"Avoiding things like the plague" because people did not actually seem to want to avoid the plague last time around.
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“Burning the midnight oil”
Good one! I would offer 'Draining the house battery' as a replacement but it doesn't really have a ring to. Maybe 'You've been living in low blue light mode'. No that's even worse! somebody help me here 😅.
"Staying up past your bedtime" is about as close as I can think of, off the top of my head.
using solar at night
"yer using solar at night, ain't ya boi"
Entering single digits? Only makes sense for those with 24h time I guess
Don't put the cart before the horse.
Don't submit your post before you write it.
Oh, man, when it comes to nautical idioms, I could go on all day. There are so many, and they've lost their literal connections so thoroughly, you probably don't even think of some of them as idioms. A few that occur to me immediately:
- taken aback (wind on the wrong side of the sails)
- give a wide berth (extra space for a vessel to maneuver)
- leeway (unwanted downwind slippage of the vessel when in motion)
- above board (on deck, the board being the section of the hull running fore and aft just above the water line)
- onboard (to load onto the deck of the ship)
- go by the board (to fall off of the ship into the water, passing the board on the way)
- hand over fist (two-handed motion to pull in sails, ropes, etc. as quickly as possible)
- high and dry (above the tide line)
- loose cannon (a gun insufficiently secured would cause havoc on a warship when fired, or as the ship rolled in waves)
Honestly, I'm not sure that I want modern equivalents, since many are so rich in imagery.
Also today I was literally at the bitter end anchoring a boat with almost all of the available chain.
Three sheets to the wind!
Honestly, I'm not sure that I want modern equivalents, since many are so rich in imagery.
I do love the imagery of "loose Canon", and by "love" I mean that as it's been described and depicted, it's a truly horrifying situation. So it makes for a really visceral image.
A quick aside: there's this murder mystery/logic puzzle game called "the Return of the Obra Dinn" that takes place on a merchant ship. The game is basically like a series of still frame dioramas that you have to analyze and figure out what's going on. There's a particularly striking scene with a cannon which breaks loose from its chains and several unfortunate sailors. It took me a long time to actually find the third sailor in the scene... (There wasn't a lot left)
Very nice! Amazing how ingrained they've become. "That new recruit is a car without brakes" just doesn't ring the same does it?
I thought "by the boards" referred to losing the mast specifically snapped off right at the deck.
FYI this can still happen on liquid propane stoves, so not totally lost to time.
Maybe "Kill two birds with one stone", because who hunts with stones anymore?
As a software dev I'll offer 'Kill two bugs with one patch' as a replacement.
I think I remember seeing a PETA post years ago that suggested "feed two birds with one scone"
Yeah that one bugs me. I can feed multiple birds with one scone easily. I'm putting in too much effort here, but this recipe has the macronutrient mass of a single scone at 90g. The average crow weighs about 300-600g. I chose it because it's a common bird that would be interested in scone and that people like to feed, that's on the bigger end of birds people feed (outside waterfowl). One crow isn't eating nearly a third of its mass in one go, a sixth maybe. Songbirds aren't even getting close to that.
Killing two birds with one stone implies some skill or fortune. You wouldn't say it to describe picking up tomorrow's groceries with today's. Feeding two birds with one scone is only difficult or fortunate if those birds are geese, and even then I assume the only reason two managed to get their bills on that thing is because they're fighting over it.
My fav replacement for this one is “feed two birds with one scone”, I don’t remember where I heard it but it always makes me smile
(Don’t feed bread to birds tho lol)
"it's a twofer!"
Dollars to donuts originated in an age when a dollar could buy a considerable quantity of donuts. Inflation has since reduced the literal interpretation of the expression to nearly even odds.
Also donut shops overcharge. Donuts used to be super fucking cheap. That's why they'd be next to the coffee pot at every function, and in the work break room. Now they want like $2 a donut. It's dough that's been boiled in grease. And they get to reuse the grease for many boilings. C'mon.
In 2026 it's literally Donuts To Dollars.
I'd bet you dollars to RAM...
Also, I enjoy etymology. To me donuts will always be doughnaughts. (Naught meaning nothing or zero. Essentially zeroes made of dough.)
I came here for this comment. Thanks OP.
"Have your cake and eat it too" doesn't really make sense. Cake is not rare or expensive enough that simply possessing it feels good. If you have cake, all you want is to eat it.
The italian version, "you want a full barrel and drunk wife" illustrates the same situation much more clearly.
I'm only half joking when I say this could be the modern replacement. I've caught both myself and the S.O. using "no take only throw" in conversation, often about unreasonably demanding people.

That’s because it’s backwards. Should be “eat your cake and have it too”
Edit: While that preserves the form and is recognizable as the common saying, it makes the meaning clearer if phrased as “Eat your cake and still have it”.
Also wanting to eat your cake and have it too is supposed to imply you're like a toddler having a tantrum because you're just coming to terms with the rules of object permanence: a person playing peekaboo or hide-and-seek can disappear and still come back, but if you eat your cake it will be ALL GONE!!!
Even flipped, it's still weird in English with "Having cake" meaning "Eating cake" in most contexts anyway.
You cannot have a cake in your possession and also eat that cake. Once you eat it, it is gone.
Technically its not gone, just inside you.
I cannot possess cake without eating it
I was confused by this one too, but then I thought about it in the context of a wedding cake; you want to have it as a beautiful thing to show off to all of your guests, but you also want everyone to enjoy how good it tastes as a desert. You can't have both simultaneously, so you have to pick
When I was a kid, I remember asking my mom about this phrase because it made no sense to me. Why in the world would one even want a cake if they weren’t going to eat it? What is the point?! (I have always been particularly fond of cake — eating it, that is — who cares if it’s pretty if it tastes good?)
According to legend, some people have what's called "deferred gratification", by which they drive pleasure out of knowing that they will get to eat the cake later.
I don't get it either. I think it's a myth.
(to do something) "on your dime," i.e. at your expense - A reference to public coin operated phones, which for a long time cost 10c/a US "dime" coin per call.
Inflation by the late 70s had made the single dime call a thing of the past, but USD20c was still possible, and inflating phone fees in the 80s required increasing amounts of coinage. Public pay phones were decimated when mobile phones gained popularity and are virtually extinct today in the US.
"on your card" might be a more modern version, but cards are slowly disappearing with NFC phone payments.
Similar to when you "drop the dime" on someone, i.e. using a dime to call the cops on a payphone. Although in my lifetime, I don't think I've heard anyone but Bradley Nowell use that phrase.
"Picking up the phone" makes sense because you will probably pick it up to answer or dial. "Hanging up the phone" doesn't really happen so much anymore but we still do it all the time.
Also, "to dial" a phone number.
From back when land line telephones had rotary dials.
In Portuguese the equivalent expression is timeless: "o sujo falando do mal lavado" (the dirty one talking about the badly washed).
in Hungarian it's "the owl calling the sparrow 'big-headed'" 😄
we usually shorten it to just "owl calling the sparrow" (doesn't have the same ambiguous meaning as English)
Always love idioms from other languages. Had a book called "Idioms Delight" that explored equivalents from several different cultures/languages.
"Pulling my leg." Meaning you are making something up/joking at someones expense.
It does not have any real connection to the present. The idiom came about in the mid-19th century. There's two competing theories about how it came about. The prevailing theory is that pick pockets, particularly child pick pockets, would pull on people legs to distract their mark. The darker theory is that it was related to pulling someone's legs when they were hanged in order to finish the ordeal if they didn't die from the initial drop.
Great example! That one is so ingrained that I never even realised it didn't make literal sense! Maybe a modern replacement could be something like 'You're hiding a camera'
I don't know if its literal origin doesn't make sense to a modern person, but I think that most people still get the literal meaning of "pot calling the kettle black", that that is still understandable, so...
We still use "penny-wise and pound-foolish" in the US. We haven't used the pound since we seceded from the British Empire, and we just ended minting of the penny.
The saying apparently predates the US by about 200 years.
Until I looked it up I thought it was about the literal colour of the pot and the kettle. I even thought there might be racist undertones 😅. What's a good replacement for 'Pennywise and Pound foolish'? Maybe 'Steam saler, LootBox whaler'
fwiw I'm nearly 30 and I've never heard that phrase in my life. Maybe a regional thing?

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