My friend played Farmer Bob at a larp. His village had a legend that the chosen one would come from the village to defeat the great evil. When things got bad enough they picked him because he was the only one who was literate at the time, so they figured that was heroic enough.

Anyone who's had a player who's "an [X] trying to convince the party they're a [Y]" is probably having PTSD flashbacks now.

It sounds funny to read about but in my experience players who commit to constantly gaslighting fictional characters are not team players and always willing to spoil the fun of others.

I would love to see the werewolf play the pompous know-it-all: "Um, actually the idea that the moon causes the change is a superstition. It's a body cycle that often coincidentally matches up with the full moon. People just remember the times during the full moon because of confirmation bias."

Heard one on the weekend - a party of warlocks who are all each other's patrons through the power of friendship.

"If the moon is real how come I always black out when it is allegedly supposed to appear?"

The peasant farmer I’ve played as a halfling artificer with halfling luck. He never improved much, aside from rolling with the punches a bit better. In fact, he hadn’t any clue what his equipment was or how it worked. Things just kept happening for him and the party refused to let him leave.

The running joke was that he’s lucky enough to stumble into unfathomable power, wealth, and fame, but not lucky enough to find the mundane life of peace he was looking for.

My sister has, no joke, played as a sentient fucking sandwich.

I've been that druid 😂 except I diversified my inventory after picking up circle of spores

Most of these are just gimmick characters that will have one fun interaction with the group and then become useless. They can be used for one-shots, but not full campaigns.

Like the dragonborn one, after the initial interaction where they explain the skin condition. Most players will just go "okay" and move on.

Except for the sentient hat one. That has a mystery attached and you can keep changing the mannequin throughout. Maybe it also works on a mop or barrel.

I played a Protector Aasimar Barbarian named Krill who was a fairly average scholar who had decided studying wasn’t for him. He heard somebody talking about “Power Word Krill,” and decided that he wanted to learn how to do it. He would basically go along with the party on everything (sometimes a little too quickly, he was hard to kill and often forgot others were squishier), but was absolutely obsessed with finding Power Word Krill.

He was asked multiple times if he was instead looking for “Power Word Kill,” but he really wanted to summon a lot of small crustaceans on demand. Or maybe it would just summon a big one, he didn’t know and was fine with either situation.

I would totally buy drugs from a druid named Violetbriar or Shroombeard...

Fuck, now I gotta roll new characters...

These are fantastic. The hat+mannequin seems like it would have a lot of RP potential. Ditto for the midlife crisis.

There's a longer and better version of this that has a fanart of it

I've done the peasant farmer, who left his farm and took off to be a cleric. He never had the knack for farming like his brother, and when a passing cleric told him about the wonders of his deity, old Jeb was enthralled. The cleric was nice enough to even sell Jeb, promised to be the genuine article, his very own holy symbol for all Jeb's coins and a pair of chickens. His brother said he was a gullible fool, but Jeb was sure he had seen his true path. Gave up the farm and hit the road looking for enlightenment. It was actually a fun character, too bad the campaign slowly died off because people couldn't make it to the sessions.

In Pathfinder, as a Tanuki you can take a feat called Teakettle Form that allows you to change into a inanimate object (like a hat) and if you're a witch you can have your familiar take a humanoid form.

I love these soooo much.

I basically did the farmer once. My character was a winemaker with barely any skills that would be useful on an adventure. When his sister's fiance and that fiance's cousin - both wizards - got invited to visit some rich uncle at the other end of the realm, he took the chance to see a bit more of the world. By the time they arrived, the uncle had been killed by demons and my character basically got stuck at "I want to go home" and "Can we just let the inquisition handle this?"

Edit: to be fair, this wasn't D&D but The Dark Eye, so a lot more social and knowledge based skills that can make a non-fighting character useful.

Hey, I came up with the peasant farmer idea myself, like 10 years ago.

My character was this: A 36 year old blond guy, he farms watermelons and sells them at the village square. He is married with two kids but has a very selfish and idiotic personality. Leaves his family behind to "make his own destiny". Always says pseudo-inspirational shit. He is a rogue but extremely clumsy and often has trouble with how he carries himself, he is the opposite of smooth.

Only one that's terrible is the washboard bard, but that's just my personal dislike of the horny bard trope

A druid who got involved because they're the party's weed dealer.

Isn't that the plot of Dazed and Confused?

A werewolf who doesn't believe in the moon.

This would play out as an unintentional (or intentional) allegory for addiction, and the denial that masks it. The party would very likely form an intervention of some sort. I mean, they'd have to. After the third werewolf attack or so, it starts to become a real problem.

They're terrible on their own, in an otherwise regular(lol) campaign. Together, as a party, they form something magical

Depending on peasants’ lifespans in this world, the peasant with the midlife crisis could be just out of their teens

Giant snails in 5e can be defeated by a Commoner throwing rocks. They have a speed of 10 feet and an AC of 15 while in their shell. The same trick even works on both versions of a Flail Snail, though it takes longer.

I got a DM to let me play a 3.5e ninja but lie to the party and tell them I was a bard.

My wife is currently playing an asamar druid that was a drug dealer to the noble families of baldurs gate lol

Fuck that’s cool

The peasant farmer always gets underestimated but kicks ass.

I want this as a Dimension 20 series so bad.

A bard who is a wrestling jobber that pretends to get his ass kicked by the rest of the party so they look to bad ass to fuck with.

my horny bard played spoons but go off

Make D&D great again

One of my characters I hope to play some day is a half orc hexblade warlock who doesn't realize he has magic powers or that he made a pact. His "casting" involves yelling intimidatingly and waving his arms, sometimes throwing certain things.

If anyone asks where he got his favorite axe (which is always conveniently "on his back" when he needs it, despite him constantly forgetting it), he'll explain that he traded part of his shoe for it.

Any party members that try to explain his pact are met with disbelief or confused facial expressions before he inevitably moves on.

The bard is a hick who wears overalls, is named Beauregard ("Beau" to his friends), and charms the underpants off of various people and creatures of all kinds with his unassuming and innocent, natural "aw shucks" charm.

Secretly, he's a perv from a big city putting on an act.

Yo why this post out here hating on my boi 035?