velma comments on Lemmy has a sexism problem

Lemmy has a sexism problem (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 week ago by velma@sh.itjust.works to c/feminism@lemmy.world

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I couldn't believe my eyes seeing this advice to teach young boys to hit girls so as to restore the boys' self esteem and pride.

This is the kind of toxic belief that shouldn't be allowed to proliferate here and yet is embraced with open arms by other users.

That boys can only regain their pride and self esteem by hitting girls leads directly to more violence against women and girls.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works [S] -1 points 1 week ago (9 children)

Don't change your tune now. We can see your other comments clearly supporting teaching children to hit back. You even compared these 5 year olds to Palestinians fighting back against Israel.

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[–] Uruanna@lemmy.world 1 point 1 week ago (8 children)

We can see your other comments clearly supporting teaching children to hit back.

I said "hitting back means getting hit first", and then I talked about defending yourself when you talked about unnecessary violence. You quote the part calling for both self defense and hitting back and you're focusing on the hitting back part calling it unnecessary violence. You are ignoring half the sentence you quoted, I'm pointing out the part you tossed away. I'm sure you can see my other comment explaining what the karate classes will do in opposition to what the person quoted thinks, I'm not changing anything.

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[–] SarahValentine@pawb.social 1 point 1 week ago (5 children)

You're departing from the thing we're actually talking about to try and justify your point of view, and we're not letting you drag it off that way. The person who is pictured in the OP is not encouraging someone to take karate lessons and learn peaceful means of self defense or self discipline. They are suggesting a kindergartner be taught to hit back. That is the thing that was said and that is what we're discussing. Deal with that or just stop replying.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works [S] 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I quite enjoy running into your comments. I know we haven't always agreed in the past on some small things, but I do very much view you as an ally around here <3

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[–] SarahValentine@pawb.social 0 points 1 week ago* (1 child)

To be honest, I just felt like some things needed to be pointed out, that we need to still be careful about some things even while we're finally finding something hopeful to hold on to. Now that I've done that "civic duty" I'm ready to shut up about it, give my support to the best choices available, and hope my fears don't come to pass.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works [S] 1 point 1 week ago

I completely agree, we should always be careful and vigilant. Thank you for looking out for that regardless of where we each end up in our personal opinions.

Sending all the good luck and hopes into the world today <3

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[–] Uruanna@lemmy.world -1 points 1 week ago (1 child)

The person who is pictured in the OP is not encouraging someone to take karate lessons and learn peaceful means of self defense or self discipline.

And I'm explaining that that person is wrong and the lessons will do the opposite of what they think. They think the kid will be taught to hit back, I'm saying they will be taught actual defense, not to hit back.

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[–] SarahValentine@pawb.social 1 point 1 week ago

You should have been replying to the person I was replying to above, then, and not to me. You didn't make your position clear, you just came out swinging with overblown sarcasm and dragging Israel into it. Chill out; we're probably on the same side of this.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works [S] 0 points 1 week ago (1 child)

Teaching 5 year old children to hit back is teaching them unnecessary violence.

And you clearly missed the other conversations around this topic. The problem isn't karate. It's asserting that this little boy can gain his pride and self-esteem back by hitting this little girl.

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[–] Uruanna@lemmy.world 1 point 1 week ago

I have seen the other comments disagreeing with your take that handling a bully who happens to be a girl goes back to misogyny, yes, because you focus on "teaching a boy to use violence against girls is bad" while refusing to deal with the initial violence and are also completely blanking on the self defense part. How should a boy protect himself against a girl who's hitting him? And no, I am not saying "punch back duh". I agree that actually karate classes will teach a 4 year old to avoid getting hurt and keep control and will, in fact, boost his confidence, just not the way the other asshole person you were responding to thinks, and punching back won't go well, short term or long term. The other person may be an ass thinking "they're kids, it's totally fine to hit a girl", but learning how to handle a violent bully, girl or not, is not misogyny.

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