I swear I looked like a bum when I grabbed a slice of pizza with my hands because everyone was using a knife and fork, one of my worst moments

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[–] 62 points 9 months ago

What should I NOT do in front of rich people?

Care what out of touch rich fucks think.

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  • [–] 57 points 9 months ago

    What should I NOT do in front of rich people?

    Diminish yourself or your self worth

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  • [–] 50 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    Don't envy them. They can't even hold pizza

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago

    For real. Whenever I eat (Italian) pizza normally around a bunch of freaks using knife and fork I just silently rejoice about my superior cultural capital.

    And if OP is American, chances are those people don't even know how to use a knife and fork properly.

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  • [–] 72 points 9 months ago*

    You shouldn't care about their opinions of your personal habits.

    They look at you funny:
    "Fuck off werido. This is how normal people eat pizza."

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  • [–] 33 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    Rich people don't care how you eat your pizza. Stuck up people do, but you get plenty of those without money.

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  • [–] 19 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    The trick is to not care, and to confidently do it like it was the most natural thing in the world, and it clearly was.

    The world of the wealthy runs on appearances. The worst thing you can do there is to be ashamed. Arguably better is to look at them with confident disdain for using a knife and fork to eat a pizza, in much the same way that they might for someone using a soup spoon for dessert.


    For the pizza, it's arguably more regional than wealth related. In a few countries, like parts of Italy and Sweden, it's more common to eat pizza using cutlery rather than using your hands.

    Whereas for other places, like other parts of Italy, it may be more common to use your hands for it instead. It very much depends on where, and the local culture more than anything else. But using your hands is as valid as using a knife and fork.

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  • [–] 5 points 9 months ago

    I don’t know if all do, but the few French people I had pizza with, all of them used knife and fork.

    In a nice Italian restaurant in Berlin, all the people I saw used knife and fork, I did too not to fit but those pizzas had a crazy thin base and a lot of sauce and things on top, trying to pick a slice with the hand would end very badly, so maybe in other places the people would have used the hand.

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  • [–] 15 points 9 months ago

    When you're sufficiently rich, you don't even have to care about what the regular rich people think.

    You can probably adopt the habit even before you manage to reach that level of wealth

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  • [–] 15 points 9 months ago

    Why worry about the opinions of people who eat pizza with a fork‽

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  • [–] 14 points 9 months ago (3 children)

    You do not need to impress the clods who eat pizza with flatware. These people would eat a sandwich with flatware if someone "more important" did it.

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  • [–] 7 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    Reminds me of some show or movie I watched when at a wine tasting, some guy started listening to the wine with his ear and everybody copied him

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  • [–] 23 points 9 months ago

    Rich people don't like it when you believe in socialism or progressive tax rates.

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  • [–] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    Yeah should just grab it with your mouth, don’t use your hands

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  • [–] 10 points 9 months ago

    Act like they’re your superiors. They bleed and die just like poor people

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  • [–] 10 points 9 months ago (5 children)

    Have your gazpacho warmed.

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  • [–] 9 points 9 months ago

    you should probably not hock-up a nice big loogie, then swish it around your mouth for a minute like you're at a fine wine tasting event, then swallow it in one big, noisy GULP.

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  • [–] 8 points 9 months ago (4 children)

    One of the ballinest moves I ever saw was the hired band at the high-end corporate executive event where I was the cocktail waitress playing "Sixteen Tons". And not just playing it, singing it.

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  • [–] 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

    I don't think rich people would bat an eye bat and I at that unless it was targeted at them specifically.

    The internationale though, I think, might get you removed from the stage.

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    "bat an eye" ( blinking rapidly in confusion and stress, flinching)

    The Internationale (written in French, so we leave the e on even though we translate the rest)

    Perhaps you were using voice-to-type?

    I agree with both your points

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  • [–] 7 points 9 months ago

    Don't be embarrassed or insecure. They probably envy you, getting to dig in with your hands.

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  • [–] 7 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    The decorative nooses the men have around their necks are not for pulling. Usually.

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  • [–] 19 points 9 months ago (3 children)

    Knife and fork for pizza?! Did they not wash their hands or something? That sounds like something only the insane would do

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  • [–] 18 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    If you see people eating pizza with a fork you mock them. I didn't care if its your best friend, mother, or the goddamn Pope. Although the current Pope is from Chicago so he knows better than to eat pizza with a fork like some kind of filthy degenerate.

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  • [–] 16 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    Don't worry about it. Anyone that eats pizza with a knife and fork is a fucking idiot.

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  • [–] 4 points 9 months ago

    not care about their opinion

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  • [–] 4 points 9 months ago

    Giving a fuck about how you eat pizza.

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  • [–] 4 points 9 months ago

    I swear I looked like a bum when I grabbed a slice of pizza with my hands

    I used to eat pizza with chopsticks lmfao.

    I remember eating pizza with the spork thingy in school and I feel like a fucking weirdo lmfao.


    As for the question: Make sure you DO NOT FORGET TO

    🎵 SHIT ON THE FLOOR 🎵

    RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM

    THEN THROW THE SHIT AT THEIR FACE

    And make sure it get it on livestream, it'll become the most famous video of the 21st century

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  • [–] 4 points 9 months ago

    Next time, laugh in their fucking face while you scarf down a whole pie. They aren't better than you, in any way. 99.99% chance they're just luckier (which could always change).

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago* (1 child)

    I was in the Denver Art Museum riding the elevator down and shared the car with a guy who looked like he made $200k a year and his bitchy wife. She gave me the stinkeye while glaring at me while I chatted with her husband. I just squared up and gave her mid handbag and shoes a quick once over before shaking my head.

    Shit, my boots cost more than her handbag and my watch probably costs as much as her shoes. Who cares if I'm in hiking boots and some old Polo long sleeve.

    Bitch, art is for everyone. I know I'm working class but at least I buy shit that will last and is actually useful.

    So I definitely recommend you do stuff like that.

    Oh, he was definitely wearing a Rolex, but her handbag wasn't even CC

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago

    I've spent time with two billionaires and neither of them would care about stuff like that.

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  • [–] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

    WTF?!?! Were you hanging out at Mar-a-lago or something?

    PEOPLE WHO EAT PIZZA WITH A KNIFE AND FORK ARE ACTUAL ALIENS

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago

    Honestly, just take a moment to feel whatever embarassment you feel about this event and accept that it happened. You can't do anything about it now, except learn from it.

    I would say, in general, when you are in unfamiliar company you should just keep an eye on whatever everyone else is doing and follow their lead.

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    Fried chicken, too. Don't gulp, slurp. Chew with your mouth closed. Napkin in lap, elbows off table. Walk slowly and not hunched over. Look at military posture of head and shoulders. Two sentences, then a question. Cutlery use starts outside and works inward. Don't saw to cut food, don't cut more than two bites at a time, no more than a couple of cm (half inch) in size. Don't cross your legs unless it's at the ankle. No more than two glasses of wine, beer, one mixed drink.

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    you been hanging out with Epstein's friends?

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