Say if someone came up to you and asked "If you were a boy/girl what would your name be?" could you answer them without needing think or is that not something most people give a thought to?

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[–] 23 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I knew the name I would have gotten if had been born a girl for multiple years before I came out as trans and now that is my real name.

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  • [–] 43 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    Hi. Trans person here.

    This is how The Big Questions start. Good luck.

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  • [–] 14 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    If you're thinking about what your life would be as the opposite gender, then you're already thought about gender more than most. Doesn't necessarily mean you're any flavor of trans, but generally this isn't something cis folk think about.

    No one can tell you who you are, especially an internet stranger. But if OP or anyone else has an answer to what name you would've had as the other sex, than this link is massively helpful in sorting through these thoughts.

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  • [–] 11 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    Yeah my name is Clement, so Clementine, like the Walking Dead character. Actually kids in school called me that thinking it was mean... I actually didn't mind.

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  • [+] 11 points 10 months ago (4 children)
  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    Same, but I was thinking that no way I'd go back to the old one. But my current name doesn't have an obvious gender flip, so I'd have to come up with an entirely new name again.

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  • [+] 2 points 10 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

    Can you expand on that? Not asking for more personal Info than you want to share but how do people weaponize that? How shitty our our fellow human beings?

    I feel a bit out of the loop standing here on my white CIS (is that even the right term?) privilege thinking people are getting better over time because I wouldn’t experience or even notice such things

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  • [+] 2 points 10 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Ok thanks. I think I mainly misunderstood the premise

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  • [–] 7 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    I'm a woman, my parents already gave me a male name. I never really thought about it until my brother had a son and named him after me.

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  • [–] 5 points 10 months ago

    If you asked me to pick a different name remaining a guy I don't think I could without a lot of thought.

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  • [–] 8 points 10 months ago

    Good luck with your transition!!!

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  • [–] 4 points 10 months ago
    [–] 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

    Can't say I've ever thought about it as a cis male. It's pretty easy to come up with the best sounding derivative though. If you feel that this may be an important choice for you it may benefit you to explore further and perhaps talk to a therapist who has helped others with dysphoria.

    It may also help to add that I've gone through phases of not liking my name. It's not a "normal" name and people very often mishear it as something else. Through this I've only ever considered other cis male centric names, also derivatives of my actual name.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago

    I'd have no idea. Yeah, there's a feminine name I could extract from my current name, but my first impression is that I wouldn't want that. I have no idea.

    Good luck with your journey!

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  • [–] 4 points 10 months ago

    I could come up with something contextual on the fly, but it is not a thing I think about. I do not feel a need to navigate or explore my sexual dogma, not that there is anything wrong with doing so. I guess I am lucky to have grown up with experiences that helped me learn what I do and do not find arousing. I think I am open to new experiences, but I generally follow my curiosity wherever it leads and do not care how anyone else feels about that. I'm fiercely loyal, so not in that way.

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  • [–] 4 points 10 months ago

    Not really. Probably just the female version of my name

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  • [–] 4 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    I have an agendered one but I'm also legit considering changing it.

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  • [–] 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

    I have given more thought to what I would change my name to if I was trying to hide as a criminal than I have for if I switched genders.

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  • [–] 6 points 10 months ago

    Nope, I don't have one.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago

    My name is not gendered, so I’m good to go.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    I have a gender-neutral name, so I'd probably stick with the same one.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    My mum said if I were a boy, my name would've been Daniel

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago

    My name has an obvious feminine version, and I like it enough too.

    I've personally known only very few women with that name, (it's not uncommon) but the ones I did were gorgeous, so I'd happily put myself in that club if I woke up different tomorrow.

    My middle name is already unisex too, so my initials wouldn't even change lol.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (4 children)

    Can I think about it, or am I at gunpoint?

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  • [–] 4 points 10 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 5 points 10 months ago* (2 children)

    Aisha (after the Fennec fox that I couldn't pet at a contact zoo when I was 10 because it was still too young)

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago

    Huh, Aisha being too young isn't a problem for some people.

    (In Islam, the prophet Mohammed married his wife Aisha when she was 6 and he was 50, but waited until she was 9 to consumate the marriage)

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    My name works equally well for either gender, so yes.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago

    Actually, I have one at the ready, mostly because my dad used to call my brother and I by our feminine equivalent names to bug us as children (different time, young army guy).

    Have not given thought to preferred choices, though, just that one.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago

    I'm gonna go with no.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago*

    I was named after my dad while my first sister born after me was named after my mom. (My parents would not have won any points for originality.)

    If I'd been assigned female at birth I would probably have been named after my mom instead, and given the name my sister ended up with rather than just the feminine version of my present name.

    As it stands I'm a cis man, but if I suddenly needed to change to a woman's name for some reason my name has a common feminine variant I'd use.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

    I don't even like my own name for various reasons but I couldn't make a different choice for my own gender even if I wanted to.

    I would end up depressively renaming myself something like Rat Bastard McFuckwit

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago

    I know what my parents wanted to call me if I was a girl. It's a horrible tacky name so I'm glad I turned out a boy!

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    I think the female versions of my name sound terrible, so, no on that front.

    In general not a thought I've had aside from that. I've always felt comfortable with my gender/sexual orientation.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago (2 children)

    I don't know a lot of trans people.

    Do they usually pick the opposite-gender-version of their birth name? Seems like many do not.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    Are they just being creative though, or are they purposefully making it very different?

    Do they think just a slight name change will be seen as a joke or temporary?

    I've never had to think about the mental process of choosing my own name, but I like the feminine version enough for now.

    But if it was a really important thing for me to distinguish my identity separate from my birth name, that might change my decision.

    But I've only considered it on the surface, like "what if I woke up at a Halloween party wearing a dress", or doing a dare/forfeit kind of thing.

    I'm thinking that a huge portion of the trans community came out of circumstances where they're shamed for it, and might choose to distance themselves from that whole part of their life.

    So I totally get it, but from a surface-level consideration, I wouldn't mind the femme version of my name.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago

    if i was a guy, i most likely would've just keep the name they gave me as a baby. personally, i gave a fair bit of thought to choosing my name, there wasn't some natural, percect choice that just fell into my brain out of the aether, but ymmv

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago

    My name can be used for both. Lucky me!

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago

    I'm not really sure how that works as a trans person lol

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    I'd have to stop and think because I've used two variations of a feminine version of my name in previous circumstances where this has come up and I don't know which i prefer.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    I'm presuming that this is me choosing a name for myself, not what would my name be if I was born a girl.

    My name does have a feminine version (Joseph => Josephine), but I'm not really a fan of gender swap versions of names, so it wouldn't be that. I'd probably go for something biblical like Deborah or Esther.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    No, I've never thought about this in any meaningful way and I couldn't answer without significant consideration.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    Probably Rachel

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    My name is already androgenous.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago (1 child)

    You mean if I was assigned a different gender at birth or if I realized something about myself?

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    Amanda.

    But I did have to think for a bit.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    Since I was named after my dad I suppose I would've been named after my mom or another family member.

    And uh, I guess "Cally" is kind of gender neutral-ish but it is my main online username so it'd be weird to use it somewhere else. Also I'm unsure how to pronounce it in portuguese, which is my native language.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    Mr name is Scrofula, so I guess Scrofulina might work out ok?

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    As a cis female I never considered going for a traditionally male name. I do however have a gender neutral name I go by in certain circles. I also used to have a gender neutral account for online gaming.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    Emely, Liv, Lucy, Alina are names i really like and would pick from

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    Nope, but I go by my furry name most places and that's rather gender neutral.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    I'm not sure about everyone but I do know that I have thought about this before. While I have no plans on ever becoming trans, I have thought about using the name Vivian or just Vivi. It's not related to my real name but I for some reason just kind gravitated towards it.

    I think I remember first using it as my character's name in some scenarios in AI Dungeon, and I still use it when I need a name for a female character.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    I feel like "Kolanaki" works both ways. Which is great, because I also go both ways.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    My name doesn't have a female version, but I know the name picked for me if I was a girl.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    I do have a favorite for video game characters of the other gender. But I didn't pick it until quite late in life, and I'm not sure it's a good name for gender-bent me irl.

    Parents had a name for a AFAB child iirc; though I've forgotten it.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago
    [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    I mean I have indecisiveness issues.

    I was supposed to pick an English name so its easier to pronounce than my real name, but kinda procrastinated and didn't feel confortable actually using a "foreign" name when I didn't even speak the language at the time.

    So like... hypothetically, if I were trans, not only would I be so afraid of picking and using another name, I would probably just be too scared to actually transition and keep hiding it in my head forever, I never gave any thought to such hypotheical names.

    Although I wonder, if I was AFAB, what name would my parents give me? Kinda wanna ask them for fun.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago (3 children)

    Loaded question. Who are you asking?

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    I'm asking everyone.

    I've known the answer to this question since well from as early as I can remember. I was curious if this is something other people think about often/ever.

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  • [–] 0 points 10 months ago*

    Never crossed my mind. And now that I'm trying to think about it all the names i try out sound wrong because i so strongly associate myself with my given name. Even other names of my same gender don't feel like they're me.

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