What about similar oddities in English?
(This question is inspired by this comic by https://www.exocomics.com/193/ (link found by BunScientist@lemmy.zip)) Edit: it's to its in the title. Damn autocorrect.

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[–] 70 points 1 year ago* (6 children)

My wife and I had a good snicker one time when I brought home edamame peas in the shell.

They were shelled, but she wanted them shelled.

Flammable/imflammable is another one that comes to mind.

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  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago

    English has many contronyms.

    • Clip: to attach (clip X to Y) or detach (clip coupons)
    • Dust: to remove dust or to add it (dust the cake with icing sugar)
    • Fine: excellent (fine wine) or not great but decent (it's fine)
    • Left: remaining (I have 5 left) or gone (I had some but they left)
    • Oversight: supervision (he had oversight over the whole process) or lack of supervision (I forgot to do that, it was an oversight)
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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    And the alarm goes off means it actually starts ringing. Weird language indeed!

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    And this might just be a UK thing but if a person goes off it means they get really angry. And it can mean to leave for somewhere.

    So a firework goes off which makes the fire alarm go off which makes the safety officer go off. Then he goes off to get a fireman. But he leaves the milk out, so it goes off.

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    [–] 42 points 1 year ago (7 children)
  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    This is the grammar thing I fuck up the most, and I don't call people on it because I'm pretty sure I don't know how it works. Autocorrect changes it & I just say "oh, whoops", and it still looks wrong...

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  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    it's means "it is". It is really not difficult, just pretend you are Data and swear off contractions.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

    Here's a shortcut: test if you could drop "his" into the same spot and have it make sense. (And of course you'd never write hi's or his's.) If "his" would work, "its" would work.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    My keyboard is very keen on completing "it's" regardless of context. I imagine this is the case for most people, since usually I see "it's" when "its" would be correct.

    I also think it's difficult to know that "it's" is wrong to use because it feels like it follows the common apostrophe for possession rule:
    "Australia's capital is Canberra" -> "Australia is the largest country in Oceania. It's capital is Canberra." (wrong, but intuitive)

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  • [–] 27 points 1 year ago (8 children)

    Bought, caught, taught, fought, thought, sought, and wrought are all past tense verbs and all rhyme. The present tense forms are buy, catch, teach, fight, think, seek, and work, none of which rhyme.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Spanish is awesome. All its verbs in their regular form do end in "-ar", "-er" and "-ir".

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    The conjugations can get as weird as English sometimes, though. Case in point: Ser.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago*

    "Me voy a ir yendo" can translate into "I'm leaving", but it is funny because you are using three times, in spanish, the same verb.

    Edit: I play with it and as a prank sometimes I translate it like if it were a chain of "going to". "I'm going to going to to"

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    And that's one of the sounds "ou" can make.

    • there's "ou" as in bought
    • there's "ou" as in house
    • there's "ou" as in touch
    • there's "ou" as in group
    • there's "ou" as in boulder
    • there's "ou" as in famous
    • there's "ou" as in tour

    Inglish speling iz stoopid.

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  • [–] 68 points 1 year ago (16 children)
  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago* (15 children)

    Pretty sure the past tense of "lead" is actually "led."

    Unless of course you're referring to the type of metal, lead, which I guess the meme isn't clear on.

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  • [–] 51 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    Pretty sure there’s a chemical element named “lead”

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    And German has a word for it: Blei

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Bly in Swedish. But we add some weirdness to the Bly part so a "lead pencil" is blyertspenna ("penna" meaning pencil). I can't think of another word where that specific addiction is used, and I have no idea what it means.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (3 children)

    I had to look this up.

    And today I learned ALL my brit friends are spelling it wrong. That's more than two!

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Brits aren't "spelling it wrong" any more than those in the US are. It's just cultural differences. Do you also claim Germans spell things wrong? Or the Chinese?

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  • [–] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Fast can mean moving with great speed or fixed securely in place (among other things).

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  • [–] 19 points 1 year ago

    The Chaos by Gerard Nolst Trenité (1922)

    https://ncf.idallen.com/english.html

    Dearest creature in creation
    Studying English pronunciation,
    I will teach you in my verse
    Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

    I will keep you, Susy, busy,
    Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
    Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;
    Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

    Pray, console your loving poet,
    Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
    Just compare heart, hear and heard,
    Dies and diet, lord and word.
    ...

    Very long. Highly recommended

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  • [–] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

    One of my favourites is the word jam, which can mean:

    • A fruit preserve
    • Traffic that's stopped
    • To play music
    • A door that won't open
    • A difficult situation
    • To force something in somewhere it's not supposed to be
    • To interrupt a signal
    • Something you don't like or can't do ("that's not my jam")

    And probably others, all spelled and pronounced the same way but with wildly different meanings depending on the context.

    The other English thing I find super interesting is how there's a sort of unspoken but very clearly understood order to adjectives. So for example, if I say "The big old red wooden door" it works as a description, but if I say "The wooden old red big door" it sounds weird even though it's the same information. People aren't usually formally taught the order (as far as I know), but everyone seems to understand it.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Would be interested in more about the order - wondering if there is a name for that? I have been called out by teachers and friends and colleagues about strange sentences and it was often because I wouldn't write the 'normal' way. I've learned the conventions over the years and often find myself making edits to swap words and phrases around to meet expectations.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago*

    Apparently it's called the Royal Order of Adjectives, and it's essentially: determiner, opinion, size, shape, age, colour, origin, material, qualifier.

    You don't have to use all of those in the description, but that's broadly the order to use them in to make it sound 'right'. So for example in the comment I made above, it fits because I used:

    • determiner (The)
    • size (big)
    • age (old)
    • colour (red)
    • material (wooden)

    in that order. I'm sure I was never taught that in any organized way (I just had to look up what it was called lol) but I still got it in the right order anyway just by typing it out in the way that felt right, which I think is interesting.

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  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Welcome to english, where rules are actually the exceptions

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago (10 children)

    Where, were, we're. Even native speakers have problems with this. I don't know how many times I had to correct such cases, especially with American authors.

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  • [–] 15 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Pretty much only native speakers have problems with this, I see this type of mistake far less frequently with those who learned English as an additional language.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    Where, were, we’re.

    I never had a problem with those, until I started with stuff like Reddit.

    Now, I find myself making the mistake and catching it in proofreading.
    Guess my brain is starting to age too.

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  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago (17 children)

    It's because the people who set the rules for the English language, could barely speak it.

    The first guy to popularize the printing press was Dutch, so the guy who bought England's first one didn't know how it worked and neither did any English speaker

    So he hired a bunch of Dutch who knew how to operate it.

    And they got a bunch of handwritten books and were told to mass reproduce them.

    Sometimes it was a mistake in the original, sometimes the typesetter made a mistake. Sometimes the writer just disagreed with how it should be written, and sometimes even the typesetters who couldn't speak English made choices to change it

    No one gave a fuck about accuracy, it was about pumping out as many books as possible. Because just owning a book was a huge status symbol still from when they were handwritten and crazy expensive.

    But all those books eventually got read, and the people who learned to read them were very proud that they could read. So they insisted that all the random bullshit was intentional and had to be followed to a T by everyone forever.

    Most other languages had a noble class who kept it sensical, but for a long ass time only peasants spoke English, the wealthy in England all spoke French, cuz they were French.

    Anyways, that's why English doesn't make any sense. There was also a natural thing happening where vowel pronunciation was changing. So when the typecasters solidified everything, it was already in a state of flux. That's why pronunciation doesn't line up with spelling.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    This also occurred in the middle of the Great Vowel Shift, a period when spoken English pronunciation was changing significantly.

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  • It certainly doesn't help that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    A French. The language where you have 5 wovels, use 3 for the word goose and the other 2 to pronounce it.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (4 children)
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago* (3 children)

    The French word for goose is Oie, pronounced "ua"

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    If you look at an IPA chart, you can see how going from /i/ to /e/ to /a/ is a process of the vowel becoming more and more "open" over time (said with the mouth wider and wider).

    In Quebec, the vowel shift that caused "oi" to have a /wa/ sound didn't fully happen. So, the word "moi" is often pronounced more like /mwe/ or /mwɛ/. But "oiseau" (bird) is still pronounced with a /wa/.

    The modern French pronunciation of the Loire river /lwaʁ/ influences the English pronunciation /lwɑːr/. But, other languages use a spelling that matches the French but have a different pronunciation. In Italian and Spanish it's Loira. The Latin name was Liger. So, it used to have a /i/ pronunciation before the vowel shift.

    tl;dr: modern French pronunciation vs spelling is just about as bad as English.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    What I get from this is that if those English idiots had stuck to French, we wouldn't have this mess.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    More like if the French royalty hadn't conquered England....

    England hasn't been ruled by the English for centuries bro

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (1 child)
  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago*

    When people shit on the English, it's usually for stuff a small group of French royalty/oligarchs were doing. And they were doing bad shit to the actual English too.

    Like the joke about "robbed the world for spices, used zero".

    The royalty 100% used all the fancy spices and sold them to their cousins in mainland Europe. But the common Englishman sure as fuck couldn't afford them.

    The most shit we should be giving the common English, is for not following the common French's example

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago

    "Read" and "readed."

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago* (3 children)

    Lead and lead as well. I got a lead on those lead undergarments you wanted. I'll lead you there later.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago* (1 child)

    How did I get to the lead merchant? I was led here. But in the price negotiation, I took the lead.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Present: read Past: red (in the fediverse), redd (on the old site)

    Obvious.

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    “It has been red”.

    So was the text red or has the text been read?

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    On a different note there is Reading, a football club in UK, which is pronounced "Redding". This pronunciation is akin to the Reading Railroad from Monopoly (which I mispronounced all my life until today).

    Little details, picked up along the way.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Reading is a place itself, the football club is the club for that place

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (1 child)
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