On the planet Ikra, the Democratic Republic of Zolphir (DRZ) boasts the most military might.

The DRZ, with their Greenlight Legion, is officially stated to have three noble principles: safety on every border, freedom for the helpless, and innovation beyond the flesh.

The Greenlight Legion is made up of volunteer troops and indentured servants who gave their bodies to the machine; the machine that makes weapons out of their bodies.

The greenlights, with their weapons ready, march in drone-like fashion and employ a strength through numbers tactic, painting the enemy's horizon green from the glow of their visors.

Clad in comfortable robes with a simple protective vest, the officers rarely see frontline combat alongside infantries. They are mostly found giving orders from either the command bridge of an elite vehicle or a settlement outpost. Whether they're a captain or an admiral, they wear standardized uniforms that keep their exact ranks classified. This means that when targeting officers, even one still standing could turn out to be the one that has the most warfare at their disposal. Closely observing their patterns and commanding signals is strongly advised before deciding who to take out first.

Within the cockpits of trucks, tanks, turrets, drone transports, or sand trains, the driver unit operates any ground assault machinery. Although they work closely with infantry and often see frontline battle, their armor is among the cheapest and least comfortable in the ranks. It is built only to survive basic crashes, the crudely-welded helmet's protection being especially poor. A driver is typically expected to use their vehicle as their protection, and to remain in it at all times, even if the air inside it heats up. Being sent to drive the tank is often a punishment given to troops that perform poorly on foot. What started as vastly underfunded safety and comfort inside vehicles is now a discipline that officers swear by as motivation for soldiers to power through even the least bearable terrain.

And anytime it doesn't work, it should be called Crapple pay

Kind of like the company

I cannot tell you how many times I've made a noise on the toilet and been so embarrassed that I actually end up waiting for anyone who heard it to leave, just so I can stay anonymous

I don't think there will be anyone who objects to this. There is nothing in a bathroom worth listening to. Nobody socializes in a bathroom. It's as quiet as a library, and any bodily noise completely gives you away

Please just add background music to bathrooms. Even with quiet background music, you could at least strategically defecate to the tempo to make it sound like it's part of the song

I hate public bathrooms, please make them bearable

What are dogs gonna do, complain in human language that they don't taste like pumpkin or cookies and cream?

There's no scenario where a reasonable and normal human being can ever prove or disprove the advertised flavor of dog treats. And if you do? Congratulations you fucking weirdo, yeah maybe they lied but YOU put a dog treat in your mouth. You lose by default, bro

All it needs is themed packaging, a vague colorful tint, and boom it's now whatever flavor you say it is. If anyone objects, "ah, nope. They just taste bad to you because you're not a dog"

It's all such silly goosery

This shall be the largest ever compilation of all blue dog appearances ever

I'm serious, it's a genuine life hack

(In an online debate and you get called out for moving the goalposts, but it happened to be about ghosts)
"Wasn't me, a ghost moved them!"

You don't have to admit you're wrong. Just say something funny and walk away

And you probably never will, because anything a ghost could do to haunt traffic would just get blamed on "asshole drivers"

Nobody ever asks "if I'm deaf, then what does it sound like?" because EVERYONE already knows what it's like to not hear anything. Same for taste, for going numb, we all experience lapses in those senses

It's sight that seems to be the exception. No one who hasn't personally experienced blindness can actually imagine what blindness is like. Even as I roll my eyes to the left and say "me not being able to see what's on my right is what being blind is like" still doesn't satisfy me because, well, I just plain can't see that. And that's the point. My brain just can't comprehend my entire vision being like that. Eyesight is so incredibly mind boggling to think about losing, that it actually tests the limits of my imagination.

And this is why eyesight is truly the most important sense. We always see something, even if it's just darkness, there's never a time that our eyes aren't working hard to show us what's in front of us