I ask because I caught myself being a huge hypocrite again.

I'm a millennial and I criticized a Gen Z friend for her constant use of the word 'lowkey.'

I then realized do I not do the same thing? I often say 'sorta' or 'kinda' when I do just mean I did the thing in the same way she uses 'lowkey.'

No, I didn't 'kinda' delete a guy's account at my stupid IT job. I DELETED HIS ACCOUNT! I didn't 'sorta' leave too late for work. I FUCKING LEFT LATE!

So I am a massive fucking hypocrite who needs to just let Gen Z chill and do what the want as I am the same flavor of asshole, but what about you?

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[–] 78 points 2 months ago (8 children)

Why use more word when less word work

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    [–] 65 points 2 months ago* (8 children)

    Filler words carry meaning, even if they don't have specific definitions in context. Like, "like" has a dictionary definition, but if you use it as, like, a filler word, you aren't using that definition (necessarily), but it still conveys something about how the speaker is thinking. They don't just pop up in speech at random. I like catching them and trying to interpret why speakers insert them where they do.

    Like, "lowkey" is usually* sometimes used to soften harsh language e.g. "I'm lowkey gonna murder Sarah if she doesn't stop chewing her gum with her mouth open". Kinda how "kinda" works as a filler to tone down whatever is being said. I don't actually want to murder Sarah, I just kinda want to murder her. I don't even know if I would call them "proper filler words" in the same sense that "like" is, since they do have a particular function that "like" as a filler lacks. More research is needed it seems.

    For me, I let 'em fly. If I had to deliver a speech I would probably include fewer than I usually use in casual conversation, but I don't hold with the rule that they're strictly to be avoided. I think they're neat.

    * edit: I just know how I've heard it used, I have no idea how it's usually used. I'm lowkey not in the lowkey demographic.

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  • [–] 26 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    I'm lowkey literally gonna murder Sarah.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    I heard someone use "literally" the other day in a way that made absolutely no sense, even in the not-literally-correct way we've all gotten used to. Almost like its heading for the sort of fits-anywhere role that "fucking" has.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    I wonder how many fuckings could be fit into a single grammatically correct sentence.

    Fuck is fucking fucked.

    For fuck sake this fuck fucked up the fucking, fucking.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    Rocco: Fuckin'- What the fuckin'. Fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking... How did you two fucking fucks...
    [shouts]
    Rocco: Fuck!
    Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.

    ---The Boondock Saints

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  • [–] 14 points 2 months ago

    “Like” can also be a softener.

    “I ate like 20 corn dogs” is different than “I ate 20 corn dogs.”

    The former means a larger than standard number of corn dogs, maybe six or seven. The latter means twenty.

    It has other practical uses as well.

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  • [–] 47 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    No, I mean I don't use them needlessly or whatever. I kinda use them to sorta let my thoughts buffer.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    You have a good point there, English is a quite efficient language (which gets shortened even more, like saying "o" instead of zero) and this maybe leaves less time to think.

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  • [–] 24 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    For some reason, I have an incredibly difficult time not saying like.

    I bet if there were a word cloud of mymost commonly used words of all of my posts, "like" would be the sun in my fucking word solar system.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    This is super common on the west coast of Canada (and I assume the United States as well.) Most of my friends from there say it constantly.

    Filler words are normal, and every language has them.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    It's got California origins in the US, but it's spread.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valley_girl

    A valley girl is the stereotype of a materialistic upper-middle-class young woman, associated with unique vocabulary, vocal mannerisms, and California accent features, who comes from the Los Angeles commuter communities of the San Fernando Valley.[1] A youth subcultural identity and stock character in American popular media, it originated in and is most associated with the 1980s and 1990s.

    Valleyspeak, or valspeak, is a (stereotypical) California English social dialect and accompanying vocal features, best associated with Valley girls, though elements of it may be used by other demographics, including some men of a similar background ("val dudes").[3] This sociolect became an international fad for a certain period in the 1980s and 1990s. Valleyspeak is popularly characterized by both the steady use of uptalk, certain vowel sounds, and its vocabulary. The vowel sounds are in fact part of the larger California vowel shift becoming more common in the American West and Canada, as well as elsewhere in the U.S. Certain features once associated with Valspeak are now simply mainstream in many American speakers born since the late 20th century.[4]

    Features and qualifiers

    • "Like" as a discourse marker. "Like" is used as a filler word, similar to "um" or "er", as in, "I'm, like, totally about to blow chunks." When "like" is functioning as a discourse marker, the word itself does not semantically change the phrase or sentence. Instead, it provides time for the speaker to formulate what they will say next. The word is always unstressed when used in this way. "Like" does not always function as a discourse marker in Valspeak. Consider the following two sentences: "It was like eight feet deep," and "I think that, like, it is entertaining." Even though both sentences contain the word "like," they employ it differently. In the former, "like" serves as an adverb that is synonymous with "approximately", whereas the latter "like" is a discourse marker, adding no additional meaning to the sentence.[15] Furthermore, "like" is frequently used to introduce quoted speech. For example, a person can recount a conversation by stating, "So, uh, I'm like, 'Where did he go?' And she was like, 'I don't know, I haven't seen him.'"[16]
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  • [–] 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 20 points 2 months ago (7 children)

    IRL I often use too few filler words and get perceived to be blunt or direct. So I think there is a middle ground.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago (5 children)

    I've been pretty aware of fillers from an early age and had a similar problem

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    I come from low socioeconomic so often a few words was enough. As I have grown and travelled I have adopted fillers, esp when writing. I often feel like I use too many which feels like I am betraying my natural way of communicating. But this also boosted by my likely ADHD. It’s usually too much, or too little, I just can’t get that middle ground.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago* (3 children)

    So, similar background, and my issue is that, as I've traveled, widened my circle, and now (in my late 30s) made my way into higher education; I somewhat refuse to use the expanded vocabulary that these more "sophisticated" circles prefer. I feel like I'm exposing myself to thee parts of society in order to bring the better parts of it and ways of thinking back to help build my preferred community, but knowing that the only why I can bring it back is if I maintain the "local lingo" if you will. Otherwise, I feel I'll be seen as an outsider.

    I think I may have gone pretty hard and to the left of what we were originally talking about...but this is the internet, I may have just needed to scream into the void. Idk, but that constant strive for a middle ground is a familiar feeling.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    I understand that and unfortunately the industries I work in expect waffle and showiness. The weird thing is in almost every exit interview my bosses tend to mention the appreciated my frankness. It must just slip out. I do get tired of the pretentiousness. It may not be that for a lot of people but that’s how it feels, like a linguistic game.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    You can adapt how you speak to the people you're talking to. In fact most people do that somewhat automatically, but you can consciously encourage it to happen more fully.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago

    I do to a point, but there is intended refusal on my part when speaking with those that I get the impression that they do so to be impressive, especially in higher ed.

    In a big believer in knowing how to and practicing the ability to speak to the least formally educated among us is a more valuable skill than is using the longest and most sophisticated words I can muster. I know the words, and I CAN use the words, but why? Especially if it runs the risk of someone around me feeling like they can't or shouldn't engage due to societal pressures of inadequacy. Fuck that noise.

    I have often felt like I don't belong in the space I am occupying for similar reasons, I would hate to be the reason someone else felt that way.

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  • [–] 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Do you needlessly use filler words?

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  • [–] 12 points 2 months ago

    I grew up in a house with a swear word jar, and a filler word jar. The swear word jar worked differently than most. We didn't put a quarter in every time we used a swear word. We put a dollar in every time we use a swear word incorrectly or as a filler word. According to my parents, "profanity should be used as punctuation and emphasis, not decoration."

    The filler word jar worked like a normal swear word jar. $0.25 in the jar for each and every filler word we used. Since this was in the '80s and '90s, we learned to think about what we said before we started speaking.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 months ago* (2 children)

    I like the extra verbosity. When used in moderation anyway. A little bit of seasoning for my sentences.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    Exactly. As a non-native speaker, I sometimes intentionally add these words to make my speech sound less formal and more casual.

    On the other hand, most of the time I talk with other non-native speakers, so I'm not even sure they notice.

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    [–] 9 points 2 months ago

    The Title should be "Do You Use Filler Words?" not "Do You Needlessly Use Filler Words?". At least I really, really, really think so. /s

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago

    Take one step back and ask yourself why you criticized your friend to begin with.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago* (2 children)

    It's only when I see "lowkey" used to mean the exact opposite of its intended meaning, and without being sarcastic that I get annoyed. If it's hella loud and/or flashy, that shit is not lowkey, kiddos.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago

    I, like, totally do!

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    I'm ready for people to move on from describing 85% of things as "unhinged".

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    [–] 6 points 2 months ago

    no, why use many words when few do trick

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago
    [–] 6 points 2 months ago

    The filler words do carry meaning just not content although using them every time establishes a new baseline. They can be used to convey vibes, to harden, soften or communicate lack of confidence for example.

    If you kinda/sorta deleted a person's account, you still deleted the account but you are implicitly saying you didn't mean to for example. Lowkey can be a modifier to mean you don't feel strongly about something.

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  • I think I understand what you're talking about. I wouldn't classify the extra words I use as strictly "filler" words. My phrasing is designed to avoid speaking in absolutes. I'm sure it was intentional at one point but it's been a habit for so long that it's become automatic.

    I've considered why I do this and come up with a few reasons. First, because I routinely doubt myself. Even on topics where I am an expert. Imposter syndrome is real. Second, because I often find myself having to deliver news that the other person(s) doesn't want to hear and I feel like it helps "soften the blow." And third, to give myself the feeling of plausible denyability; even if there really is none. e.g. "I said could happen, not would happen."

    TLDR: Because I doubt myself and want to avoid conflict.

    But there are times when I will drop the fillers. And it's not really a conscious effort. If I'm talking about something I feel morally responsible for, I will drop the bullshit and get straight to the point. It happens when I've decided that I'm going to die on this [proverbial] hill and that doing what I think is right outweighs any potential consequences. I can coun't on one, maybe two hands where I've felt I had to choose between a job or a friend and my personal ethics.

    In those moments, the fillers go away because my choice is already made.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 months ago (6 children)

    I'm always annoyed by the term lowkey, because in music, low key means lower pitch, and not low in volume. It's essentially bass, and my brain cannot comprehend how it could mean what it's supposed to mean.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

    i think you probably still have the meaning wrong, as i concluded it is the equivalent of "down low",which to me is saying "don't want this to go public". you know, don't want people to notice. sensitive topic. yadda yadda.

    either way, over used. i remind my 10 yo when i notice him doing it. i point out such phrases lose meaning when overused. they become fillers, not information.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    I think the meaning is still valid, bass is low key and generally lowkey, it isn't overly noticed in a band or song.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    Key is they term for pitch. I'd make more sense to say pianissimo if you actually want to communicate subtlety. I do get your point about the bass, it just doesn't make logical sense in my head.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago

    Hmm, well, uh, maybe?

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago

    I mean... For real, yeah, I guess, kinda lowkey.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago

    Wouldn't call it 'needless' exactly.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago

    Uhhh idk like um maybe

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago

    For sure, I do. I also think that's normal, because you sometimes need filler to let your brain catch up with your words. The filler words I find annoying are the ones that don't "fit" the context, but that's subjective, and younger people probably think "low-key" fits more often than I do.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

    Yes, I definitely do. It's because my brain runs quite slowly, slower than I talk. So I often need to put in filler words to let my brain catch up. Or I repeat the same thing I just said but in a different way.

    It's odd how the brain can kindof pre-load the mouth with a sentence, then while the sentence is playing, it hunts for the next sentence to cue. If the next sentence is not ready yet, then the mouth goes into autopilot. It puts in filler words to make the sentence longer, and loops back on other things I've already said.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (1 child)

    I was always told when younger to make sure brain is engaged before opening mouth because i would get lost mid sentence if it wasn't planned out

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago

    I still use "cool" a lot, but I think its become one of those words that will persist through generations.

    It's not really a filler word, but I've been corrected on my use of "just," particularly at my work place. "Just" is often used by some people to minimise the impact of what they're saying intentionally. For example, "I just think we should change the wording in this law." If you take out 'just' (and some of the other words) and say the thing you meant to say - it becomes a far punchier statement, "We should change the wording in this law."

    The OP made me think of a poem by Taylor Mali, "Speak With Conviction."

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago

    I use "umm... " and "uuuh..." to let my thoughts buffer when I talk.

    I would like to think I don't use filler words but this is a good opportunity for some self reflection. Thank you.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago* (1 child)

    I do, but I try to catch myself from saying uh and um between sentences. Similarly, I've noticed I have a habit of breathing in sharply after I say something, which I'm sure no one else notices but I feel is still annoying.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    What the actual fuck? Literally.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago
    [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    Usually meant to increase the degree to which I'm being absurd or facetious. It's a manner of showing contempt for the thing I'm describing. I use it to joke more than with actual dialog.

    But "kinda" probably happens in my daily vocabulary to such a degree that I'm unaware how much I use it. So, despite using this sort of word deliberately in certain situations, I'm also very guilty of using it everywhere else.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    I sometimes correct zoomers if something is actually high key.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    I mean, like, sorta kinda yeah

    We all do, yeah. I just try and delete them when I'm writing anything for my blog. My big one used to be "technically," and at this point I'm debating installing something that shocks me every time I type the word "realistically" because I use it way too much.

    For me it's a lack of confidence thing. Sorta/kinda/etc are there for their own reasons, I have a few theories but haven't actually looked into it much

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago
    [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    There are two primary reasons people use filler words.
    One is to maintain possession of the role of 'speaker' in the conversation because, if you stop for a while, someone might think you're done (if it sounded like the end of a thought) or have broken down trying to think of what to say. Spending time in environments where people have high demands for time or competition for attention can make these things worse. The other is social fear or anxiety about how your message will be received, or over one's correctness and certainty. 'I am claiming this thing for myself,' has the same ultimate goal as 'Nah, lowkey f'real, I was kinda maybe thinking of nabbing that,' but the use of the extra 'filler' words and slang is designed to obfuscate the meaning, making it passive agressive, forcing the listener to parse the extra layers of obfuscation before having a chance to object, and leaving a verbal avenue of retreat open if someone does object, allowing them to say, 'No, I said I was thinking about it.' Spending time in environments where one has to deal with openly agressive people can often make people seek out these verbal conflict avoidance techniques.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    such words can be useful to signal being slightly uncomfortable about the fact... when not overused. i see your point, of course!

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    uuuhno. (That’s one word.) 🤧

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago

    I, you know, low-key do sometimes, ahem, use, like, some, ahem, filler, ahem, you know, words, right.
    No really, I do. Not as bad as above "sentence." But I tend to sprinkle some "basically" and "just" into each comment I make.
    And yes, I hate when others do it.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    My fave was when a GenZ said, in all seriousness, that they were 'starting to think Andy Warhol was LOWKEY obsessed with celebrities'!!!

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    We're all hypocrites, it happens, just don't let it happen with important shit.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    I use "really" and "very" way too much.

    When editing my writings, I keep an eye out for those words especially, and either delete them or replace them. So, instead of "very happy", I might write "thrilled" or "ecstatic."

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    I'm french, and it's a geberational thing I guess. People my age often say "genre" (equals "kinda"), and older people find this very annoying (I'm 22)

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    I need my filler words!

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    I'm the opposite in a way, I tend to look for a specific word and when I can't find it right away it can make for awkward pauses in my speech. I'm working on it.

    But when I was younger, sure, tons of filler words. It gets better

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago
    [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    Oh definitely. The way I use language changes drastically based on the situation. I try to avoid it as much as I can - which means I still end up using them plenty often enough lol. And that's the biggest culprit right there, appending 'lol' in text to come across more agreeable/chill.

    I do find it interesting how the filler words differ between generations. Lowkey I mix slang from millenials, gen z, and just a splash of gen x. Whatever suits the scenario and my mood :D

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    It's funny how people will be particular over filler words but not over speaking a shitty language with a grammar that barely makes sense.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago

    Fixing one's use of filler words is orders of magnitude easier than learning a "better" language. Doubly so for convincing everyone you know to also put in that effort for the same "better" target language.

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