Oh I hate this. They tell me something interesting, I ask questions because I'm genuinely curious. And now they're offended because they think I'm questioning what they just said.

I learned while gardening that when you lay manure to fertilise, the direction of the wind will determine the neighbors you upset. Just being yourself is going to upset someone at some point and it's entirely out of our control.

Nobody seems to understand that I'm just genuinely curious about things. I have no other reason for asking. Nothing wrong, nothing to make fun of you for, and nothing to try and make things worse. Don't ask me why I asked.

It just happens.

Why?

(This is a joke about asking people why to they suddenly have to do some critical thinking)

Mine is more like I’m pretty comfortable with myself and being vulnerable and it makes other people super uncomfortable instead of triggered.

Yep absolutely. Especially with these communication challenges NT <-> ND and trying best to understand. Suddenly bam! aggro mode.

I was just trying to understand, genuinely. No, you went too far!

My neighbor across the street has solar panels. I chatted with him once, and he brought them up. I asked if he got the battery wall too, and he said no, but seemed slightly miffed. Then, he said his electric bill was $60/mo. I probably didn't seem suitably impressed, I didn't tell him mine is $50/mo. and I don't have solar panels, I just don't use much electricity. I wanted to ask whether he was leasing them, or took out a loan for them, but didn't.

I think the only way residential solar panels make sense is to have a battery, especially in the winter when we get a lot less sun, and most people are at work during the day, so a lot of residential electrical use is after sunset. That's why I asked, but I didn't say any of that to him.

StOp InTeRroGaTiNg Me!

I love it, exactly because it triggers introspection. Even if I can't change anything, at least I'm aware of any shortcomings and might be able to compensate if necessary.

I'm both those people

I guess maybe, in the hope that some day, someone might actually be curious about me

You stop wanting to participate in society the moment you realize most 'normal' people just say random words and avoid thinking about any of them like the plague.

Me, an aspie: Why is rule A in place? Why can't we do X instead of Y, X seems more efficient and would save time.

Them, A Normie: That's just the way it is, conform.

You know there was a song written to refute that mind set?

Probably the lion's share of friction right there, exposing insecurities.

OMG is that what we're doing!?

I had a "friend" that was like this but this was only because she lied to everyone about just about everything and it was at a point where she struggled to keep up with the lies.

Half the time it was pointless nonsense. The other half it meant she was probably cheating or attempting to cheat with someone in the group's partner.

You shouldn't be getting upset because your friends remember what you said the last time you hung out. That's just weird.

Curiosity can be rude

Am I autistic? I have definitely done this by accident.

>9000

This post is a perfect example of everything is neurodivergent now.

The people they're triggering must be autistic themselves....

Apparently I did it recently... here in autism@lemmy.world..

"People that avoid self-reflection". So much a main trait of narcissism, it could almost be synonymous. [It's a] Pity [that] narcissism and autism are not mutually exclusive, otherwise things could likely be a lot more pleasant around here, with greater overlap of amicability in communication styles among us autistics.

It's a joy when it just flows, and the ideas are explored, and words mean what they mean. No presumption of hostile subtexts when simple questions are asked, no histrionics and combative accountability evasiveness in response to curiosity.

The [extra] irony of that example I linked... They'd just stated they were hoping someone might actually be curious about them. And they still got triggered! [Even though the curiosity question about them, was also obviously whimsical humour... [... unless of course it struck a nerve, too close to some truth they're desperate to not even consider, despite obviously knowing it on some level, or there'd not be the getting triggered.]]

Though in this instance, I think that was likely their intent... just trolling for attention, for a loosh lunch. Gets me wondering how higher a population % here are "truth tellers" (in the archetypes paradigm of narcissism), and "third phase empaths", and other types that are more prone to exposing narcissists, above the increased susceptibility autistic people have for narcissistic abuse. ... Almost seems like it's a trap. We as a community/demographic, appear vulnerable prey, but then there are those among us who've simply had a longer harder training in observantly persisting in the abuse... and so, we're better apt as those who can say to the dark tetrads and covert narcissists, "I see you.". ... And they don't like it. They'd rather we just see the image they've put so much effort their whole lives into optimally preening to manipulate people by. Exposure threatens the supply of the covert/vulnerable/community narcissist, more than the grandiose/malignant narcissist. And [a narrative of] being threatened just arms their poor-me drama all the more, to more effectively manipulate people's compassion by.

Non-narcissistic autistics don't tend have a socially manipulative bone in our body. [~ ... what a curious expression... you get the gist though, right?]

Despite the overlap of appearances, in many important ways, we're like opposites. We have the empathy, and the social ineptitude (by normative measure). They lack the empathy, and are all about the social manipulation.

Offer a question to us, and we're likely to take the question and explore it at face value, and go deeper from there. Offer a question to a narcissist, and the answer you get, will either be reactive of narcissistic injury, [and/]or strategically manipulative, to make sure they appear as grand as they envision themselves to be, because everybody else has to see them as great as they see themselves, or else! [<- for the more Yang type. Or to make sure they appear as vulnerable as possible, to elicit your compassion. ~ for the more Yin type.]

*sigh*. Narcissists are the worst.