cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/48783005

I wrote a simple greeting script for fish as a fetch/motd alternative

Repo: codeberg.org/Lunar267/fish_cute-greeting

A very tiny bit of code but I figured some other ricing enthusiast might like use it

Repo: codeberg.org/Lunar267/fish_cute-greeting

A very tiny bit of code but I figured some other ricing enthusiast might like use it

And heres the actual 88x31 badge, if you use it remember to set scaling to nearest/pixelated

I have zero idea what I'm doing but I put together this workbench for $35 as a start!

Some context:

My mother divorced my dad (who then lost custody of me due to abuse). We lived well below the poverty line with many days my only food being free lunch from my school. My mother then passed from cancer when I turned 17.

When my mother passed I moved in with my autistic friends family (Ive known her since elementary school). I had already been shot down by her in middle school when she explained to me "Im autistic so I dont feel those emotions." So I never thought anything would happen between us. Fast forward a year later and after spending tons of time together she asks "what are we", two days later and were offically dating.

My now partner has autism and bipolar and her parents while trying their best have always thought of her as nothing more then a little kid dispite her now being 20, and arent exactly the best at managing autism. Because of this she doesnt want her parents to know about us dating until we have our own place

Heres where my problems are:

The first week felt unreal. She asked for me to sleep in her room every night, wanted tons of cuddles and even wanted to try kissing- something she said she'd never do. Shes was also researching apartments every day and always talking about wanting to move out as soon as possible.

Unfortunately she also wanted to watch the sopranos. And I didnt realize just how much that show reflected my home life growing up triggering me whenever I watched an episode. It was manageable, but then problems at work were getting worse, her family arent abusive but their also not fun people to live with and problems started arising with them. Combining everything I started feeling very triggered and just couldnt return her love. I discussed it with her and tried to reasure that it wasnt her but Id be lying if I said I wasnt pretty distant.

Now things are better again, I changed departments at work, had to stop watching the sopranos instead of trying to power through the episodes. But now she doesn't want to be touched, barely talks to me, and starts getting incredibly anxious when I ask her any questions.

She tells me she still loves me but shes just having a bad episode, and I want to believe her. But her mannerisms are almost parallel to my ex's before she broke up with me. I feel like a disgusting creep begging for the attention of a girl who doesnt want to be with me. Im worried ill get the same conversation my ex had with me. "You were convient", "I didnt really love you but I had nobody else". I feel like I destroyed our relationship by going distant, and that every attempt to fix it pushes her further away.

The only thing keeping me questioning is every now and then she'll let me hug her again and curl up into my arms (she hates being hugged by anyone even family). I discussed everything with her but it just made her anxious and start freaking out. When I asked her about moving out she now says "Im not in a rush."

Sorry for this massive post but Im in my head and genuinly am lost for direction here. Did I ruin everything? How do I even approach talking when she just gets anxious and shuts down whenever I bring anything up? I would just like someone elses opinions or prespective on the matter because I known Im stuck only thinking from my own prespective on the situation

I love SearXNG but the image search can't come close to replacing pinterest for me. Are there any engines that automatically fetch more images similar to the one you clicked on or are ment for finding images?

I know the most common advice is to join local groups/clubs, but my town seems to only have religious, DnD, and MtG groups publicly posted, and as much as I've tried I just can't get into playing DnD/MtG

Does anyone have any app recomendations they've had luck with, or other advice?

This is really just a vent post tbh feel free to skip

In high school I had very supportive friends who helped me a ton and dispite being in poverty at the time I still had the time to care about my outward presentation. This ended up making the perfect moment in my life where I ended up focusing a ton on myself and even dispite having to hide it from very homophobic parents when I was out with friends I got called she/her basically every time a stranger saw me (unless I spoke lol)

But life hit hard after those couple months: I lost friends, my mom became bed ridden and eventually passed, I started failing school, a toxic relationship drained all the time I had from my hobbies. So my body hair grew out again, I put on more weight, I couldn't make myself exercise at all anymore, If it wasnt a school day I wouldn't even shower and I often rewore clothes since I would be too tired to do wash.

Well I always thought that when I moved out things would be better. That I'd get on E and become the girl of my dreams again! Instead the only work I could find is in a warehouse, my beard routinly grows to an itchy length because I just don't have the energy to shave, I was forced to move to the other side of the US to a shitty town in Idaho where im surrounded by only trumpies and racists, Ive lost all my friends due to the move. I don't just look like a man, but a whole ass dad to the point my coworkers assume I have kids... Im 19.

I don't have money, I don't have time, and I certainly don't have the energy to be trans anymore. Yet in my dreams when I look into the mirror, I see her, and for a moment I smile like I could when I was just a dumb kid again. And every morning after those dreams I'll wake up and be reminded that the friends family I'm staying with since I almost went homeless (and really need to move out from), even though their use my prefferd name, every action or joke or conversation is undeinably "your clearly a man". And I'm reminded of my sad reality that as I am now I will never come across as even remotely feminin