I couldn't believe my eyes seeing this advice to teach young boys to hit girls so as to restore the boys' self esteem and pride.
This is the kind of toxic belief that shouldn't be allowed to proliferate here and yet is embraced with open arms by other users.
That boys can only regain their pride and self esteem by hitting girls leads directly to more violence against women and girls.
Sounds a lot more like fighting back and standing up for themself than "hitting girls", no? I don't know what the original post is, but if he was subjected to physical violence then responding with physical violence isn't unreasonable. The same would be true if the genders were swapped.
With that said, the emphasis on about pride is odd... I can't tell if they're speaking from personal experience or if it's some chud toxic masculinity expectation thing. In either case, that's very flawed. The idea that his self-esteem has to be "repaired" through having a capacity for violence is what I take issue with the most.
Self defense is about protecting yourself and others, not about making you feel strong or improve your self-esteem. That's some typical male power fantasy bullshit. Also bullying shouldn't damage self-esteem: it's a reflection on the bully, not the person they're bullying; and that perspective needs to be taught. There's a difference between "a bad thing happened to me", and "I deserved the bad thing because I'm me;" the damage to self-esteem happens from the latter, the former isn't a remark of character at all: merely a statement of fact. There's also something in here about "victimhood" being stigmatized similarly, but I've rambled enough.
Don't know the context here, but to me it looks like that comment simply suggests teaching self defense to a victim of physical violence. Knowing some self defense is generally a good idea, especially if someone has a higher risk / history of being physically attacked. And if your attacker is a woman of course you still need to defend yourself.
That's not the same as teaching boys to hit girls, and I don't think that's the point the comment was trying to make.
Another point I think I have to make: hitting back is not the same as self defense, it is retaliation, and not something we should teach children.
Lemmy does have a misogyny problem, but I don't think this is part of it. The advice would have been the same if the bully were a boy.
Gender is a concept that kids are just learning about at that age. I don’t read this as a “fix your problems by hitting girls” and I don’t think that’s the message that would be received. The received message, by a 4 year old, is “hitting people is ok” and that’s unacceptable.
Any self defence trainer will make it clear that it’s not acceptable to hit anyone who isn’t a threat or consenting.
Lemmy has a huge population that has a hard-on for violence in general.
Crazy "debate". I rarely see people uphold those kinds of positions. Sure, let the kids fight like in some kind of medieval rooster fight and see who comes out on top. That's probably gonna solve the underlying issue?!???? I don't think so.
(Mental. The adults should cheer for him being more clever than that. And they should help him and make it stop. Mostly because they're the adults in the situation. Especially the ones with a background in education and handling/teaching kids.)
"Vengeance is mine" sayeth little Timmy. /s
It does have a wider problem. But IMO Not so much on this comment but more the general leery style posts that are frequent and upvoted.
I notice a lot more memes or ‘question’ that are angled slightly more towards sexualising or hating women, followed by jokey comments. Women are used it it, it registers, but it’s slight so it’s tolerated (because that’s life as a female…don’t rock the boat).
A majority of the Men do a reasonable job at calling it out here but only usually when it’s more blatant or obvious. The fact the kinda posts are upvoted and seem to be increasing disheartening.
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