I can't find my wallet and I'm hungry and I need to get groceries

Update: I found it behind the freezer in my basement, must have fallen behind there while I was changing for work. Unfortunately I already applied for replacements of all the cards inside, but there was $45 cash inside so that's neat

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[–] 50 points 1 year ago

bro your literally posting this from your wallet. smh my head dude

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  • [–] 38 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    Have you checked your butthole?

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  • [–] 33 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I once saw a duck steal a wallet out of a woman's bag and waddle off with it.

    The same could have happened to YOU.

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  • [–] 26 points 1 year ago (1 child)
  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    Fr tho, I love these Airtags and Samsung tags they made, maybe bad for privacy and its kinda shitty they force you to use their ecosystem, but it's great if your pets are mischievous and wants to hide and/or escape, and you don't want to oay a monthly fee or change the battery every week. (Don't get the Google Tags, those are unusable)

    I hate iOS, so Samsung is the only other devil there is in town if I want to track my items (and my cat). (I know they are the devil but their shit works, so... 🤷‍♂️)

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  • [–] 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Have you checked the last place you look yet?

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    [–] 17 points 1 year ago

    gnomes are holding it ransom until you right the wrong you committed against them

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  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago

    Have you looked in the hood of a Ford Fusion in Minnesota?

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago

    My son once took all the cards our of my wallet and put them in the printer/scanner that we never use. I only found out 2 years later when I finally went to print something and there was a jam, opened the scanner lid to get inside and boom.

    Could be there.

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    You ate it out of hunger and forgot about it. Happens to the best of us.

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    [–] 10 points 1 year ago

    Check your car between the seat and the door, or the seat and center console. This happened to me once, then a couple years later to a neighbor, so I was able to help him find his.

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  • [+] 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)
  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago

    Have you tried utilizing A* algorithm as a basis for your search pattern yet?

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago

    I've found my wallet is often where I first looked, just covered in other junk so I didn't see it. Also, if you drive, check the crack between the seat and the door. Hope that helps!

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago

    Check your laundry. And places where you might set things down when moving laundry around.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Are you walking funny .... ?

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago*

    I legit think I tossed my wallet in the dumpster one time while scrambling to get ready for a backpacking trip. I never ended up finding it, and we lived in a fairly small apartment so I think it indeed ended up in the landfill. Anyways, good luck!

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  • [+] 7 points 1 year ago (1 child)
  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago

    Did you leave it in your car?

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago

    Have you looked in Nature's Pocket?

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    clearly it must be in the dishwasher

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago

    Mine once fell out of my pants while I was sitting at my office chair. It ended up perched on the bar that connects the seat back the seat bottom. There is a 3 inch gap between the back and the bottom otherwise. It took me a week to find it, and right before i was about to cancel everything. I only found it because i bumped the chair and it jiggled free.

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago

    Somewhere special that you've never put it before, so you wouldn't forget where it was

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    Slid between the bed and the wall.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    Did you leave it in your other pants/purse/jacket?

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    Did you happen to leave it under the hood of a car you worked on earlier?

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Elsweyr, have you checked? Might be there, might not.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    check the fridge

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    Wait, that was yours? Oops...say if you see a transaction record from Gritty Down Under just forget it

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    I don't know, but annoyingly my wallet/keys/phone tends to always be in the last place I look.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    Did you check your pockets?

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  • [+] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)
  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Well this isn't helpful, he can't check your nightstand if you don't post your address.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    it fell out of your pocket when you sat down

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    First things first. You need some food to sustain you while you search for the wallet. Do you have a leather belt or some shoes or anything like that you can boil and eat? It's only a temporary fix, but trust me, you'll have a much clearer head after you get some tanned animal hide into your system. Next priority: finding that wallet. What you need to do is go to the last place you had it and then retrieve it from there. Most people never realize that one very simple and effective trick, instead spending far too much time searching places where they had their wallet slightly-to-somewhat before it was lost.

    Finally, always remember to troubleshoot and isolate the root of the issue. If you need your credit card, and you reach for your wallet only to find your wallet is missing, you have two separate problems. Your wallet can be found by following the steps I shared earlier, but you credit card might be in an entirely different place and it's the credit card that you needed right now. Keep your eyes on the prize.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago*

    Is it in a car?
    Is it in a bar?
    Is it in a bag?
    I'm sorry you've hit a snag.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    According to QI, if you look around and constantly say "wallet" out loud, your chances of not overlooking it increase. Can also help with recalling where you last remember seeing/interacting with it.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (1 child)
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    [–] 3 points 1 year ago (1 child)
  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    If you're not at home, did you leave it at home this morning? If you're at home, have you checked the laundry pile?

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    This happens to me two or three times a week. Check your other hand.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    The troll under the bridge took it.

    U Mad Bro?

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    We're on lemmy, we're all commie, so we don't have neither wallets nor money, and collectively re-appropriate what she capitalists stole us when needing something.

    It's part of term of use, you had to throw your wallet away before joining

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (2 children)

    Hey, JFP, the internet wants to know if you found your wallet? And if yes, where was it?

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I have not, and I'm actually considering the possibility that I'll have to replace it

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    Oh no!!! I hope it turns up tonight, from under the couch or something.

    Oh, hey, easy way to check under/behind furniture, if you're un-agile like me: turn recording on on your phone, then bend over and pan your phone past the area you want to check, then watch the video.

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