I'd be a bit of a hypocrite if I had a problem with that

Yes. Because i find them attractive.

Having been in this position, sure, but I've also had to end relationships because the person transitioned in a direction I wasn't attracted to. Communicating honestly and openly is the key, as it is for pretty much everything about interpersonal relationships.

Side note: The atmosphere on Lemmy is very pro-queer. Mastodon seems to be pretty queer too, but the number of users is a lot bigger, so you might see more diversity in answers. If you asked the same question on Reddit or X, you would absolutely find lots of unsavory comments.

No, because I'm already happily married.

If I weren't, well, the "equipment" is part of what I'm attracted to. So whether I would want to continue something long term depends on what they're working with.

If I found someone attractive, yes of course. I don’t care if you’re straight, gay, bi, trans, whatever - I’m not attracted to sex or the bits between your legs, I’m attracted to person and personality. As long as you’re confident and comfortable being you, I’ll swing anyway you want.

But due to the world we live in, lot of the time the struggle of being them so very much in their identity that they can’t talk about much else and I don’t find that very attractive, in fact quite the opposite.

Being already married and stuff aside, as a straight cisgender male I would honestly have a hard time with it. Like, my parents' neighbor is a trans woman and I'd be lying if I denied noticing her (covered) boobs when she was hanging out in the back yard. But if I'm going to have a romantic relationship with someone, there are physical traits that attract me and others that don't... And I would need to be attracted to my partner, both with what's typically visible in public and what isn't.

It's nothing personal, and I truly hope their new body (whatever that may be) works for them and they find the love they want. It's just not what I'm after.

To use the cliche as a tl;dr, it's not you, it's me.

Personally yes. Because I can find attractive all types of primary and secondary sexual features. So there's no problem if there are some mixed features.

But I would understand if someone who doesn't find penises/vaginas attractive wouldn't want to date other someone who has a penis/vagina.

I somehow added an i there and was a little too excited to comment 'Yes, who doesn't love trains!?!?'

No, because I'm taken but it wouldn't change the fact that I find them attractive. I'd date someone no matter their gender or genitals though, if thats what your asking

The only issue I might have is that some of the bigotry might start coming after me for associating. I’d like to think I’m the sort of person that would stand strong against that shit but I recognize that’s easier said than done from a position as relatively comfortable as the one I’m in.

Who am I kidding, though? I’d never think through the question as long as I did being asked it as a hypothetical. I’d date her and then maybe regret it later for the tangential reason.

I would say I am hetero.
If they reflect the sex they are claiming to be? Sure. I am not planning on making kids. So no way of getting pregnant either.
Rather would adopt anyway.

Edit: This assumes I like their personality in the first place.
And it would maybe only in tge first couple weeks be novel and unusual/weird to me. Then it's just business as usual.

I would not. I'm all for treating people as they want to be treated, but as far as my own attraction goes, I don't think I'd be able to completely think of them as being of the opposite sex.

I've never been in that situation but I wouldn't rule it out on principle.

Trans women are women, and women are gorgeous. So heck yes for transfemmes.

Cute enbies are cute enbies, you can bet I'm down <3

If a person I was dating transitioned to being a man, I would probably have to end it unless they were a femboy? (Currently seeing a transmasc femboy - he's cute as hell <3)

Reason? I'm not attracted to a person's genitals or the gender they were assigned at birth, I'm attracted to the person! If they have a penis/neopenis or vagina/neovagina or both or neither - who gives a damn. If a doctor declared they were "male" 20 years ago who gives the slightest fuck.

If I were single and they* were secure, then sure. I really feel for a lot of trans people because I know the transition can cause a lot of insecurity. And that's absolutely valid and I don't want to be unfeeling about it, but at the same time I know myself and I don't want a partner who is insecure and potentially overly emotionally needy, because I'm not good at providing that kind of support. So I'd be fine dating a trans person who is confident and secure, no matter where in the transition the person is.

* I say 'they' because I'm fine dating either men or women, not because I want to invalidate anyone's gender :)

Personally yes, absolutely. I guess benefits of being Bi/Pan?

But I can see how some wouldn't. Preference and compatibility matters in a relationship.

If I was to go on a date and found them attractive, I would not disqualify them for being trans.

Im a 50 year old wht sis male (I hope that's right). Tbh, not sure that this would have been my answer 25 years ago.

People are misinterpreting what straight means in this thread. You can date a trans person and be straight. Have a genital preference is different than your sexual orientation. It's perfectly fine if you wouldn't date a trans person because they don't match your genital preference, sex related things can be a deal breaker. But you're not gay for dating a trans person of the opposite sex.

If there's an expectation of sex we'd have to figure out if we're compatible that way.

Probably not, because ultimately, I want to play with genitals that are different from mine.

I don't expect everyone to agree, and it's perfectly okay for someone to have an alternative preference, and they are welcome to indulge it, but that's just mine.

If I wasn't already in a committed relationship, yes. I'm pan.

Yes. Penis or vagina matters little to me.

No because I'm married and my wife wouldn't like that.

More seriously, It's not a hard no, but I lean towards probably not, it would probably depend the specifics of their identity and the state of any medical transition.

In general, I'd tend to call myself a straight cis man. If I think long and hard about it, I could make an argument that I'm perhaps something along the lines of a non-binary person with a penis, who just happens to present in a traditionally "masculine" fashion in basically every way, and who is attracted to people with vaginas who present in at least a somewhat feminine way.

That's a fucking mouthful though, and I'm just not gonna get into the weeds about that in casual conversation.

The fact that I'm a man isn't really something that's particularly important to me, I just kind of think of myself as a person. If somehow someone misgendered me it wouldn't bother me in the slightest (though it may get a chuckle because I'm a bald, hairy dude with a big busty beard and fairly deep voice, not exactly the picture of femininity)

And while I quite enjoy having a penis, I don't feel as though I'd be particularly bothered by having a vagina instead (although you can miss me with that period nonsense, but I think most vagina-havers would agree on that point) and I'd otherwise live my life the same way.

And how "feminine" a theoretical partner would need to be actually gets a lot of leeway. I can find people pretty far into the tomboy/androgynous/butch/etc end of the spectrum attractive, maybe even preferably to the extreme "girly" end of the spectrum. There's a line there where they'd be too "masculine" for my tastes, but it's a fuzzy one.

And for me, a certain amount of physical attraction in a partner is important. It's a pretty wide spectrum that I'm able to find attractive, but there are limits, and I have preferences and dislikes to varying degrees.

And one of those strongest preferences is that my partner have a vagina. I am just not attracted to people with a penis.

If we want to count it under the trans umbrella, I don't think that me dating a non-binary person with a vagina would be out of the question.

Maybe even a FTM femboy type who hasn't had or want bottom surgery.

MTF, which I think is more in the spirit of this question, is a bit murkier though. If they don't intend to get bottom surgery I think that's a pretty hard no. And even if they have or intend to I can't say that I've ever seen, let alone touched, a surgically-created vagina, so I don't know if they'd do it for me the same way as a natural one.

The best comparison I do have is that I generally consider myself to be a boob-guy, and while it's not an outright disqualifier, fake boobs don't usually do it for me in quite the same way as real ones, but some are better than others, and while I tend to like big boobs, I have nothing against small ones, and a mastectomy isn't a deal-breaker for me either.

So I suspect that with bottom surgery, it's a firm "maybe"

As for a trans partner who has not yet but intends to get that surgery, I guess it kind of depends on the timeline. I don't really want to have sex with someone with a penis and a sexless relationship for me would have a limited lifespan.

All of that said, regardless of whether I'd date them or not doesn't change how I'd view their identity. There's plenty of women out there I wouldn't date for any number of reasons, but that doesn't mean I see them as any less of a woman.

Me finding them attractive is already a good indication they're trans, so...

well, i'm trans, and my partner's trans, and so are the majority of my exes, so, i'm gonna go with yes.

If I found out someone was cis whom I'd otherwise consider dating, it would probably be difficult to maintain interest.

Yeah. Half the people I’ve dated are trans.

Sure.

I find like 99% of people unattractive, though, cis and trans alike.

Likely not. I'm a cis straight man who tends to be into women who aren't into men, so while particularly feminine women aren’t my thing, the parts matter to me in terms of dating/having sex. Fully post-op and passing would certainly consider, but I know that's not always the goal for trans folks.

Been there, done that. It was great, but didn't last for other reasons. I'm now cis married with kids and don't regret a thing.

That's such a weird order of operations. Like, your medical conditions are simultaneously such a big part of your life, and yet also so deeply personal that it feels like they should not be part of the initial conversation, which is supposed to be shallow and light, not immediately heavy duty.

I think perhaps there are other more important considerations than mere trans-ness, like "do they have the same overall life goals that I have" and "are they taking care of their mind and body and fitness". But transness may inform those aspects. If a significant focus of their life is on their own gender, I might struggle with that. If they're already at a point where they have dealt with it and moved on to other things, then it might work. If they have comorbid issues beyond transness, like depression and anxiety, that can be a deal breaker unless they are managing themselves and putting in the work.

Yes and why not?

Can we just not do threads like this? It literally just a thread for cis people to confidently declare how much they find trans people yucky and how they are completely justified in finding us repulsive. Nothing good comes from these discussions.

People say they have a genital preference, yet trans people have a range of different genitalia, pre-op, intersex, or post operative. People say they want kids, yet some trans people can still have kids pregnancy, banked eggs or sperm, adoption, surrogacy, etc.

For every "requirement" cis people have for trans people there is a trans person that exists that meets those requirements and then cis people move the goalposts to justify their bigotry.

Cis people don't respond.