Wtf??? That worthless fucking ghoul is still alive???

This is an absolute ass timeline...

Reporters and photographers were told by Senate staff not to take video of his remarks in the second-floor hallway, even though video is often permitted in that area. Still images were allowed.

From the AP article

Something is fucked for sure with this and they are all covering it up

Ooh, they've done a really good job on him. You can't even see the strings!

Somehow, Mitch McConnell returned

“My recovery has been a long and often frustrating process, and the lingering effects of childhood polio haven’t made it any easier,” McConnell said

He's old enough to have had polio.

He heard a vote about paid sick leave was presented, and so had to come in and vote against.

He's a Chucky Cheese animatronic.

Are we sure it’s not a clone of Mitch, or a ghola perhaps.

The only vegetable in America that hasn’t been recalled.

The only thing that makes sense to me is he's completely unable to speak. Other than that, no idea why everything would have unfolded the way it did and is.

Edit: He's talking too. Something stinks. Not saying it's not him, but there's something being hidden for sure.

Death, are you sure you don't need glasses?

Fuck it mate, we'll pay for your lasik if you want.

Just drop dead already

True mental illness. Go home and enjoy your last fucking 15 days on this earth.

Finally worked the bugs out of the Mitch Droid, it's ready for public viewing.

Clock is still ticking motherfucker

When everyone wants you to die but your will to spite them is stronger.

How long can they move him around before the wire implants degrade?

One of two things are happening here:

Or

It will outlive us all, the Mitchbot-800

Rigor mortis is the only thing that keeps him sitting up.

American gerontocracy.

They took only three months to finalize the clone? I'm impressed!

Some one brought something up when I shared to discord;

he's a millionaire, why is he riding around in a Travel Wheelchair? (cheapest, least comfortable option, usually only used when travelling for the fact that it can be collapsed quite small for car journeys)

friday night at Mitchs. giving FEINSTEIN vibes, she was barely there when she had shingles encephalitis.

I'm here for all the paid leave jokes

He looked so much better in those proof of life pictures from a month ago….

For all we know, he could be brain dead.

Someone paint ACME on his chair and wait for falling boulders.

Hey, at least Lindsay Graham is burning in eternal shadow flame. Small consolation, I know, but I have no choice but to take it.

One of the worst Americans in the history of this country. Hopefully he doesn't last much longer.

He does already look like a corpse, just look at those legs.

Impressive job on the doctors' part, if nothing else...

clone status

Or just cut the middleman and make sure he is 🤷‍♂️

Allegedly*

So, no conspiracy theory about his recovery involving eating children brain parts or some shit?

This has to be the first time in history that the memes were wrong

Looks better than Diane Feinstein did at the end though.