In the Holy name of Da Bears, I swear on The Bean I will deliver smack down so hard, your grandchildren will taste celery salt and pickles! I'll waterboard you in Old Style until you see reason, ya cheesehead!

Ketchup and English mustard is great. Just don't apply the mustard like an America.

Middle

Well yeah, I didn’t say it’s a good idea. And as of covid days, practically every interaction type you can think up will piss someone off to an irrational, performative and base instinct level that makes some wonder if humanity had a good run but it’s all downhill from here.

I'm pretty sure that's only specific states or locales in the USA with liability laws for over serving. But also good luck to the prosecution proving a single bartender or establishment was the reason a person was overly intoxicated. In my non lawyer opinion a simple defense of "idk if she drank more before or after showing up or was on any drugs" would probably be more than enough to give reasonable doubt. But IANAL so maybe I'm off base.

I've never actually heard of a case of that being prosecuted in Ohio (where I live and we have laws about overserving customers). I'm sure if I look it up I could find something but it just seems like the sort of thing an AG would have difficulty getting charges to stick.

Maybe it's rur... rurality?

While I did sometimes get way too drunk in city bars too, usually that would have been with a group and had far less exciting adventures.

Also, it occurred to me that there's a pretty large slice of those times where I was blackout, so maybe I was cut off many more times than I remember.

😮‍💨 I kinda regret commenting about it. Starting to remember a lot of embarrassing shit

Is that different to what we call a cupcake in NZ?

Do you ride sidesaddle as well?

Doctor: Uh So, Timmy, I got your bloodwork in, and I have a couple of questions.

Timmy: Okay.

Doctor: Just about how many hot dogs do you eat a day?

Timmy: How many hot dogs?

Doctor: Yeah.

Timmy: Geez. I don't know. I mean, you know, some days I could eat a couple and some days I don't eat any.

Doctor: Okay. Let's just say for an average. Take your whole week and try to figure out what your daily amount would be.

Timmy: I have no idea.

Doctor: Just try.

Timmy: Okay. A whole week average per day would be something like, I don't know, seven.

Doctor: Seven hot dogs?

Timmy: Seven, yeah.

Doctor: A day?

Timmy: ls that high?

Doctor: It's a little high.

Timmy: ls that bad?

Doctor: Well It's not good.

Timmy: I mean, l'm just ball-parking here, you know?

Doctor: Sure, sure. Timmy, I wanna try something if you don't mind. Walk me through one of your days.

Timmy: Walk you through my day?

Doctor: Yeah, just take me through a day in a life of Timmy.

Timmy: Okay. Well I wake up, and I take a shower. And, you know, get ready for work. I go downstairs and I have a bagel and something for breakfast.

Doctor: And something?

Timmy: A hot dog.

Doctor: Hot dog. Okay.

Timmy: I mean, I do usually eat a hot dog there.

Doctor: Okay.

Timmy: Then I take the train to work.

Doctor: Slow down. Slow down. Does anything happen on the way to work?

Timmy: Oh. Ha ha. I almost forgot. On the way to the subway there is a hotdog stand, so I usually have one or two, yeah.

Doctor: Two hot dogs.

Timmy: Yeah. I usually have two hotdogs before work.

Doctor: So that's three hot dogs before work.

Timmy: Right, yeah. If you're gonna count the one at home. I mean, this is all just breakfast, you know?

Doctor: No, I understand. I get it.

Timmy: Then I just go through my whole day at work.

Doctor: Okay.Hold up. Walk me through your workday. What happens at lunch?

Timmy: Oh, lunch, well I mean, some days I'll just blow through lunch because of how busy I am and all.

Doctor: Really?

Timmy: Well l'm pretty sure I did that once.

Doctor: Okay. Well, on the days that you're not ''blowing through lunch'' what do you have?

Timmy: Well, on those days sometimes it could just be a salad.

Doctor: Could it?

Timmy: Yeah. But it's usually--

Doctor: It's usually hot dogs?

Timmy: Yeah, it's usually hot dogs.

Doctor: How many hot dogs?

Timmy: I don't know. Anywhere between one and four.

Doctor: Four hot dogs.

Timmy: Yeah, that's probably safe.

Doctor: Well, I hope there's no more hot dogs in the day 'cause we're up to seven now.

Timmy: Yeah, on second thought, that number might be a little low.