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[–] 6 points 8 months ago

"Crisis"

How do we know this rag has nothing of value to publish? By pulling out this story every Olympics since about 1990.

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  • [–] 3 points 8 months ago

    Which nation is Hookup Georg representing?

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  • 78 comments in c/nottheonion@lemmy.world view that post
    [–] 137 points 8 months ago (6 children)

    While I don't doubt many athletes are being quite active.
    I'd also believe it's a joke at this point for them to all take as many as they can no matter if they intend to use them or not.

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  • [–] 46 points 8 months ago (2 children)

    There was an article a few years ago where a few athletes were interviewed anonymously IIRC. It's a fuckfest. You put a lot of people in peak physical shape together, what are you expecting?

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  • [–] 24 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    Also people who by and large havent been out living wild social lives for quite a while. Laser beam focused on one goal. Once you have competed, one way or another the pressure is off and you are surrounded by people who are in the exact same position.

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  • [–] 77 points 8 months ago (8 children)

    That's less than 4 per athlete, not sure why they thought that would be enough.

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  • [–] 11 points 8 months ago (6 children)

    Per athlete or pair of athletes? I'm too lazy to Google

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  • [–] 25 points 8 months ago* (5 children)

    Per athlete. It's about 6 and a half per male athlete.

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  • [–] -1 points 8 months ago (2 children)

    Why do you specify "male" athlete?

    Unless being used for onanism, it's one condom per couple, although trios and other combos, and non penetrative sex probably fudge the math a little).

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  • [–] 8 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    Because we have statistics for how many male olympians are there, but no stats for how many couples are there. It's worth remembering that olympians don't have to shack up with other olympians. Many of them brought partners, and I would bet at least a few are asexual.

    My thought was "per olympian penis", but I admit it doesn't account for non-olympian penises.

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  • [–] 72 points 8 months ago (16 children)

    You want more olympians, this is how you get more olympians.

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  • [–] 15 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (13 children)

    this is how you get more olympians.

    If enough people are in the market, have egg or sperm donor companies call people who medal.

    considers

    Looking down the road, because my expectation is that sooner or later, we're going to be doing human genetic engineering, a company getting Olympian genetic material like that might be


    as long as they can operate in a legal jurisdiction that doesn't prohibit human genetic engineering


    better off just calling up medalists and licensing their DNA. I don't think that you can copyright DNA under current US case law, though it might be patentable.

    investigates

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copyright_status_of_genetic_sequences

    As of 2016, genetic sequences were not recognized as copyrightable subject matter by any jurisdiction.[3] The United States Copyright Office's position is that "DNA sequences and other genetic, biological, or chemical substances or compounds, regardless of whether they are man-made or produced by nature," are ideas, systems, or discoveries rather than copyrightable works of authorship.[15]: 23 

    You might not need to copyright or patent it, though, if you can just keep the changes you make secret. I mean, you get sperm/egg from Random Person, you do your proprietary modifications, you generate an embryo, you implant. I'm not sure how hard it would be for some other company to reverse-engineer the changes by looking at people's DNA relative to background noise in the DNA.

    searches

    https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33095042/

    A large majority of countries (96 out of 106) surveyed have policy documents-legislation, regulations, guidelines, codes, and international treaties-relevant to the use of genome editing to modify early-stage human embryos, gametes, or their precursor cells. Most of these 96 countries do not have policies that specifically address the use of genetically modified in vitro embryos in laboratory research (germline genome editing); of those that do, 23 prohibit this research and 11 explicitly permit it. Seventy-five of the 96 countries prohibit the use of genetically modified in vitro embryos to initiate a pregnancy (heritable genome editing). Five of these 75 countries provide exceptions to their prohibitions. No country explicitly permits heritable human genome editing.

    The thing is that in practice, if you want in vitro implantation, you can probably just travel abroad to a jurisdiction that doesn't prohibit it, unless countries assert extraterritorial jurisdiction that attaches to their citizens. If someone wants an Olympianized kid, I imagine that traveling abroad isn't that much additional barrier. Extraterrorial jurisdiction exists, but it is very rare; prohibitions on child sex tourism are one notable example that a number of countries do.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraterritorial_jurisdiction

    EDIT: Replaced the text and citation for the legal overview, as it looks like the earlier link was to a spam site that copied it.

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  • [+] 16 points 8 months ago (8 children)
  • [–] 7 points 8 months ago (6 children)

    I have a feeling it's gonna be a long road, getting from here to there with eugenics. I'd much rather use technology to overcome our limitations.

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  • [–] 3 points 8 months ago (5 children)

    I would like to overcome my limitations in this fashion. Aside from my tongue and naughty bits, the human body doesn't offer me any experience that I enjoy.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago (1 child)

    Wishing to become just a brain in a robot body sadly misunderstands the totality of the human body. It’s been shown that gut biome affects mental health, for example.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago

    One would assume that a robotic body would have devices and supplement cartridges for that, automatically monitored and regulated. The human body is a machine - but a robotic version would be actually optimally designed, rather than an endless variety of useful accidents. Even better, you can move the brain into different vessel shapes, each built for a particular purpose.

    In any case, converting a fleshy brain's memories into an computerized format would be preferable. Unfortunately, I suspect that is hard to pull off without being lossy or fatal.

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  • [–] 3 points 8 months ago

    Eugenics have a bad rep since they were popularized by nazis. But hey - animal rights and identification documents were also initially nazi ideas and they gained traction.

    I just hope, that when eugenics come back to public light again, they will come out of EU (regulated to hell and back) instead of USA or China. It's one thing to eliminate genetic diseases or such, but completely another thing with steering people into some dystopian genetic hellhole.

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  • [–] 4 points 8 months ago (2 children)

    Sir, we did it, we got Olympian sperm!

    Excellent, what sport?

    Shot put 

    Fuck. 

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  • [–] 50 points 8 months ago (4 children)

    I don’t see why condom companies aren’t shipping in truckloads for free. You can’t beat that kind of publicity. L

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  • [–] 16 points 8 months ago (2 children)

    This reads like the startn of Dr Seuss erotica

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  • [–] 23 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 child)

    I found myself in Italy
    They said we could have condoms free
    All partnered up by two or three
    Everyone partook with glee
    But now none are left for me

    So hearken friends
    My luck portends
    This story ends
    For me unfortunately

    I skied directly into a tree
    Then rolled the dice in the dormitory
    It now burns badly when I pee
    I hope my mom is proud of me
    I only brought home an STD

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  • [–] 43 points 8 months ago

    Young, fit and healthy athletes, following intense build up and cumulative training are ready to peak explosively, just about now.

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  • [–] 43 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (5 children)

    If I was an athlete and there were condoms with Olympic logo branding getting handed out, I would SO hoard them for souvenirs. Can you imagine?

    They're in Italy. There are farmacie all over the place. They can get store-brand ones.

    Edit: Yup. Olympic Games branding. Goes in the scrapbook album. Unused, mind you.

    Edit 2: https://lemmy.world/post/43193842

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  • [–] 12 points 8 months ago (2 children)

    Plus they're officially branded, not some knockoff. It would be an amazing gag gift.

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  • [–] 84 points 8 months ago (4 children)

    In France, they gave 300k condoms. That's 30x the amount they gave here. And they used them all in France, how long the fuck did they think those 10k would last?

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  • [–] 44 points 8 months ago (2 children)

    For what it's worth, there are more people at the summer Olympics than the winter ones (~10,500 in Paris and ~2,900 at Milan according to Wikipedia) but still one would think there should at least be 1/4 as much if they're just looking at athlete numbers alone.

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  • [–] 30 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    10k for 20 days of olympic and for 3k athletes that is 10k * 2 / 20 / 3k = 1/3 of a condom per couple per day, that sounds down right reasonable for a bunch of young, perfectly shaped teenagers constantly in celebration mode.

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  • [–] 22 points 8 months ago (4 children)

    Best souvenir going. But also a lot of young people in peak physical condition. As someone I know commented "everyone is 10/10 from the neck down."

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  • [–] [S] 11 points 8 months ago (3 children)

    And those people have higher than average testosterone, so they're hornier. Apparently Olympic Village is a small orgy, hence all the condoms.

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  • [–] 3 points 8 months ago (2 children)

    There are 3000 people there. That's no small orgy.

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  • [–] 35 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    Doesn’t this happen virtually every year?

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  • [–] 13 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    All because of Jimmy fucksalot and his massive cock

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  • [–] 6 points 8 months ago

    And I find condoms past the expiration date.

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  • [–] 10 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    10'000 is super low, I remember hearing about one or two hundred thousand in recent years. I guess that was regular and not winter, but still. No wonder they ran out.

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  • [–] 2 points 8 months ago

    No problem, they can get fingered by the Canadians

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  • [–] 2 points 8 months ago

    I wonder why they don't carry some from home lol

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago

    You can only do missionary in Italia! Condom is ungodly.

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  • [+] -22 points 8 months ago (10 children)

    It's ok. They have AIDS drugs now and dudes can't get pregnant

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  • [–] 21 points 8 months ago (6 children)

    You think there are no female athletes?

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  • [–] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (5 children)

    I'm astounded so many of you cannot pick up the sarcasm in, "it's okay to get AIDS" and "women what?"

    At times, I swear the levels of acumen here flirt with Facebook's.

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  • [–] 5 points 8 months ago (3 children)

    I’m astounded you’d assume the average sarcasm detection acuity would be much different here than on Facebook.

    There’s no correlation between having a federated account and high sarcasm detection success. Poe’s law wasn’t developed out of sheer boredom.

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  • [–] 4 points 8 months ago* (2 children)

    It has nothing to do with one's ability to detect text tone better than another cohort. It is simply using the brain for a split second to evaluate which is more likely; a pro-AIDS misogynistic Lemmy user, or someone taking the piss on the fact Lemmy users are much the opposite.

    It is clearly "Amiright, guys?" character humour and really only requires some minimal effort to realise that.

    Though, at this point it really doesn't matter as those that think for themselves by looking at what others thought (the vote counters) will contribute by following suit.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago

    which is more likely; a pro-AIDS misogynistic Lemmy user, or someone taking the piss on the fact Lemmy users are much the opposite.

    I've been seeing users of a mgtow instance, so the first option really isn't that unlikely.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago (2 children)

    These are athletes in top condition. There are probably less STDs than the general population.

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  • [+] -7 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    Check who took them. Could be people from poorer countries, where condoms are expensive.

    Could be random religious zealots who are envious (or worse) of people actually heaving sex.

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