The report also seems not to realize that it is being written by the Trump administration.

There are a few delightful digs like this in this article.

The only thing that's golden is the tacky veneer on the White House walls in the picture.

What? By dying?

Trump's understanding of science is on a par with that of Flat Earth and Hollow Earth believers. It's hard to foster what you don't understand.

The Golden Age will begin once the Orange Era concludes.

Do they even know how science works?

Soooo, he's going to use tax payer dollars to fund Christian science reading rooms across the nation?

In China?

...by leaving office

This coming from the same guy who was confused about what happens with magnets just a few months ago and now he tells people in order to make money you "do magnets".

A real golden shower of wisdom from that bag.

This is just a euphemism for alchemy isn't it. He's going to dump billions of taxpayer dollars into a quest to turn lead into gold.

That Orange Pedo love’s ignorance not science.

Only if the word is redefined to mean "shitting your diaper and lying about it".

...by axing or redirecting (read: embezzling) funds once spent on actual science?

By driving science away to places it can thrive

This reads like a North Korean headline

Ha, ha, ha

What, they're seriously believing Trump and "science" belong on the same page together?!?

Miserable fucking sycophants. He's actually ushering in a dark age worse than the one that followed the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Yeah bleach injections for covid you don't want these leaded gasoline enthusiasts around any scale.

They don't mean "Golden age of science" as a time when lots of awesome and important science gets done. He fired all the scientists. But he IS having the plain black ink in science printers replaced with a sparkly gold ink, so all of the bad science will look way more shiny and golden.

Uh-huh

Can, but won't.

Donald Trump says Donald Trump is a pretty cool guy

We'll reach new heights in astrology and horoscopes. Tea leaves will hold no more secrets and we'll become a major exporter in rabbit feet! /s

Trump: A golden science of deals. Lesson 1. You pay me and I won't hurt you much...

All I know about magnets is this, give me a glass of water, let me drop it on the magnets, that’s the end of the magnets

- Golden Scientist Trump

“Can”, not “will”. A subtle but important distinction.

Golden age of ignorant people.

By dying maybe

In other old news: the sugar industry says "sugar isnt dangerouse and too much sugar doesnt exist" (yes this is actually a statement of the sugar industry)

so back to drowning women in rivers because they float like a duck?

he would likely die bathing in water filled with gold particles.

Defunding is not how, but he is the stupidest person to ever hold the office, so expecting him to know better is a recipe for disappointment.

I'm sure he could, but it would be in Europe away from him and his science denying flat earth believing pals.

You mean the Trump that's responsible for the brain drain in the US because he declared war on science and scientists? The guy that hired conspiracy theorists and fox News anchors for high regime positions and a health minister who's into roadkill penisses, brain worms and swimming in feces while claiming paracetamol causes autism and vaccinations are bad?

Yeah, I bet he'll be the inventor of the Idiocracy time machine. Unless that ride requires magnets.

Wait, this isn't the Onion?

Golden like piss

can usher in new gold in age of science?

i think they've been doing that already. and lining their pockets with it.

He could by getting all conservatives out of policy making positions, but he is too much of a bitch to do it.

He won't. But he totally can

New golden shower*

By golden age they mean something cheap with gold spray paint.

I guess pseudoscience is a kind of a science

The golden age of "who knows what's happening"

the article seems pretty partisan and populist. selectively chooses facts for discredit while omitting any admission of credibility. does not address the problems or issues with a proposed solution. lots of suspicion, unfair assumptions about motives, and irrelevantly keeps tieing back to the trump administration. the highly partisan angle seems to discredit arstechnica as an intelligent unpreferential information source for productive discussion.

Are we expected to simply forget that he was in charge during the COVID-19 outbreak and seized medical equipment / PPE for resale, told people to inject bleach and take random drugs, and deliberately allowed the disease to spread in areas that vote blue?

Trump respects science as much as I respect him.

With exciting new fields like phrenology and race science!

/s

Eat gravel and die you confused old shit

Trump can't usher in shit. Dude started a war with Iran and gas costs $4 a gallon. He's a complete failure, a pedophile, and a con. He won't usher in shit except a forever war and maybe the next great depression.

When the regime falls, an embarrassingly significant amount of funds will be needed to pull all that tacky gold crap off the walls.

And fix the reflecting pool.

And restore the east wing.

And fix the reflecting pool.

And thats just some of the physical things that Trump vandalized.

What science? Climate change denial? Anti-vaxxing? Grift optimisation? How to evade the law by being rich? Tax evasion studies? How not to pay your contractors? Studies on adolescent sexuallity?

They mean "golden age" in the piss on it sense.

Maybe this is meant to be taken a lot more literally and Trump is just going to force all science to be alchemy now? Because it’s definitely not going to be the common meaning of a “golden age” based on everything he’s been doing.

How many of those problems and grievances were caused by him?

...by leaving office

Can't wait for the United States of America to become the world leader in ivermectin research.

Uh huh. Clorox cure for deadly disease. Vacuuming forests to prevent wildfires. Climate change is "a hoax". Just redefining what science is supposed to mean.

as in he's gonna piss all over everything?

He drove all the good scientists away

Well, i mean yeah. China is taking the lead on several fronts these days.

The "let's nuke a hurricane" guy thinks he knows science? Hilarious.

Trump's relationship to Science is that akin to a Flat Earther: "If it confirms what I believe, it's true, otherwise, it's not."

Bring back trepanning

Cuts all funding for science without any oversight, then claims that we will have a Golden Age.

Can, but absolutely won't

The “stable genius” brigade

Just need the dark ages to really set in, then it's easy to usher in a golden age.

-spittake-

-wipes coffee off monitor-