I honestly can't tell what's real any more. Which is the whole idea, I guess.

Wait wait wait, so he's simultaneously blockading AND opening the strait?

Dafuq?

Holy fuck, he really IS declining fast. The language in this post is even dumber and more childlike than normal. We gotta get this fucker out of the WH.

Now open the strait of Epstein you fat fuck

*me, punching you in the face:

"Aren't you glad I'm helping?"

Trump's tweets become 10x funnier and 20x more sad when you read them in Chris Chan's voice

I'm very good at translating idiot speak and even I don't get it. He's declining fast.

So because China said fuck you were going through the strait anyways, he's taking credit for their entering? Lol The Nuh uh, is too strong with that one.

Its real

Every time Trump makes a tweet, I cannot gauge whether it's fake or real. How can a nation elect something like that?

*Women are actually pretty happy that I’ve decided to finally treat them with respect. I’m doing it for them, sure — but also for myself, and honestly for society as a whole. This kind of situation won’t happen again. They’ve basically agreed to respond better to me now that I’m acting different. I mean, when I show up, they’ll probably appreciate it — maybe not say it outright, but you can tell.

We’re working together now, in a smarter way, and it’s going really well! Isn’t that better than all the conflict and rejection??? BUT REMEMBER, I could go back to how things were before if I wanted to — I just don’t, because I’m choosing the better path now.*

Jesus fuckin christ, it's like a child wrote it. I was sure this was fake, it had to be fake. I just wish it was fake.

I'd like to see Trump fight. It'd be funny.

"I know fighting. NOBODY knows more about fighting than me. I was at the MMZ the other night. Big guys came up to me, tears in their eyes, "MR PRESIDENT, can you give me some advice for my next fight?"

"Don't get in the octagone with everybody's favourite president", I told him. I meant it as a joke. I do that self-depreciating humour, because I'm so humble. Lot of people don't think I am, but I am. I don't like to brag, but I'm the best at self-depreciting. Believe me. Believe me.

Anyway, you could tell from the fear in his eyes he thought I was serious. Which is okay. If I was there, it would be MY ring. I wouldn't want to be in my ring with me either".

Spoken like a true toddler.

...This just cannot be real.

That's not from Trump. While it uses his phrasing, sort of, the whole thing stays on one point and is generally cohesive.

Alright granddad, let's get you to bed.

Because Melania never hugs him off camera.

I mean I mostly understand this but God damn that title makes me think I had a stroke.

He saw money being exchanged for passage and he's such an entrepreneur he copied the idea

I bet he really likes big, fat....hugs.