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[–] 157 points 1 day ago (24 children)

If the marriage is sexually exclusive, why would you care? If the marriage was open, why would you care? If you're worried about infidelity, then what gender they might choose still seems like a trivial issue.

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  • [–] 15 points 18 hours ago

    Pretty much the stance I had with an ex-girlfriend who was bi. I didn't care who she slept with before me or who she slept with after me, so long as she wasn't sleeping with someone else while we were together.

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  • [–] 43 points 1 day ago (8 children)

    Sexuality seems like a thing to have discussed before you arrange a marriage.

    Its different if someone has not realized or accepted their queerness and comes out years later. But right after the honeymoon feels nasty. Its the kind of move a manipulator uses, omit telling information that could cause others to make different choices then those that align.

    I’d wonder what other secrets there are.

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  • [–] 30 points 23 hours ago

    There’s a stigma around bisexuals, that they are promiscuous. I did not tell my ex that I was bi at all, because she and I were exclusive the whole time we were together. It was years after our divorce that I came out as trans.

    I was so worried that she would have rejected me if she knew that about me. I was happy with our life we had together, and I never strayed, so why should I have to disclose that if I don’t want to?

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  • [–] 13 points 23 hours ago (1 child)

    If your partner not being 100% hetero is a dealbreaker for someone they should maybe ask about it before marriage? Although in this case it wouldn’t have helped, since the sender says her husband says he didn’t know until then (while calling him a liar). Sometimes people don’t understand their sexuality until later in life, I dunno what to tell you.

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  • [–] 2 points 17 hours ago

    If its a dealbreaker then it feels like a red flag. Do you want to spend your life with a person that doesnt accept you fully as you are?

    Youre also supposed to kinds have figured out yourself by the time of marriage. Ofc people can be stuck in the closet for years but just after the honeymoon?

    I guess its possible but what events even aspired to suddenly be so sure?

    Slightly related i have a theory that all mammals are biosexual by nature with a common hetero preference on top. Its well studied in animals, there are also infinite tales of life with gender separation (monks, soldiers, prison). For many hetero, its not gay if there are no women available.

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  • [–] 5 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

    I don't understand what difference there is for the wife, someone please explain to me why she(or anyone!) would care about her husband being bisexual vs hetero.

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  • [–] 5 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

    The fact itself shouldn’t.

    Not being open about yourself till just after marriage is what’s bothering.

    Granted marriage culture has changed alot but surely the idea is still to unite with someone for hopefully the rest of their life.

    If one has reservations and arent comfortable to be open about things that is valid but then work on that before devoting yourself to another.

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  • [–] 3 points 14 hours ago* (1 child)

    You make it sound easy, it's often something you are not able to understand easly you cannot just "work on that before devoting yourself" if you do not know about you being that in principle. Also, talking about is often harder than it seems (especially because bisexuals are also very judged in the LGBT community itself), i have some bisexual friends and, oh man how many times i heard them not being sure anymore if they were actually bisexual or not, some even thought they were pretending (they were not)

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  • [–] 2 points 14 hours ago

    Of course, it’s not easy, but so is marriage.

    i have a theory that actually bisexuality is the default for mammals and heterosexual relationships a common general preference. I get its confusing for some but what depends is how they personaly perceive their own attractions.

    If they weren’t sure and over many years they started to question their own sexuality its a different story but thats not this one.

    What changed in a honeymoons worth of time to go from “not questioning their sexuality” to “perceiving themselves as bisexual”

    Let me put it this way, if my partner felt uncomfortable telling me something they struggle with. Than i would perceive that as a personal failure. Because trusting eachother to tackle life together is the whole point of the ceremony.

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  • [+] -15 points 21 hours ago (12 children)

    It does hurt the odds though, double the chances to cheat.

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  • [–] 13 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

    If the only reason you don't cheat is because of the lack of opportunities...... Then you're not just a bad person, but you're probably ugly as fuck as well.

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  • [–] -3 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

    Do you think such people don't exist?

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  • [–] 3 points 14 hours ago (6 children)

    Please rethink the math here. Consider actual human population.

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  • [–] -2 points 14 hours ago (5 children)
  • [–] 3 points 13 hours ago (4 children)

    Imagine a group of 10 people. 5 men, 5 women. There's one bisexual guy who's in a relationship with a woman. Realistically, how many people can he cheat with?

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  • [–] -3 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

    One is plenty, I don't think many people Mac or their free time in creating, it's more opportunistic.

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  • [–] 1 point 17 minutes ago

    I don't think many people Mac or their free time in creating, it's more opportunistic.

    I wanted to ask if you really think hordes of heterosexual dudes are eager to fuck a bisexual man, but now I see this would be like trying to squeeze water from a stone.

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  • [–] 1 point 9 hours ago (1 child)

    If one is plenty, it says more about the person regardless of their sexuality than it does of any sexuality itself

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  • [–] 1 point 6 hours ago

    I mean that once you cheat with one person that counts as cheating, and is probably the likely outcome (apart from not cheating at all), unless you're super efficient and can get round to lots of people or they all work on different oil rigs or something.

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  • [–] 116 points 23 hours ago (3 children)

    "Hey I'm still attracted to you but I also find dudes hot."

    "I MUST INFORM THE WASHINGTON POST!"

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  • [–] 35 points 1 day ago* (1 child)
  • [–] 26 points 13 hours ago

    So? He's made a commitment to be with you alone. If he's a decent man, then there's nothing to worry about. It's not like straight men have never cheated on their partners.

    Although the fact that this subject never was broached prior to you getting hitched is somewhat concerning.

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  • [–] 25 points 1 day ago (2 children)

    Divorce your gym, hit your lawyer, and delete your Facebook because billionaires suck.

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  • [–] 21 points 10 hours ago

    A lot of confused people in this thread wondering why they should care.

    The intention is to keep eating away at the rights of anyone not straight, male, white, and Christian. All the major papers are on board with anti-trans genocide. They have been successful enough to broaden their attacks. This is the "just asking questions" phase.

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  • [–] 15 points 7 hours ago*

    Anything but coverage on what's going on in Gaza, Sudan, or Congo

    Very telling and insulting that this pointless bullshit is what they choose to publish, out of all things

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  • [–] 27 points 18 hours ago (13 children)

    Why would that matter? If he's exclusively committed to you then what's the issue?

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  • [+] -34 points 16 hours ago (12 children)

    Imho, the bisexuality wouldn't be the issue. The fact that one partner was not aware of the sexual orientation of the married, on paper lifelong partner, is. Bisexuality, in contrast to pansexuality, has a focus on the, well ... sex of the partner. The bisexual duality can not be satisfied by the binarity of one partner, leaving a lot of space for unhappiness, uncertainty and confusion, in a state where certainly might have been exspected.

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  • [–] 37 points 16 hours ago (8 children)

    The bisexual duality can not be satisfied by the binarity of one partner, leaving a lot of space for unhappiness, uncertainty and confusion, in a state where certainly might have been exspected.

    This is an extremely common and extremely silly take. Bi folk aren't any more or less "satisfied" in a relationship than mono folk are. People (bi or otherwise) betray their partnership commitments all the time, but for whatever reason bisexuality seems to get conflated with infidelity / general profligacy. It's an ugly and inaccurate stereotype.

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  • [+] -16 points 13 hours ago (7 children)

    Some reason? Come on, not that complicated if you put yourself in a normal person head.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

    If you don't have an actual point to make, why are you even speaking up?

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  • [–] 32 points 13 hours ago*

    Lack of communication being a problem - sure. But you're conflating a few things.

    1. In modern terms, bisexuality and pansexuality are interchangeable, the terms have evolved over the years and most of the community rejects the old distinction.
    2. "The bisexual duality cannot be satisfied by the binarity of one partner" is the stupidest thing ive ever heard. They are bi, meaning their attraction applies to both (or more) genders. They aren't in heat with an unquenchable lust for sex with multiple genders. Someone can have a preference for brunettes and redheads and marry a redhead and not be "unsatisfied". The problem with closeted gay people marrying into a straight relationship is that they are denying their own sexuality, and lying to themselves. Bisexual people are not lying to themselves. They are attracted to their spouse. There is no confusion.
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  • [–] 21 points 18 hours ago

    Obviously the husband made a mistake, you tell them in the dating phase so the trash takes itself out instead of tricking you into believing it's a real person.

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  • [–] 6 points 12 hours ago

    You're all assuming that she's angry about it.

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  • [–] 5 points 8 hours ago

    Classic Washington Post!

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  • [–] 4 points 17 hours ago
    [–] 4 points 11 hours ago

    And that makes her no-sexual or what?

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  • [–] 3 points 13 hours ago

    JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!!!!

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  • [–] 3 points 11 hours ago (2 children)
  • [–] 5 points 23 hours ago

    The bisexuality doesn’t bother me. It’s the poor communication. Plus, now there are major trust issues.

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  • [–] 10 points 1 day ago* (1 child)

    Saying so after the wedding is a douche move. He probably should have mentioned it earlier in the relationship.

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