterexample was assuming "no diarrhea" trials.

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    If we're taking them at their word (and not the silly joke it is) technically they could have removed 7 ingredients so far, with only 2 left, while still having diarrhea each time. In that context, say next time they try the dish with only 1 ingredient and the don't have diarrhea, then they have the likely suspect. They could then try the dish with every ingredient except the suspected allergen to confirm it

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    That's the logic I was avoiding, because although it's heuristically likely in real life that there's only one culprit – and that you could get Bowl 9 with ingredients a, b, c, d, e, f, and g to show it's definitely h or i if you don't get sick – there's also a chance you have diarrhea on that Bowl 9 and gain very little information. There's no conclusiveness to the variable isolation, so it's not sound from an information theoretic perspective.

    Actually, if you assume a comically unlikely worst-case scenario where all of the ingredients cause diarrhea, that sort of recursive algorithm might be the most amount of diarrhea you can get while still gaining information on each bowl.

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago

    By neither, I meant the cause could be out of the scope of the variables being tested. Eg. It could be something the cook does, or a particular spice, or the subject may have an ongoing condition they're unaware of, or be doing something before or after lunch which causes it.

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  • [–] 39 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    OMG I did the same thing at a local pub. Thinking steak sandwich. Ordered one up. Pretty good! Went home, went to bed. Three hours later - gurgle - glorp - oh shit! The rest of the night it was coming out both ends. Feel fine after some sleep. Forget all about it. Three weeks later, at the same pub. Thinking steak sandwich again. Pretty good! Went home, went to bed. Sure enough, three hours later, lather, rinse, repeat. Feel fine after some sleep. Forget all about it. Three weeks later, go to the same pub. Thinking steak sandwich again, third time's the charm, right? My face when the pub had a sign up saying it was closed down for health code violations :/ To be fair, it was a good sandwich.

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  • [–] 7 points 7 months ago

    That's basically my experience with salvia in my late teens/early 20s. Enough time would pass where I'd think, "it really couldn't be as bad as I remember," and every time I learned that it could be worse than I remembered.

    Also with smoking weed when very drunk.

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  • [–] 38 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

    Pretty sure he's forgetting the constant variable, where x equals the times the cook uses the porta potty divided by the times he washes his hands.

    (i.e division by zero = butthole undefined, or maybe infinite diarrhea).

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  • [–] 31 points 7 months ago* (8 children)

    Fun fact: This is not actually much different from the process of testing which foods trigger your IBS After keeping the low FODMAPs diet, wherein you initially remove all possible triggers, you then test them one by one to see which ones you have specifically.

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  • [–] 6 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    No, it's very different.

    When you have multiple allergies/intolerances, starting at zero and then adding one thing at a time is a lot more efficient than removing one thing at a time.

    Removing one thing at a time will create many false negatives, where you remove a hit but don't notice because you left another hit behind.

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago

    With food intolerance you are better off cutting down to just meat (presuming you aren't morally opposed to eating meat) then adding things back in gradually

    The only trouble is going on any low carbohydrate diet takes weeks to adapt to, so though you'd be symptom free from your food intolerances you'd have keto adaptation symptoms

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  • [–] 15 points 7 months ago

    Could also be the owner that never washes his hands.

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  • [–] 14 points 7 months ago* (3 children)

    It's a shame that this is a re-post: I would like to know if the culprit was the tuna or the house sauce.

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago

    Repeatedly off tuna without smell would be kind of hard to replicate.

    My bet is on the sauce (like they kept reflling the same contaminated container)

    Repeatedly getting sick from a work surface or employee hygiene seems sketch. up to 50% of the times and i'd be on board, but every time....

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  • [–] 38 points 7 months ago (11 children)

    You mean the tuna and the house sauce weren't the two variables this guy tried isolating first?

    He literally tried removing rice and all the vegetables before thinking "hmm, maybe it's the tuna or the sauce."

    What a loon. He deserves every one of those awful shits.

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  • [–] 41 points 7 months ago (9 children)

    Good science doesn't start with biases friend.

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  • [–] 24 points 7 months ago (6 children)

    Good science starts from the body of evidence we already know, creates a plausible hypothesis, and then tests that hypothesis to see whether it can be disproven.

    We don't say "hey, maybe gravity isn't real so to be unbiased I need to assume it's not and test every other possibility before determining what keeps making these bricks fall on my head every time I throw them up in the air"

    No need to reinvent the wheel for every experiment.

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Depends on how much tuna you want to eat in the process, shits be dammed. Optimize for quantity of fish consumed.

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    I'll eat tuna from somewhere that doesn't give me bad tuna...

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Maybe not the greatest example since we don't fully understand gravity. ”good" in the sense of being expedient, affordable and conventional. Sometimes approaching unsolved problems without the constraints of prior constructs can lead to better understanding.

    Also, vegetables usually are the culprits anyways.

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago

    Okay, but they can focus on experiments designed to determine whether gravity is caused by quantum mechanics or relativity or something else. They don't need to drop bricks on their heads just to prove newtonian physics...

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  • [–] 12 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    dude I've def ate food I loved the taste of but knew it was gonna make me shit liquid fire.

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  • [–] 12 points 7 months ago* (1 child)

    On the off chance this isn't just a joke and never happened, in theory they had to have eaten the exact same dish each time, but requested removal of a single ingredient, and are now down to the last two eliminations?

    The only problem with this method being they're going in with the assumption that a single ingredient is causing the issue, when it could be multiple or all of the ingredients - or even a result of poor hygiene from the person preparing these pokes.

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  • [–] 9 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    i thought my beer had expired one night because i had a terrible time on the toilet at 4am but i totally forgot i ate an entire wedge of blue cheese earlier

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Beer tastes bad when it goes bad, yeast is really good at protecting itself - there's nothing in beer that anything can eat without oxygen so nothing can reproduce, most things can't survive the alcohol.

    Beer in commercial places doesn't have time to go bad they empty multiple kegs a week, a keg typically holds about 100 pints

    My homebrew setup uses kegs that hold about 35 pints and they don't empty quicker than in a season, some of my beers are on tap for a year or more. Beer life is limited by oxygen penetration and temperature.

    If it's exposed to air it goes bad in days to weeks depending on temperature but it goes bad by the yeast converting it to vinegar, and that very quickly tastes bad, even very drunk people tip out rather than drink an even slightly oxidised beer

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago

    I had a beer once that had been put in the freezer and then forgotten about and it did sort of frozen and exploded at the same time. So I got it out of the freezer and put it on the side and it thawed out over the course of the next day but it tasted awful afterwards. It was probably out on the side for 4 or 5 hours before I came home from work, saw that it is now finally defrosted, and put it in the fridge. So that's a very fat turnaround.

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  • [–] 7 points 7 months ago

    I did the same thing at our local sushi restaurant. For a while I was convinced it was the iced tea.

    Nope, I just randomly became allergic to fish in my 20s.

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  • [–] 6 points 7 months ago

    And that's why I came into the office drinking a bottle of house sauce.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago

    It's like me trying to figure out which brand of the 12th beer courses me to be sick the day after.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago

    8 times.

    Human capacity never ceases to amaze me.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago

    Funny you mention arse, because the chef is constantly scratching theirs.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago

    This is a strange thing to do, tell people you have a diarrhea fetish.

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  • [+] 5 points 7 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago

    This guy. Taking the bullet for all of us. A true scientist.

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago

    For Science!

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago (2 children)

    Search Engine (podcast) had a 2 part episode on this that was interesting. They even did a DNA test on some samples of fish when trying to narrow down what it could be.

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