100% this. I got this dude who always messages me “hi” when he needs something but doesn’t bother to include what the fuck he needs. I told him, politely, once you can just include everything up front at once and I’ll answer as soon as I can. I just won’t respond to just “hi”. Like fucking hi yourself.

When I share that I ignore people who messages with only a "hi", certain people get real upset. I used to try to be considerate like, "Oh I need to change my communication style" but after a while, I realized every person who gets upset by it was a egotistical asshole in the first place who thinks everyone should wait for them.

So yeah, say what you want to say. I'm not here for you.

Works every time

I set that as my status in Teams along with a little message "Please don't just say hi. I might not see your follow up" and checked the box to make it show on chats. It's definitely helped. Also got someone to complain that I was ignoring them, but they just said "hi" and nothing else so my boss sided with me that they were wasting my time without actually asking a question.

i second that. but in phone calls from colleages i hate the "hey, got a moment?" too. i wouldn't have answered otherwise, or i might have told you i would call you back in a few minutes within my first line?

this is my status message. usually I don't have it showing by default, but when somebody does this I toggle it lol

I swore there was a version that was a lot more aggressive and in your face.

I looked at the other ones; I think that nohello.club might be a bit more useful, in a catching-flies-with-honey kinda way.

Imagine calling someone on the phone, going hello! then putting them on hold...

My sister actually does this. I feel like it should be some sort of prank or social experiment, but I fear it's not.

Nah, hi back just before you knock off. As in send hi, log out, go home.

This probably isn't an audience that needs to hear this - but you can add a line break with ALT+Enter in Teams.

Getting a flood of short messages instead of 2 paragraphs drives me crazy.

I'm the opposite ... I put my request in first and then do my pleasantries:

"could you look into this for me?"

"btw good morning"

I swear bosses do this intentionally. It gets brought up so often in various places that it would be impossible not to understand the effect it has on their employees, and they get off on it.

The true appropriate response, unless you're being paid to be on call, is to wait until you clock in the next day, THEN respond.

If you're not being paid to work, why do it?

Just saying "Hi" back five minutes later already throws them off and they'll come back to you the next day.

You're welcome to start with "Hi", "Hello" or even "Greetings, my lord" but please don't just leave it at that. Follow up with your actual question immediately so the recipient knows what you need and if it's urgent.

Shift+Enter or Ctrl+Enter (depending on the platform) will usually insert a line break. You can divide your greeting from the content of the message without actually sending two messages.

You can say it as a polite prelude...it just has to be an immediate part of the message. Not just "hi" then waiting for a response. The latter pisses everyone off.

Apparently.

I don't know, can you?

You get one a day, try again tomorrow

...new server, who dis??

If anyone says hi to me I literally just ignore them until they say something actionable.

It's great because if they ever complain about it I can just say, oh I was busy so didn't immediately follow up and they never ever specified what they wanted.

I've thankfully never experienced that last one, but that is heinous. I would actually engage to tell them not to do that.

I was 100% WFH, for a company in California, long before Covid.

We rented an oceanfront condo for a week from a friend, it was a good deal (they were unbooked so they figured a discount for a known user is better the no booking)

I went down there and worked from the condo from 8-6. Solid internet, attended all meetings. My boss got a case of the ass that I was "taking a vacation" and started trying to hop into support calls before I could so he could write me up for taking a vacation without requesting it.

I literally hit every support message within 30 seconds, he spent his whole day trying to do my job for me. By the end of the day, he had the gall to say I wasn't answering messages quickly enough. I demanded he show me what message he was talking about. Over a whole day of work, there was one message that went unanswered for 45 seconds because I was already working with two separate people. I sent him my chat logs of me working with the other people, and he bitched that I didn't tell them to wait for 45 seconds.

When I quit, he said, "I have to say I didn't see it coming, you were always so dedicated, I'm really sorry to see you go, no chance that I could change your mind? Is it salary?" "nope, I was summoned from some people I used to work for, and they're ready for me"

I hate how dysfunctional so many people are on communication and remote work.

The unnaounced call has been verboten in business since instant messaging became standard at work - about 2006.

The only exceptions are when someone doesn't have good connectivity or you're already workingon something together and you both know these calls may happen because of circumstance.

One look at anyone's calendar and you'll know you're going to voicemail.

Even better is when they just put something in my calendar with a brief description of what it's about

“hi, can I ask an urgent question?” followed by… no question.

"Hi, can you commit an unspecified amount of time to a problem that I'm not prepared to outline in case you don't think it's as urgent as I do? Please agree in advance to drop everything for it before knowing what it is."

No. Absolutely not. Bye bye unopened notification.

They ded

Ok, my intern dosen't use the "urgent" part, but he always do that. I try to explain to him that there's an automatic yes to that question so he can skip it, but he continues with it. It's make me crazy

If I was trying to use ChatGPT I would say "hi" before explaining my whole deal for five minutes because I don't want to hear "API Limit Exceeded, Buy More ChatGPT".

Of course, I would never.

This is set as a permanent status message on my Teams at work

What if I want them to take a moment to mentally prepare for the bullshit I'm about to drop on their lap?

Chaotic good

https://www.nohello.com/?m=0

Alternatively

https://nohello.net/en/

That's why my voicemail is disabled.