I'm in the capital with the girlfriend.

Our arrival was tribulated, but well, that's life sometimes. It was still fun!

I hope to have even more fun tomorrow Hahaha!!!!!

I wore jeans.

Sometimes, these thoughts assault me. I talk too much! I definitely talk too much.

People very rarely have told me I talk too much, and I do believe I'm a generally pleasant person, I try to be anyway, but often I hear myself and I can't help but find my own voice, my lame jokes, my witless commentary, my mean jabs, to be utterly intolerable. I feel mean and insensitive and, perhaps most and worst of all, a ceaseless yapper.

My girlfriend says it's fine, and that she likes how much each of us talk, but I always remember me talking to her, and barely her talking to me. Of course, we discuss a lot of things, there's many times we've discussed things, and it was a true dialogue, but so often I find myself speaking and she does reply, she's a very active listener and she's engaged, but she doesn't really speak as much, introduce topics or talk about random things as much.

I feel like I want to hear other people more. I need to shut up more!

I don't know...

Maybe I talk too much. I think it's fine, but maybe I should dial it back just a little bit, see how it goes, maybe I like it better being a little quieter, listening a little more.

I wore my black trousers! Jeans are slowly losing ground in my wardrobe (I say as I prepare to wear jeans 3 days in a row).

Tomorrow I set out to the capital to go to a cinema festival with the girlfriend. Shouts out me! And her, of course. And movies, perchance. I'll also meet with a friend on Sunday! Hype about that.

Today, not much happened once more, but slowly I'm getting in a groove, I feel like.

Every day blends into every other day, and all I do is live for Friday and for the weekend. Is this life at a real job? Maybe, I suppose, but more likely, if I had something to look forward to at home, things would be a little better. I'm thinking of a better life, and how to reach it, and I can definitely think of ways there, and I believe I'll get there by continuing on this path. I just need to properly calculate what I'm gonna do, evaluate the field, check it and advance.

It feels nice to have a goal. It is something to look forward to, in a way.

I wore jeans today.

Basically every day is a little boring, now. Well, except for Friday and my weekends, but the the rest are boring... We do basically nothing all day, nothing new, we learn barely anything, and everything is so basic and repetitive and, perhaps worst of all, meaningless. We won't use it for work, and we won't use it in our daily life.

Mind you, I do value learning, so I am enjoying some of this some of the time. It's fun and interesting to find out how some of the backstage works in tech, but it's just so frustrating to sit there for hours upon hours and "learn", meaning listen to someone speak interminably about some random thing, and then maybe do some too-easy exercise... It's painful. There's so much I'd love to be doing that I can't. And then, worst of all, is that I want to get good grades, so I actually have to study a little!!!!!! Tragic.

Regardless, talking with my girlfriend is at least fun. I can't wait to see her again this Friday. We're going on a little trip.

I wore jeans, the light ones.

Through a perhaps not-so-unfortunate turn of events, I was unable and/or unwilling to make my daily posts.

The past three nights I have spent with my newly minted girlfriend, and the night before that I was so terribly exhausted, which combined with a late night and an early morning to realize me simply forgetting to post.

Though, to be fair, I don't have that much to report, I suppose. I've been living life and feeling nice. Things are to come, and things are to happen, but as things go and as things are, things are fine. I feel I'm making progress at work and that I'm well-liked, and I think my relationship is good. We were great friends already and that's remained true, so that's great.

I plan to finally spend at least 1 hour reading tomorrow. Finally, finally. Besides that, not much more.

I feel like life has been taking my time away. This feels like a weird thing to say, of course, because life is what you spend time on. Or rather, time is spent regardless of what you do, but the best thing you could possibly spend it on is life. Experiencing things, doing things, learning things, being, living. That's what good time looks like. Still, I just feel like I'm so much. I'm so much. There's so much I want to do, so much I haven't done, things I have prioritized or left to rot, habits I've built and let die, and I hate that. I want to keep things up, but it's so hard. It's so hard to spend my time wisely, so exhausting to keep going.

I really need to find a way to relax and have fun, meaning, having fun by relaxing instead of by doing or acting, or engaging. I need to just chill. Sit and enjoy the view or something. Not go for a walk but just sit on a rock, sort of.

It's hard to balance everything...

I wore jeans. All the days I haven't posted I wore jeans, I think. Maybe one of those days I wore my black trousers, I don't know!

I feel good, overall. I think. I'm tired. I feel a little overextended, actually. I need to pull back and slow down. I'm having fun, but I suppose there really is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

I fear I bombed my exam. Well, I definitely didn't "bomb", but I feel I did worse than everyone else, and that's frustrating... I wish I had studied a bit more. I could've done better! And these grades really matter, so this is just silly, I knew that, I needed to work harder.

Anyway, I feel happy nevertheless, to be honest. It's OK. Also, I scheduled a meeting with a old friend when my girlfriend travels outside the country, so that's great :D I wanted to reconnect for a long time, and I finally got my way Hahaha! It's good that I'm connecting with people, I think that's really good. I hope it goes well.

I wore jeans today, but the lighter jeans this time around. The other ones were getting a little dirty, so they're in the wash.

Still feeling pretty good.

I think life, in general, is a matter of taking what you can get. I feel I've been very fortunate to get many things, many great things. I feel I've taken what I can get. Was that terrible English right there? I think so... Whatever.

I have an exam tomorrow. No pressure, really, but I'm a little nervous. Excited, perhaps. I'll need to study a little still, tomorrow morning, and then just give it my all, see what happens.

I'm happy, I really am.

Things move slowly, and sometimes not at all. Things change, and sometimes they stay the same. Sometimes they change while staying the same, would you believe it!

I'll just try to keep being honest and earnest in my relationships, and honest and earnest in setting and pursuing my goals :D

Great advice there.

I wore my black trousers today, and my nice flower tie :D Very pwettyyyyyyy!!!!!

It's me, the notorious goal-achiever, here to report having achieved another goal.

So, for a long while now, about 3 months, I've been hanging out non-stop with a long-time friend. We reconnected not that long ago, maybe a little over a year, a year and a half, after having been friends for some time during uni. Long story short, we're now a couple.

Pretty interesting development, I'd say. I mentioned a few days ago, a few weeks ago really, that my friend (same individual) said that I should aim for a girlfriend, and should do so without succumbing to my ever-terrible tendency to overcategorize everything. What's the difference between a girlfriend and great friend? Very little, I say, besides the commitment. Her argument was that I shouldn't try to look for a girlfriend, but rather I should just meet people, hang out with people I like, and see what happens. Just do what I want to do, do what feels right, and everything will turn out alright. Well, she was right; she's also now my girlfriend. Funny.

Anyway, this is fine. It's a little stressful for me, since I now feel some additional responsibility towards her, I guess, but in general I think our relationship will just keep going as it is. We have been very, very close. So close that the people around us definitely assume we're a couple, even if we weren't officially until yesterday. My point is that I have committed, which means there are dues to be paid in that I'm expected to conduct myself in a way becoming of her, as well as consider her family planning ideas for the long-haul. I think she's quite serious about this, and to be frank, I think she might be so obscenely out of my league that letting her go would be blasphemy. Meaning I'm gonna have to mentally prepare myself to be a father in the next, let's say, 6 to 7 years (intentional).

I guess I'll just see how things develop. I have not much interest in sex, and she does, so that's something that I'm going to try to accommodate. She's already made it clear that we can take things at my pace, so it's great to see she's accommodating me as well. We know each other pretty well, so it's good that she accepts that. She even said that she foresaw this sort of sexual hesitancy on my part and just sighed and went along with it. We'll see, we'll see.

We have lots of plans and I'm very excited.

I asked her, maybe a little rough of a question but I felt it should be asked, if we could remain friends if things didn't go well between us. She said no, because some romantic shit. Anyway, I think she means it. If we don't work out, it might be something quite serious that she can't overlook, because she will really try to make it work even through things less convenient and to her liking. That kind of shook me, because this feels very casual. It feels almost surreal. It's happening, and it's normal and it's OK, but it's very loose. There's very little tying us together, basically only mutual affection, which to be fair is plenty, but it's also a little brittle. If she just loses interest in me, well, will we just stop being friends?! I don't want to lose a friend over this. Being in a relationship, a committed, serious romantic and sexual relationship with such a dear friend feels like putting all my eggs in the same shabby basket.

I do like her very much, so I suppose it's fine.

I'll have to call my granny about this, unfortunately. She'll be annoying about it.

I wore jeans, today!

Today started off quite terrible.

I forgot to work out, then I dropped my phone and cracked my screen terribly, then we were almost late for our training session... Well, not so bad, I suppose, as we were not actually late.

I always feel so awkward talking to people. Just a horrible feeling.

After work, I was late meeting my friend, but it was OK. We had dinner, though actually neither me nor my friend actually ate, we just chatted and two other people with us were the ones eating. It was OK. It was fun, but very stressful and a little overwhelming. But it was OK.

Well, I don't know. I think... I think it's good for me to do this sort of stuff.

It's stressful, but for the best, probably.

I wore jeans.

I'm tired... But at least there's sushi tomorrow.

My days are a little monotonous. At least today was a little fun, doing some math.

I often feel like, the more I speak with people, the more I feel like they're all just idiots. It's not always the case, but people just seem so slow sometimes. It's a little upsetting. I have this fantasy of speaking with someone and being understood so clearly, so transparently, that I barely need to say what I think. I can just hint at it and wave my hands around and the idea gets across.

Communication is so frustrating. I feel like I have to pry people's inner worlds out of them, kind of like I have to squeeze mine out, shape it carefully, put it in the oven and then quickly fry it (for flavour) before actually letting others engage with it, otherwise they're just confused.

I don't think I'm particularly complex. I think I'm actually quite boring and empty.

This frustrates me.

I wore my black trousers. Long time no black trousers.

I feel routine taking place.

Truthfully, things aren't really that routine for me, objectively speaking, but I do feel that there's very little variety to my days. I need to read more, as I always do need to read more, but also I need to do more things! Exercise, read, learn things, think more... Time runs from me and I stumble as I chase it.

Anyway... I feel good, overall.

I wore my dark corduroy trousers.

Today, my friend made plans for the weekend after after next.

That's right. The one after AFTER next!!!!! We spend a lot of time together on the weekends, but somehow I didn't expect us to have things planned damn near a month in advance. That's the situation, though.

Next weekend we'll go to a jazz concert and watch a movie, the one after that we'll spend the day at a cool place here in the city, probably also watch a movie, and the one after (which is the one after after next, if you're keeping count) we'll take a trip down to the capital to go to a cinema festival and check out some art exhibits.

I feel so blessed! Work is easy (for now, we're getting paid to learn, still), my colleagues are kind and cool and smart, and my dear friend cares about me and wants to spend more time with me. I'm just... Over the moon. I feel really good.

I wore jeans!