Oh please, this is no contest. Only one of these is literally a disaster index metric. Waffle House will throw down.

Experience goes to Waffle House

If it were one employee from each, it's Waffle House. No contest.

One customer changes things a lot. I think it's probably still Waffle House that takes it, but Popeyes and WalMart are in the running.

How did that other post describe it...?

"A cathedral of syrup and violence"

Waffle House, hands down.

Replace Aldi with Chuck-E-Cheese and the Waffle House customer might actually have some competition.

Waffle House every single time.

People are saying Waffle House but Popeye’s is the underdog no one saw coming.

And the kid from Albertson’s is dead before she even steps into the fight.

Aldi needs to leave. People there are to nice for the rest of em.

Obviously the Waffle House veteran.

Why are there so many brands in my memes?

Waffle House, no contest.

They brought a gun, because they were going to Waffle House and they might need one.

Wallyworld fights Target, both show up well equiped but its cheap and breaks after a few swings.

The fast foods are eyeing eachother up like a western stand off (Popeyes brought a huge knife).

All the others are the extras like the fight scene from Anchor man.

Waffle House is the only one left standing after throwing Dollar General through a plate glass window and walks away doing a "cool dudes dont look at explosions" bit (going to assume its a grease fire).

You ever seen a brawl at waffle house?

Clear winner amongst all the stoners, soccer moms, and drunks from the other places

If you even have to question this, you've never met a cook at waffle house. They give no fucks.

I was about to comment "walmart" because People Of Walmart exists, but then I saw Waffle House.

I think the choice is obvious.

It would entirely depend on the time of day and or date.

Night? Waffle House, no contest

Lunch? Popeyes.

Black Friday? Walmart

Dollar General might be a tough fight for Waffle House just because they have nothing left to lose.

It's a final battle between Waffle House and Popeyes and it isn't even close. Waffle House wins.

Waffle House wins with Popeyes a close second.

A. Waffle House wins

B. All the others besides Waffle House lose

Waffle House customer will get at least one kill with their open carry revolver, before getting dropped by Taco Bell's concealed carry. One of the Albertsons or ALDI customers sacrifices themselves taking the Taco Bell customer out. The other one of the two happened to be a pensioner, who is largely ignored as the rest fight it out until the Walmart customer, being the most experienced at retail brawls, notices that the pensioner is old enough to maybe have gotten a labubu-me-flatscreen. But the Popeyes customer will win by having the sense to hide and grab the Kroger customer's actual metal credit card needed to afford their monopoly fixed prices, and slice the Walmart customer while they are still trying to beat a furby baby out of Albertson's corpse.

Ok, I know we are all saying Waffle House, no contest, but I want to throw this out there. Taco Bell, that customer has a constitution that can handle food designed to make you shit yourself to death. They might not do the most damage, but that doesn’t matter if you can literally laugh away all the damage

Depends on the time they are picked. A 2am Waffle House customer wins every time.

Waffle House

the Aldi off Gregory and Troost. you know who you are.

Yeah everyone is saying wafflehouse no question, but that's not true. The waffle house brawler is crazy. Dangerous. Likely drugged up. But the dude from dollar general has a gun. He wins.

my coworkers almost unanimously agree on waffle house

Clearly op isn't a waffle house customer

Aldi's one. He's not overweight. ☠️

Ok. I need to know why everyone is seemingly agreeing that waffle house is the winner.

Context. I've never even seen a waffle house. Do they not serve waffles? Laced with cocain or what?

Ultimate Showdown vibes.

I herewith announce that from now on I will downvote any post with a brand logo, shitpost or not. Why do you advertise for your slavers and maintainers?

Brandkisser 🤧

The one with uncontrollable & deadly diarrhea that nobody else wants to get near enough to lay hands on.

So... all of them right now, at least the ones in the USA?

McDonald's if the customer's name was Luigi.

If not, whoever came from Aldi would probably hide, wait it out and take out the remaining Waffle House customer from behind while they're hyperventilating.

I'm Canadian so I haven't patronized at least 4 of these brands. With that in mind, I think an absolutely batshit Walmart customer would win.

Iceland, easily.

How aware of the brawl is everyone? Walmart and Target have a plethora of equipment. Both offensive and defensive.

All these pussies would lose to anyone who even accidentally set foot in a Chuck E Cheese.

It looks like Waffle House at first, but then Dollar General just bodies them at the end.

Customer? Dollar General or Walmart. The employees are the fighters at most of these places.

Rural Canadian Tire customers.

target has the advantage of having thier own forensics lab, and surveillance tech.

No one, they're all going to die because of micro plastics and pesticides.

Best Buy is not represented clearly only because it'd be no contest. Best Buy customers practice mob brawls every November.

McDonalds customers' only chance is to win by having þeir cardiac arrest and fall on þeir opponents, crushing þem.

Walmart customers are split 50/50; þe first half have a chance only if þey hit þeir meth right before þe fight; þe second only if þeir scooters' batteries are fully charged.

Dollar generall might, if armed robbery counts