I have four big black bins in my closet, full of… adult stuff I think those would definitely qualify. Maybe the foxtails, or my hot pink bunny mask, I’ve got a bunch of weird costumes that would raise eyebrows

Honestly, my network and server.

I am self learned so i often come up with my own creative solutions instead of knowing about a common standard. I can’t imagine anyone but me could maintain it.

In a previous iteration of my server i bent over backwards to make sure /home did not contain any user folders and instead only the mount points to numerous drives. Why? Inexplicably even if you do consider autism.

A military medal that was awarded to me.

I have never been a member of any nation’s armed forces.

The massive horse dildo may be a bit of an head scratcher, though knowing me - maybe not that surprising thing to find.

I have a ton of unique 3d printed firearms. They are legal for me to make and own where I live, but I can't legally sell them or give them away so they have just accumulated over the years haha

I'm the guy in the office people come to when they need something. Ibuprofen? Got it. Superglue? Got it. Change for the vending machine? Yup. I keep the change in an envelope I've labeled "petty cash". Inside that envelope , I have a smaller envelope that I've labeled "mad money". I have about $27 worth of Monopoly money in that one.

Nice try, CIA guy, how about you come on down and see it for yourself if you really must know.

Probably curious about why I, an atheist, have the Book of Mormon, the Catholic Apocrypha, the Books of Enoch, the Quran, and the standard Bible along with my collection of books on energy healing and astrology.

Weirdest for sure would be the contents of my journals. For a while during and after the pandemic I wrote a lot of entries very altered and I've also written a lot of entries at the top of some pretty spectacular manic episodes and the bottom of some very dark holes. I can't read them myself because they make me seem quite insane.

Most unexplainable would be a 50 alliance credit note from the Firefly/Serenity universe. They were produced by a gaggle of nerds and exact down to the paper, which is a semi-transparent nylon blend. I was given 300 credits in mixed bills as a joke from someone I had a one night stand with as payment for services rendered, but I've given them out to various fans of the show I've met over the 20 or so years they've been in my possession. If you weren't a mega fan of the show though, they would look like money from some obscure Asian country.

My family probably wouldn't be surprised about anything I own. They know the kind of guy I am.

A stranger might be a bit concerned about a certain wooden chest in my dining room. Large enough to fit an adult man (yes, we tried) but filled to the brim with swords, axes, pieces of armor and a 3 foot wooden spoon.

Edit: second place to a glittery pink princess themed friendship book filled with entries from adult millennials who like retro games, horror movies and metal.

probably the zombie porn.

yeah... that or the Dino porn.

Hmmm. Probably a (real) human spine (not my own).

My Zip discs. Kids today barely recognise floppies; they'd be completely stumped with those fat floppies that don't seem to fit anywhere.

I have a cursed mouse.

Not like a taxidermied mouse, but a cursed computer mouse.

It looks and functions like a normal wireless mouse... Until you get to a page where there is horizontal scrolling capability. Instantly, the mouse will scroll the page all the way to the right. This is especially fun in spreadsheets. The mouse will do this even if it is turned off. The problem is really the wireless reciver, not the actually mouse, but it is still a fun cursed object that I hope to someday unleash on some unsuspecting sibling.

I have a collection of Quack medical devices from the early 1900s. Some of them are used now as electrostatic sex toys.

Aside from adult items, it would be my collection of 400 keys all on a bunch of different connected key rings or maybe my rum bottle full of used needles.

Probably my 2lb jar of mercury. Have fun disposing of that toxic waste!

In my desk drawer is a small, plastic black box. Emerging from its surface is a toggle switch, some lights and wires that end in alligator clips. There is no writing at all, inside or out, It starts blinking lights and making an ominous buzzing sound if you let the wires touch each other while it's turned on. I built it myself, and you've got no hope of figuring out what it's for if you don't know already.

Nice try, feds... Just kidding, I think my place would be pretty boring, actually.

Also I have no idea who would be sorting through my stuff. I'm what's called a "solo ager". I imagine that the first thing to go deliquent would be property taxes. So maybe some city worker that prepares houses to be auctioned or something? Or maybe they don't bother with that and whoever buys my place from auction will be the ones to deal with it?

In my younger years I was a really bad pack rat but I've been pretty successful in getting rid of things (mostly donating it). I always wondered why my grandparents had such barren houses. They weren't rich but they weren't poor. But I did a decent amount of traveling for work with a single carry-on and realized how little I actually need or care about anymore. So the stuff I have is basically utilitarian now. Stuff I don't use is just more to clean and maybe someone else could benefit from it. Even have spare room in my storage shed and I can access everything, which felt like a major accomplishment.

Why'd he have a Super Nintendo mouse but not the system, no games, nor anything else related?

Nobody will actually ask that, though. Because nobody would assume it was anything other than an old-school computer mouse with an obsolete connector. And even if they did recognize what it was, nobody would think twice about how odd it is to have that, and only that. The only strange thing, maybe, is that it's stored with my keepsakes and not the rest of my obsolete tech, various cords, & connectors.

But the answer is: When I went away to college, I didn't take my video game stuff with me. My cousins asked to use my SNES and games, so I gave them permission while I was away. They grabbed everything except the mouse. At some point, they decided to sell my stuff to help purchase their Playstation, so I never got my SNES or games back. Then when my parents lost their house to foreclosure a few years later, they packed my things into a box, and gave it to me. I've held onto it for all these decades.

Remember that one really dark hentai that became a meme, "Emergence" or "Metamorphosis?"

I got the bright idea to get a paperback copy of it and now it's just waiting for some catastrophe to unearth it from its hiding place, like a time capsule of bad decisions

The few dozen communist books I have

My family are all pretty used to my esoteric magpie habits, but if it was a rando person and assuming my friends came through on their promises about the box in my closet that needs to be burnt before anyone else sees it... there are a lot of options. It's a six-way tie between the box of 2' long molybdenum disilicide foundry heating elements, the remilled RPG-7 (anniversary gift), the 11 steamer trunks, the 16' paper mache snake (I don't actually know where that came from), the fusion reactor or the signed first edition of Uncle Fester's "Silent Death".

(Honerable mention goes to the weirdly high number of harpoons that are just scattered around)

I fear typing it out would put me on a list ._.

either a finger made out of wood or soviet mortar shell

A tiny clay penis made by my best friend years ago.