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[+] -37 points 1 day ago (20 children)

Imho, the bisexuality wouldn't be the issue. The fact that one partner was not aware of the sexual orientation of the married, on paper lifelong partner, is. Bisexuality, in contrast to pansexuality, has a focus on the, well ... sex of the partner. The bisexual duality can not be satisfied by the binarity of one partner, leaving a lot of space for unhappiness, uncertainty and confusion, in a state where certainly might have been exspected.

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  • [–] 39 points 1 day ago (15 children)

    The bisexual duality can not be satisfied by the binarity of one partner, leaving a lot of space for unhappiness, uncertainty and confusion, in a state where certainly might have been exspected.

    This is an extremely common and extremely silly take. Bi folk aren't any more or less "satisfied" in a relationship than mono folk are. People (bi or otherwise) betray their partnership commitments all the time, but for whatever reason bisexuality seems to get conflated with infidelity / general profligacy. It's an ugly and inaccurate stereotype.

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  • [+] -16 points 21 hours ago (14 children)

    Some reason? Come on, not that complicated if you put yourself in a normal person head.

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  • [–] 4 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

    If you don't have an actual point to make, why are you even speaking up?

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  • [–] 0 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

    It's just am excerise in putting yourself in others shoes, why don't you take your own advice?

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  • [–] 2 points 10 hours ago (5 children)

    normal person

    Sure, I can do that. quick question, by "normal" do you mean someone who has median characteristics across the board, or are you one of those people who define normal by their own tastes and experiences?

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  • [–] -1 points 5 hours ago (4 children)

    Well you clearly know what I meant so you aren't stupid, so maybe willfully ignorant?

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  • [–] 1 point 5 hours ago (3 children)

    I am neither, and I also don't know what you meant, which is my point. Sometimes I ask pointed questions to demonstrate a flaw in the framing of a proposition. In this case, it's that there's no such thing as an objectively "normal person", that phrase is meaningless outside of a particular frame of reference, and I can't put myself in the mind of a "normal person" without knowing what the frame of reference is. Which would imply that maybe it's a more complicated situation than you seem to think.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 hours ago (2 children)

    No, you're just disingenuously complicating it. You made my point for me but then instantly walked it back. Again, proving you're probably the latter.

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  • [–] 37 points 21 hours ago* (1 child)

    Lack of communication being a problem - sure. But you're conflating a few things.

    1. In modern terms, bisexuality and pansexuality are interchangeable, the terms have evolved over the years and most of the community rejects the old distinction.
    2. "The bisexual duality cannot be satisfied by the binarity of one partner" is the stupidest thing ive ever heard. They are bi, meaning their attraction applies to both (or more) genders. They aren't in heat with an unquenchable lust for sex with multiple genders. Someone can have a preference for brunettes and redheads and marry a redhead and not be "unsatisfied". The problem with closeted gay people marrying into a straight relationship is that they are denying their own sexuality, and lying to themselves. Bisexual people are not lying to themselves. They are attracted to their spouse. There is no confusion.
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  • [–] 1 point 3 hours ago

    Seriously. I'm bi. Like, objectively undeniably bi. I've had cis partners of both sexes. I've had long-term relationships with both. I'm not one of those people that's bi on paper but has only ever dated one sex or gender.

    And yet, I'm happily married to my husband. We're in a fully monogamous, exclusive, committed relationship. Been married for eight years. I said "til death do us part," and I meant it! Still do.

    Being bi just means you're attracted to more than one sex or gender. The idea that I would ever tell my partner something like, "well you see, there are just some physical needs that you as a man are incapable of meeting..." is just a porn fantasy. I don't have some irresistible need to be with both men and women. I just find some people attractive regardless of gender.

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