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[–] 39 points 4 months ago (1 child)


Its crazy that this is the picture they chose to represent their product. That's as good as it gets.

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  • [–] 27 points 4 months ago
    [–] 19 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    30 years ago when I was stuck working a crappy 3rd shift job, these were one of the few decent things to eat in the break room. I can still recall the taste but I can't say I miss it.

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  • [–] [S] 10 points 4 months ago

    Bro, I kept some frozen burrito company in business because it was better than the drywall sandwiches they offered at camp. The burrito would thaw out in my work vest by lunch and was edible with a bit of hot sauce. Not good. Edible.

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  • [–] 19 points 4 months ago* (9 children)

    Holy shit.

    I've had one of these once.

    ... I recommend it to an adventurous eater, or someone who has depression.

    Because you can eat one of these, and know with 100% confidence that this will be the worst hamburger you ever eat, and that everything else, everything after, is definitionally upward from there.

    Truly these things are so awful they reset my entire scale for how awful food can taste.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    I assume you must need to throw a bunch of ketchup and mustard too make this palatable? Reminds me of the cafeteria burgers we got in elementary school. Plain buns that have been under the heat lamp a bit too long.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    our burgers in school were ok, even if they were part soy. this was the 70s and 80s though, before school lunches became outsourced profit centers for greedy corporations. school lunches in general were pretty good.. and at college after, even better. was like going to a gourmet all-you-can-eat buffet for every meal (the 'freshman 15' was very real back then).

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    Only did the last 2 years of highschool in the US and decided on the first day I wasn't gonna hve the food the school served, but the gourmet upgrade effect at uni is very much still a thing.

    Or at least it was in 2013

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  • [–] 75 points 4 months ago (20 children)

    What in the American yeehaw is this

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  • [–] 27 points 4 months ago (12 children)
  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago

    kwiktrip's 'quarter pound' burgers aren't horrible. they have in-store kitchens, so its not the microwave reheated crap like op that many stores have. better than some fast food chains. the paper thin bacon scrap they use on bacon cheeseburgers is pathetic, though.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (9 children)

    I have a specific fondness of the pre made baguettes jambon emmental they have at French has stations. They are not exceptional, but fulfill a certain void in me.

    I somehow doubt American had station food will compare, though.

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  • [–] 12 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    Eeh. It's the same kind of microwavable chow as they have in Japanese convenience stores - it's not good, but it's fine if you're expecting it.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    I stand by 7/11 onigiri being actually pretty good. I've had plenty of worse fast food

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    You're probably right, but we do have sushi at our gas stations.

    I don't really recommend it.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    What beautiful horrors we have in store for you. Look on in terror and know that it’s already too late. The final choir has sung with abyssal chorus, signifying that the final gate has been opened and your doom is at hand. Now eat your vending machine cheeseburger

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    That particular product is a Tysons Food convenience store reheat product.

    I'd say it's completely American, but I saw Ashens reviewing a bunch of instant food crap like this from Norwich too

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  • [–] 32 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    "Carl's Jr. Extra Big-Ass Taco- now with more molecules

    Carl's Jr. Fuck you, I'm eating."

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  • [–] 12 points 4 months ago

    I'm not gonna sit here pretend like I haven't had these gas station microwave cheeseburgers before.

    Yes it's probably been decades, but I can still remember eating these when I was in certain "situations" and there's a quality to them that isn't horrible, if you don't mind eating all the plastics and preservatives that come with it. There's something about the way the bread steams in the bag.

    I do remember that you have got to make sure you microwave it thoroughly, and then you have got to let it cool a few minutes.

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  • [–] 22 points 4 months ago (4 children)
  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Alright, let me find my balls, for God's sakes! 1, 2, and 3, okay. I'm okay.

    -Dr. Evil

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    Pretty sure there was a Cyanide and Happiness comic with this premise. Could not find it. They really need to add text keywords to their comics to be able to find them easily like XKCD ones.

    It was a DJ or Music assistant testing equipment with the "testing, testing, 1, 2" as the setup, except he was saying "testes, testes, 1, 2" then went into "testes, testes, 1, 2, 3" with a concerned face on the 3rd or 4th panel, with the 4th panel showing that he was doing a cancer check with his hand.

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  • [–] 10 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    It's pretty hard to explain what "sad looking food" is in my language. I just show people American public school lunch.

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  • [–] 10 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Never seen this one before, but my job had a few of these in the freezer vending machine. I actually thought they were decent, but everyone thought i was crazy lol. It was absolutely a passible meal for $2.50 at the time.

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  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    Is frozen food as bad everywhere as it is in the US?

    It's the most nasty, chewy shit in the world here. I freeze home cooked meals and they reheat fine, so I don't get how 99%+ of our frozen food is so disgusting.

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  • [–] 10 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Look at the ingredients. A lot of these frozen burgers n shit have TVP, textured vegetable protein, to fill out the food instead of meat, pumped full of water so it freezes solid and thus steams TF out of it and becomes soggy, plus epic amounts of additives and preservatives. If all frozen foods were genuine home-cooked quality meals, they wouldn't last as long and would cost 10x as much so they can turn huge profit margins

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    "Everywhere" does not eat frozen food. Americans need to travel to other countries and stay there at least 2 months, upon return, you will realize just how sick and malnourished the US is, outside of large metro areas.

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  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago

    The rule with these is to avoid throwing the bread in the microwave and toast it instead. It's actually not bad.

    To clarify: it's not bad considering the extremely low bar.

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  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I decided to not become a pornstar 😭. I could have been there getting it on with the most beautiful women in the world. But I don't know if y'all noticed, they only got two! Every sex porn guy only has two balls! What do they do to their third ball!!!!

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Damn forgot about cheap vending machine burgers. Moved out when I was 17, my roommate's mom worked for a company "Canteen" that restocked something like these into vending machines, so we got a lot for free every week.

    Ate a whole bunch in the first year. Eventually got really sick of them. Very believable you could grow a third ball from the preservatives. I'll probably get some kind of cancer instead.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago

    A friend of mine once had me pose with two of these when on a roadtrip (we had never seen them before).

    So he could say I had "azburgers"

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago

    i wonder how often the ceo and board members of companies like conagra 'eat their own dog food'.

    just a hunch, but i'm guessing that's never.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Is this a frozen product, or is it wrapped at room temperature like a Joe Louis cake? What in tarnation am I even looking at?

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (13 children)

    We had some of these in a break room at a company I worked at but I never tried them. Is there something different from other frozen hamburgers?

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (12 children)
  • [–] 14 points 4 months ago (10 children)
  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    Welcome back to weird stuff in a can! Today we're looking at a cheeseburger in a can.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I looked these up to see if the AZ was terrible marketing or if these started in Arizona. It’s terrible marketing by chicken and meat giant Tyson Foods and they look nasty as hell

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago

    I’m sad to report that I too have eaten some of these when I was a kid.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago*

    I miss these... Nobody near me sells them since I moved. Walmart used to have their own knock-offs that were just as good (a little smaller but also like $2 cheaper) but they don't anymore.

    Sometimes I just want a cheap, quick microwave burger or chicken sandwich, but I still want it to taste decent. These are just that. The actual worst burgers are what Sysco sells to schools and what gas stations have near the hotdogs.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago

    This is basically no different than the burger you get at Applebee's, other than they have the sense to toast the buns.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (5 children)

    What are these? Is this a 7-11 special?

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  • [–] 21 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    From what I remember, 7-Eleven considers itself too special to carry these. When I've seen them, they've always been in, like, weird off-brand truck stops and gas stations that aren't part of a chain.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    I used to get them at a local gas station back in like 2005. They were 99 cents, and you could microwave them right there in the store. They weren't good, but it's a cheap and quick way to get ~800 calories in you.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    The 3rd ball was a tumor folks. Nothing to see here.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    Gas station food will not keep you healthy, but it WILL keep you from starving. Though you'd have to be starved of both food and the time or will to cook something for yourself

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    IRL that reminds me of my sister - drank Pepsi with almost every meal through her teenage years, never had a cavity until age 30. Dunno about diabadeetees tho.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    Yuck I can taste the TVP already

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago
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