I gave up parties, going out, and friends, in favor of staying home with my son. I quite like it, and I think he does as well. We just moved to a new place that has private entrances to the units. Also, I’ve noticed a good amount of kids in the neighborhood. I figured that there would be at least some amount of trick or treating.

I ended up picking up a bag of 210pc fun-size Hershey, Reese’s , and KitKats—ya know, the good stuff—at BJ’s the other day. Also, I got some Halloween light decorations to get their attention as well. I was going to chill out front with a Pikachu costume on, passing out candy. I love kids. Engaging with them, making them laugh or feel cool is so much fun for me.

I have no idea when it would start around here, so I setup a webcam in one of the windows with a live view, so that my son and I could watch scary movies until kids start coming around. Not a single one. I don’t mean that they skipped my place. It was like a ghost town. So now I have a bowl of like 175 pieces of candy. I’m going to take most of it to work, otherwise I will eat it.

My son grew out of trick treating at a very early age. He really looked up to my younger brother, and when lil bro was done with costumes, so was my boy. Darn it.

Edit: Formatting

A factoid was originally defined to mean a false statement presented as a fact.[1][2] In colloquial speech, it is often used to mean a true but brief or trivial item of news or information (which can be less ambiguously described as a "factlet").

I just overheard a coworker saying “Oh, I would never try that in my life!”, in a discussion of food. (This was about consuming a steak cooked less than medium well). It made me wonder what life is like for those who refuse to try new food, especially those who refuse to try mundane things like fried shrimp.

Why limit yourself? It seems like such a closed-minded way to view food. Help me understand?

EDIT:

I wasn’t going to do this, but I’m tired of replying to people and will post this at the top.

The person that prompted this question is a close-minded piece of crap. He has no sensory issues, just a shitty mindset, with ignorance and prejudice on display with no shame. I have the pleasure of hearing his annoying shit every night.

The knee-jerk reactions I have received from people in this post have had me examine my own knee-jerk reactions, attributing malice to that which may be misunderstanding rather than bigotry or hatred. This is what I am taking away from this post. That even I should take a chill pill every now and again; it’s not all a tragedy.

I will not delete it, because there are some very thoughtful replies that explain different viewpoints, that people took time to type out. It would be disrespectful to them to do that.

Call me what you like. Don’t care. I will not be replying to any other replies.

It is a tale as old as time.

Is this thing still on Reddit? If so, tell me about it

Laziness. How about a TIL or FYI post in the community one was going to ask the easily answered question? Ya know, for others who may be wondering the same thing? Adding to the discourse of a community? Actually contributing something?

Naw. I’m going to have someone else do it for me. Can you back that up with studies or other primary sources? I’m having a hard time believing you.

Thaaaaanks!

My ex bought our son a ‘23 Camry XSE (I’m paying half obvs). During the first ride I got with him, the telltale sign of a warped rotor brought us some bumpy braking.

Today, he replaced the front rotors and pads on his own. I was there to tell him how to do, and let him struggle a bit so that he can know the frustration that can come with automotive maintenance or repair. Drivers side took almost 2 hours. When we moved to the passenger side, I joked “Man, you’ll knock this out in 20 minutes!”

He did it in 30.

The braking is buttery smooth, he gets to now say “I know how to work on cars”, and I get to stand back in awe of what this young man is capable of.

I am so got dang proud of that man. Saying “man” still doesn’t feel right, but, he shows me each day that he is becoming the man I know he can be.

UPDATE:

I hardly ever go outside without a hoodie on. I’m basically a ghost. Well, today, I got hot while we were outside working on the car, so I took it off. I even remarked to myself “the sun is right above us, not a cloud in the sky; beautiful”. When we came inside, 4 hours later, my arms were feeling a bit tender. I’d worked a 12 hour shift last night, and still have not slept, so I thought I was just sore…until I looked in the mirror. I am now become lobster, the harbinger of discomfort. It’s bad. I am not a smart person. Still, it was worth it. Next time I’ll put on some sunblock 😓😅😓

And democracy takes another agonal breath.

12 years and 8 months ago, my son started his academic journey. Today, he completed the first of what will be many chapters in his life. My pride in him cannot possibly be overstated. I’ve been home now for about an hour, and still I cannot stop crying the happiest of tears. My job—my dream—is to see him surpass me in every way. He’s doing a pretty damn good job so far!

I’d post pics, but yeah, no. Hell, I actually posted a pic on Facebook (so family could see). Only the third post I’ve made in the last 9 years lol. And of course, the other two posts are about my son as well.

Just wanted to tell the void of the internet that I am so proud of my son, and that I love him more than anything in this life.

…and I doubt I will change. I’ve not had a boyfriend really ever. I’ve never had a stranger give me a compliment. I’ve never had someone ask me out—and follow through with it. This is all to say that my views and habits rely solely on sex. I’m fully jaded. I resent those who can literally pick whichever guy they want. I resent my best friend for her relationship with her bf. She was not divorced yet, just separated. This guy walked up to her, asked for her number, and that was it. No effort needed. I’ve put so much effort, only to never see anything of promise.

I want things that I cannot have.

Quick edit: I do not want or need sympathy or whatever. I just need to get this off of my chest. I bottle all of this up, and feel even more isolated, and alone.

This is a fun one.

My mom lives about 11 hours drive away from me. She knows very little about computers, aside from Open Chrome -> Play FB games.

She told me that her M1 MBA was out of space constantly, and had a broken usb-c port, so she decided to buy a new one. Had I known of her intentions, I would have remoted in and figured it out.

I told her to send the computer to me, so I could take a crack at it.

Crazy part: The USB-C ports on the M1 MBA are replaceable. You can buy a replacement for them on eBay for like $8. So I pulled the USB-C board out, saw some corrosion, cleaned it, et viola! It works fine, didn’t even need to buy the replacement.

After removing all of the cured resin bits (did I forget to mention that she does resin art stuff, and apparently keeps the computer right next to her as she works on her stuff?) that were all over the computer, it doesn’t look half bad! This only took several hours…

The only thing I have to replace is the space bar key. I was a bit overzealous when I was trying to remove the two globs of resin from the key, and snapped its little clips that connect to the switches. Somehow the switches were not damaged, just the key itself, which I found from a seller on eBay for about $10. I thought that I was going to have to replace the whole top cover, which bummed me out (more e-waste 🙁)

This Mac will live on for years to come now!

I just read about Asahi Linux the other day. So of course I have to try it. This machine will be perfect to tinker around with in that way ☺️

ETA: Asahi Linux is so fucking cool. The install had a couple of points that might be difficult for the average user, but if you are installing this, you likely know what you’re doing already. Absolutely recommend checking out. I had some issues connecting to my WiFi network at first, but 10 minutes of troubleshooting got it working just fine. I’m not familiar with Fedora, which is actually kind of cool because this thing really just works

So I’ve received a paycheck, that is apparently dated for 10/23/2081. So that’s cool. Maybe I can get my holiday bonus 55.9 years early as well. 🤞🏻

Last night was the first night in more than a month that my best friend and I hung out. It was for her 40th birthday. For background, everyone but me in our friend group is Vietnamese. So when people started showing up, they spoke Vietnamese only. This is fine, I get it. They’d rather speak their mother tongue around me. Even if that means I don’t understand a word anyone is saying. I’ve brought this up to her, only for her to turn it around me as if somehow it is my fault for not joining a conversation that I have no frame of reference to. Whatever, it is what it is.

I’ve supported her through her divorce. I’ve been the only one to listen when she cried, to offer her an ear time and time again when she told me about how bad it was for her. To offer her support of what to do in the steps she needed to take to file and etcetera.

But tonight was too much.

They all showed up, and as usual talked only Vietnamese, which again I don’t understand. But the moment her motherfucking new boyfriend, an American guy, showed up, they all switched to English. It was like magic! Wow, suddenly everybody can talk English—it was amazing! So somehow when I am with the group, I need to be understanding because one or two people don’t speak English well. But when that motherfucker showed up, they all made the fucking effort to try, for him. He didn’t even try to know me past “what’s up?” Clearly she has not told him how close her and I were (or was, now). I feel betrayed. I feel hurt. And above all I feel like a fool for listening to her bullshit excuses why they talk the way they do, when some motherfucker she has known for two months shows up and it’s suddenly English. Fuck that. I’m tired of being bored, and I see the fucking hypocrisy now. I hope this is worth it for her.

I’m happy that she found someone who makes her happy. I am devastated that it comes at the cost of our friendship. He can eat shit and walk into traffic for all I care. I love her like the big sis she has been to me, but last night, I reached my motherfucking limit on bullshit I can deal with.

I’ve texted her as much, we’ll see what she has to say. Seriously, I feel so unimportant to a friend group that was somehow so happy to see me? If I was important at all, they would speak at least a little English, so I could understand, so I could join in on the conversation. But they don’t. Fuck all of them. I’d rather be alone than sit there for hours being bored again. My only wish is that no one parked behind me, so I could pretend to have a reason to go home, rather than staying the night at her brothers house. I fucking hate this. I wish that I had my old best friend back, the one who made sure I understood what was going on. The one that sat near me and made sure I was having a good time too. She doesn’t even try anymore. People change, it’s life. I just need to accept this and move on.

Happy fucking birthday, Mandy.

This is messy, contradicting, and wrong.

My best friend, who I will call Grace, is an amazing woman. She is caring, fiercely independent, and protective of those she loves. Breathtakingly beautiful, both inside and out. We all have our flaws, and I know hers and accept them as they are. We’ve been like sisters for 5 years now. Grace is a cis woman, and I am a trans woman.

She is in the process of leaving her husband of 20 years, which has been a long time coming. He’s a good man, but a shit husband to her. I’ve been there for her throughout this entire difficult period of her life. Nobody knows her like I do.

I date men exclusively, as does she. Women just don’t have the right…equipment for me. I do like and prefer only the male anatomy, or so I thought. But she is something special. All that said, I think I might be falling in love with her.

Grace is in such a vulnerable place right now. She just wants to be happy. I just want to see her smile, hear her goofy laugh. We have some of the best times together. We laugh and cry together. She’s been there for me in my darkest times, and I hers. We tell each other that we love each other, though for her I’m sure it is platonic. I don’t want to ruin any of this by telling her “I think I love you”.

I don’t think that I would be “enough” for her. I just don’t think she sees me that way. I live an hour away from her. I visit her as often as I can, which is usually on the weekends. We talk on the phone often, especially now with her going through the beginning stages of a divorce. Besides my son (who is my number 1), she is the person I care about most in this life. We send each other IG reels about how much we care about each other, as best friends. She told me she cried yesterday when I sent her a couple of pick me ups.

I’d be anything or anyone I needed to be to be with her. I’m not sure that we are sexually compatible, but that doesn’t matter so much to me, as I have almost no libido. Yes she is stunning, a 10/10 on any metric, but that’s not why I love her. I love her smile. I love her ability to turn anything into a positive and to encourage those around her to do the same. I could go on and on about the things about her that make me smile.

I’ve thought about it, and I think I would even de-transition if that’s what it would take for her to be with me. This is not something I take lightly, as transitioning was the hardest and toughest thing I’ve ever done. But if I did de-transition, I’d be afraid that she would think that this was all a lie just to get with her. I’m deathly afraid of losing her as my best friend, so I say nothing.

There was one time, maybe a year or so ago, when I was plastered, that I told her brother that I thought I loved her. He told me to stop talking, so I did. I pulled him aside a week or so later and did my best to convince him that I was just confused and that I didn’t actually like her like that. But I don’t think I am confused anymore. I feel like I see clearly, and it is tearing me apart. I’m fine loving from afar, as just having her in my life is enough for me. I tell her I gave up on dating, but that’s not the whole truth. I gave up on dating because there is no one else I can see myself with but her. All I want is for her to say “I think I love you too”. But I don’t think she does.

I really wish I didn’t love her like that. It would be so much easier to hear about the attention she receives from guys at the gym or socially. But I am happy to carry on as her best friend, if that means I have her in my life.

I don’t know what to do. I mean, I think I do know what to do: remain her closest confidant and be happy for that.

I don’t know why I’m posting this. I guess I just need someone, somewhere to know this. This one sided love is enough for me I guess.

Help

ETA: I can’t help but feel like I am betraying her by feeling the way I do. I feel like a liar.

ETA, Again: Just to be clear, I would never take advantage of her current situation in an attempt to get with her. That would be gross and creepy. I have too much respect for her to even entertain the idea. She is my best friend, after all. Even though I feel the way I do, I would never do such a sleazy thing.

Thank you all for your thoughtful, and at times, blunt responses. They have helped me confirm that confessing is not the way.

Please keep them coming, I appreciate the perspective.

Honestly, I think just typing this out to internet strangers has been cathartic, as I don’t have anyone in my life to share this with that would not get around back to her. Sharing this deeply personal situation I am in has helped me think about it in ways that I really had not thought of before.