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I believe the dwarves are the ones who shit gold, they turn ore into gold. A dragon will attack a weakened dwarf nest, kill the dwarf drones and eat the dwarf larva. Only then will it start seeking out cows, once it has depleted this bounty. This is a good thing in the long run, it keeps disease from spreading rampant between the dwarf broods
Then they curl up and sleep on a pile of their own shit? Im not disagreeing, I'm just a little shocked.
This could be an interesting story where the heroes find out the dragon is imprisoned and being farmed for its gold poop and decide to rescue it.
Imprisoned by an evil princess of course!
"Daddy's kingdom was failing and I refuse to lower my living standards, so I found a solution."
And to keep it from trusting potential saviours, she sends out cries for help that include "slay the dragon keeping me captive" so that the dragon gets used to attacking heroes on sight instead of talking it out so they understand that's going on.
Sooo we presume then that different food turns into jewels? What about magic items, do the items go in mundane and come out magic?
That's all left behind by the adventurers trying to steal the gold. But the vast majority of the hoard is always gold.
See, I was thinking that dragons were eating adventurers and pooping the gold they carried. ...but then I realized that they'd also be pooping swords and whatnot. I reread the meme and it didn't mention the rest of a dragon's hoard (etc doesn't count). Then I started wondering about the digestive system of dragons. So I'm sure you can see how these mindless memes can lead to a conversation.
Ok there are bad news. Your theory makes a lot of sense when we just evaluate input and output of a dragons den. The problem is that gold is atomically more stable (Au: B/A=7.936 MeV) than carbon (C: B/A=7.468 MeV). That means that you have to explain a huge amount of energy this process consumes. This is alongside the energy that the dragon uses to live and even wastes in the whole fire spitting situation.
Their GI tract is very slow and live live a very long time. They shit like a parking meter, a nickel an hour.
The fire spitting isn't a waste, the dragon (s)melts and eats rock to create/enlarge its lair. Not sure how those minerals affect your chemistry.
When you eat herds of cows you get enough energy to fuse gold.
Fusing your waste to gold has the evolutionary advantage of not causing any pollution around your home.
The fire spitting is extra. And where do you think he gets it from? Magic. And magic can ignore other physical rules too, so why should it stop at energy-conservation?
Ok, no. I'm calling bullshit on two fronts:
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If a dragon is hungry, it's eating the cow right there. So you're not gonna see a dragon carrying a cow in the first place. If it has babies too young to hunt, it's puking it up for them.
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How do you think a dragon would carry gold coins? Clamped in their claws as they fly?? No, dummy, they'd hold it in their gullet and spit it out in the pile. So no duh you've never seen one carrying gold. Humans don't have x-ray vision.
When I'm hungry I don't eat the hotpockets right there in the grocery store
Well yeah, but the dragon isn't picking up a prepackaged frozen cow from the grocery store either
Would you eat a strawberry if you found a strawberry bush?
Eating a cow in the open field you found it in is just asking for some passing knight to come vanquish you. Better to bring it back to your own table to feast.
Alright you've got me there
But if a dragon's lair was anything like mine, they'd be stocking up on creatures from the frozen north and using that fire breath to reheat them later
No, I don't trust outside food without washing it first.
I also don't eat food at the grocery store, but I see other people do it.
But also dragons are famous for knowing the exact content of their treasure down to a coin.
Does it make them psychotic coprophiliac hoarders?
It's actually golden showers. They urinate gold.
Dragon piss bottles confirmed.
It makes sense to keep track of where you shit if you don't have plumbing.
Unless you are a wizard in JK Rowling's universe. In which case you shit straight on the floor and then magically disintegrate the expelled waste. Yes, that's what she wrote.
Dragons acquired their hoards by threatening to terrorize local villages if they didn't pay its "Won't Burninate Your Thatched Roof Cottages" tax.
That sounds ridiculous. Do you know how complicated that would be biologically? Completely unrealistic.
I mean - the fire ones do I have on-board smelters
Magic nuclear bio-fusion machine. Why do you think they breath fire?
Hey, I just wanted to stop by and make sure you know that dragons aren't actually real and never existed on this planet.
Gold is a pure element, so that's not a sound argument.
You see, each dragon's digestive tract contains a magically miniaturized neutron star. When a cow carcass comes in contact with the star-stomach, it's compressed into more neutronium, and the sudden addition of mass sets off a starquake that ejects hot atoms of gold and other valuable metals into the dragon's conveniently coin-shaped colon, where it cools before exiting at the rear.
That's probably how it works. I dunno, I'm not a dragonologist.
I reject the notion that a creature born with a magically miniaturized neutron star need calories.
The gold is tribute, right? Give me gold every year and I won't eat you
Or, going by The Hobbit, the gold was just lying around next to all these dwarf skeletons when the dragon moved in
Awfully generous of Smaug to keep an eye on it, in case anyone tried to sneak in and steal it
Yes but the book explains smaug was drawn there by its riches. Dragons are just greed metaphors after all though the question remains of dragons are drawn to riches themselves or the aura of greed of those who amassed it.
This is actually where the aptly-named Dragon Diamonds come from in the Lunar games. I don't think the protagonists ever figure it out.
They breathe fire from nuclear fusion. And can fly from all the helium that the nuclear processes generate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0j0Bjy6hFc - How dragons fly and breath fire from Flight of Dragons
Considering its all usually in coins you can spend in town, is the implication that a dragon's colon is a national treasury mint?
Never thougth about that and yet I agree with them. I'm gonna get a dragon and solve world hunger with it 🤯
"I'm gonna solve world hunger by feeding..."
"The hungry?
"...this singular dragon that I found!!"
And then it still manages to work.
Of course you never see them bring home gold. The only thing dragons fear is the tax man. Stealing a cow just annoys the commoners, stealing gold annoys the government. Gotta hide the riches
maybe it's just regular shit but they use a lot of turmeric in their cuisine.

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