Can confirm.

Protip to not become a resentful adult: Vent and vent often. Keeping that shit bottled up is the starting breeding ground for most of today's personality disorders.

Quiet resentment eventually begets external aggression.

Don't forget the chronic depression, crippling trust issues, and being perpetually single due to said trust issues...

Children who grew up

Don't need to read the article. Got shit from my father for using rivets when I should've used screws on my car. "Didn't anyone ever teach you anything?" he said. No shit cunt, YOU didn't.

Add undiagnosed ADHD and ASD to that and you've got a great recipe for life full of struggle, anxiety, identity issues, bonding issues, the list goes on. You keep wondering how everyone else is so cheerful with everything that's going on within your own life. Not to say you can't escape it, but it is lifelong hard work.

I remember being a child and finding a book called "How To Do Nothing With No One All alone By Yourself."

I enjoyed the book, but wondered about the people who would need that book.

https://bookshop.org/p/books/how-to-do-nothing-with-nobody-all-alone-by-yourself-a-timeless-activity-guide-to-self-reliant-play-and-joyful-solitude-robert-paul-smith/fdef205eb5d3a604?ean=9781941040652&next=t

This is garbage.

I'll skip you a read, the article does not present data to support any of the statements in the title. Nor in the subtitle. It does however present multiple ads and popups.

This is your friendly neighborhood ego-appealing only-10%-higher-iq-can-solve-this-game article with "research" from psychologytoday, autocitation, and articles that do not even discuss what is being stated. This writing style underscores how the usage of AI to create engaging articles and foster a diverse community- what I mean is that thing is either written with AI intervention or by someone who reads them so much that they write like them.

Mental health is a real issue, that should be handled with real information, not this kind of fanfiction.

Have you ever met someone who can fix anything, figure out anything, handle any crisis with calm precision, and yet flinches when someone offers to help them? Have you ever wondered why the most capable person in the room is also the one who seems least comfortable receiving care?

I have. Because for a long time, I was that person.

I'm sure this would make a nice action movie introduction.

Separating competence from identity. You are not your ability to handle things alone. That ability is a nervous system adaptation, and a useful one. But it’s a tool, not a definition. You’re allowed to set it down.

Also comes with crunchy bits of quantum neural vibrations.

I'm not going to comment everything, but this is garbage.

We're not all resentful, we just hate the people who refuse to advance themselves and adhere to some level of learned helplessness as their nominal state

Was latchkey kid with add. I only move in predicability. Work, relationships friendships all work because I can predict their behavior.

And hilariously enough I've gravitated into being a Dominant in a D/s relationship. Because if you can control it, you can predict it. (It's consensual)

Also... Therapy kept me from being resentful.

I'm married to someone who had to be the adult and take care of her family (siblings and mother) starting age 11.

My wife is unstoppable. But she expects adults to be adults, because she had to figure out how to be one by herself. And that's where the resentment comes in.

Emancipated at 16. Had to take my younger brother with me. I am so much better for it but it was a massive struggle.

Also, often while you were teaching us, we learned leasons that were not part of your teaching plan.

Stop seeing me

often becomes adults who are extraordinarily competent

yeah... about that...

(still financially dependent (and emotionally attached to my mother since I never felt confident to explore the world on my own and make friends))

As for the resentment...

You have no idea how much I just hate my birth country.

I have this fantasy of having a perfect relationship with my mother but its this stupid ass ultra-conservative culture that destroyed that could've been.

Every time I my mom yells at me... every time I have conflict with family... I just can't stop thinking: I fucking hate China, fucking toxic culture

I kinda feel like all this shame of my depression is like the spirits of my ancestors taunting me, calling me a coward for not being able to just "be strong" or whatever the fuck that means... so I just hate that country as a proxy to hating my parents... whom I don't really want to hate... so I blame the culture, the country instead... the toxic culture robbed me of my relationship with my family of origin...

And for that, I will forever hate China... I never wanna re-visit that place ever again...

Who the fuck even wanna deal with the firewall bullshit and censorship on top of it? Jeez... I rather face my risks in the US of ICE or whatever, at least if I get shot by ICE, I would actually get sympathy... in China, they'd call me a lazy loser and totally ignore the existence of depression... and at least I could binge watch youtube in the US... China has zero media and is boring af... idk how people even survive the boredom...

Fuck CCP, Fuck Confucious, Fuck "Filial Piety"

/end rant

Please don’t @ me like that.

I have been asked on more than one occasion by folks who have heard enough of my story to know what I’ve come through how I managed to come through it, and my response is steadfastly: “Because I had to.”

There’s no great secret. No deep well of reserves. You just keep going.
It’s not exactly healthy, nor does it make one the most happy person. You unlearn what you can, when you can, or try to, anyway.

Can you please not write/post articles about me? I'm feeling targeted.

Not me being constantly told that I lack common sense when the reason why I'm being told those things is that I believe that people have value and should be treated with kindness by default, or that things can get better.

If your common sense does not include those things, I don't want to have anything to do with it.

I'm not really resentful bacause of that. I just have fond memories of learning alone. It was lonely trying to relate with others what I was doing with my day, but it didn't stop it from being fun.

Even worse is when adults actively deny teaching you something basic like washing clothes or cooking food, always saying "Leave it to me". I am very resentful of that

Read the title: yeah, feels kinda true

Read the article: damn...

A lifetime of anxiety, avoidance, borderline abusive social connections, and not being able to connect with my own emotion until my mid thirties, reporting in.

Doing better these days, it's scary to ask for help. I've learned to choose the right kind of friends. So now when I'm brave enough to ask, they're available and listening.

I am NOT competent at all and still resentful :D
Also is the article any good or just speculation?

lemmy users are a collection of high iq free thinking individuals who are extraordinarily competent.

Compentent? Maybe. Resentful, yeah I'm working on it okay.

Most useful stuff I know if because of the internet, so it's pretty goated for that. No squeaky doors in my house, you fuckass hinges, wikihow gave me a hammer and y'all are just puny nails /s

Schools should just expand the stuff they teach imo, for cases like that, because im pretty sure there will be a lot more kids just like them

hey hey wtf. Why the fuck I'm being called out that way

This is me....sadly.

Hi, it's me! 👋

Ah, that is why he is incompetent and resenting me openly....

No

TV raised me

I feel very seen by this article lol