Horror story (piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
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[–] 56 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I have two Outlooks and neither of them are working

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  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    One day kids won't understand the reference and will probably come up with stuff like "That's funny, didn't I donate my left testicle as required by Microsoft government for population maintenance purposes? Why are they asking me to donate my remaining testicle?

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  • [–] 40 points 4 months ago (11 children)

    I have to use Teams for work and it baffles me how unbelievably bad the interface is. Everything that should be easy and quick to do is made difficult and time consuming. Every time you try to do something simple you'd expect to be able to, it is blocked or limited in such a way that you can't do it and you have to find a workaround. It fights you in every way it can whenever you're trying to accomplish something. You also have to sign in with two factor authentication multiple times every day. I don't understand how this so-called "productivity" suite is even tolerated by private companies. It cripples productivity.

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  • [–] 17 points 4 months ago (10 children)

    While I agree the UI needs some work, getting prompted for MFA multiple times a day for just using Teams chat and meetings is not normal.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (6 children)

    It's not? Everyone at my company has the same experience.

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  • [–] 14 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Your IT has set up Conditional Access policies with a Sign-in Frequency set too low (it should really be labeled as a period, because it defines the time period that will occur before reauthentication is required). For regular users like all of you, forcing reauthentication that many times each day is excessive and just cruel on the users. They maybe thought it would make them super secure, but it only trains the users that MFA is an annoyance rather than an important security feature.

    It’s a setting that can easily be changed, so make some noise and see if you can get some feedback passed through your org structure to IT.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I don't think I've ever had to sign into Teams (PR Outlook, for that matter) in my desktop. Mobile, I have to after changing my password. I assumed all the MS apps signed me in with my domain login on my laptop. On weird issue I have is things like SharePoint and Dynamics 365 asking me to sign in again after its already brought up the site, and clicking the button to do it just brings a blank pop-up that immediately disappears and I'm logged "for real" I guess.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Yep. I sign in once when the app is opened (which happens automatically as I’m logged into the computer as my Entra ID) and then am never prompted again until I close and reopen Teams.

    Something is misconfigured in the environment, or there is a security policy that is set way too high, or one is scoped incorrectly. It is definitely not the normal or expected user experience.

    Teams has a lot of faults, but that one is on your org’s admins and security team. Hopefully for you it’s a mistake and not done intentionally.

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  • [–] 0 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    You can get multiple sign in requests if you change devices regularly. It's common to require authentication any time you change device

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    Not in my experience. I sign into lots of different systems every day and run Teams on all of them, and I never see any MFA prompts so long as I’m on a managed asset. Every system logs in to Teams automatically just by opening the Teams app.

    Now, if you’re talking about a pinned app or SharePoint link or something once you’re in the app, maybe. But default chat and meetings should be the same experience, in terms of authentication workflow for the user, as launching and using Outlook.

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  • [–] 27 points 4 months ago (5 children)

    Just started at a place that uses teams. The window always says I have two unread messages. I don't.

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  • [–] 17 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    Probably missed calls. It'll keep showing a notification bubble in both activity and calls until you bother clicking the missed call as if that makes any difference or sense to anyone or anything but the notification counter.

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  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Or theyre reactions to a message

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  • [–] 10 points 4 months ago

    Yeah, those don't work well with Outlook. I get an e-mail from Microsoft telling me to login to the web version only to see that someone put a πŸ‘ on my e-mail. It completely defies the purpose.

    Microsoft really knows how to keep office workers occupied doing nothing at all.

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  • [–] 25 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Imagine finding a log with something like "we couldn't stop shareholders, our planet is doomed. We will start with a new colony on the planet closer to sun, perhaps this time we will not destroy our home"

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  • [–] 21 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Artemis II astronauts going around the Moon: "I have two Outlooks, neither of which works"

    Astronauts during the first Mars mission: "I previously had two Teams versions, neither of which worked, and now there's apparently a third one, and it doesn't work either"

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  • [–] 17 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    I can sometimes hear Teams notification sound from neighbour's apartment, triggers me to check my phone almost every time.

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  • [–] 13 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Elon Musks bones.

    No, wait, you said terrifying, not terrific. never mind.

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  • [–] 11 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    "No Trespassing" signs, written in Goa'uld.

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    [–] 10 points 4 months ago

    "Didn't you see my post in the channel?"

    "Sweety, I don't know wtf is going on in this cluster fuck. Be thankful I even replied"

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    That Tesla Melon Husk dumped in the space.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago
    [–] 5 points 4 months ago

    Static crackles in the astronaut’s helmet as he makes his way onto the red soil. A message pops up on his display. β€œHey, got a sec for a quick teams call?”

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  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago (8 children)

    Or maybe you believe in the Great Filter hypothesis, and signs of life discovered on Mars implies that this filter may be ahead of humanity rather than behind it

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago

    The most impactful moment of our history: explorers on Mars discovered the remains of an ancient spacefaring civilization. In the decades that followed, these mysterious artifacts revealed startling new technologies, enabling travel to the furthest stars. The basis for this incredible technology was a force that controlled the very fabric of space and time. They called it the greatest discovery in human history. The civilizations of the galaxy call it

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    If there was intelligent life on Mars in past there would presumably be lasting signs that we could discover.

    Who knows what signs we might find in ice cores from the Martian South Pole.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    Even if this were the case though, life on Mars (or anywhere outside of Earth) would be a really cool discovery!

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    I saw a conspiracy theory that said we used to live on Mars but we polluted it so much that, to survive, we had to send a rocket with two children to the next planet, called Earth. Then everyone died.

    The children's names were Adam and Eve.

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  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago (6 children)

    wtf even downvotes do you work in microsoft or what? or do we have "anything big tech is good" bots here

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  • [+] 4 points 4 months ago (4 children)
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    Exact replicas of everyone on Earth. But we all have something... off about us.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Mars is doing the me gusta meme face.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    Presumably it’s mostly topological horror.

    Getting trapped in caves, falling off cliffs, collapsing ground, tentacle pits

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago* (2 children)

    Bugs or organisme from earth.

    It would means we have already contaminate this environment and we won't be able to tell if any discovered life form came from mars or from contamination.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago
    [–] 1 point 4 months ago*
    [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    Legitimately inhaled through teeth.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    It turns out all the Rust is just dyno clippies that rusted out millions of years ago when the planet was populated by clipies.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (1 child)

    the mars movie tropes, always find some secret alien life or advanced structure on the planet.

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  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago

    Here's a fun one. We find an archive. Stored in a form durable enough to last eternity, we find a vault, the last remnant of some long-forgotten Martian civilization.

    They include the usual history, culture, historical artifacts, etc. But what shocks our explorers most of all? The biological archive. DNA sequences, freeze dried tissue samples, etc. Their language, once cracked, reveals the truth.

    This isn't just a library or archive to remember the Martians. They knew they were on a slowly dying world. They never got rocket technology, though they did master advanced biology before the end. So they included everything needed to revive them, to actually bring them back from the dead.

    Then we have to figure out what to do. This isn't the dodo bird or some other species we, humanity, are responsible for killing off. The Martians died of natural causes a billion years before our ancestors crawled out of the water. We have no ancestral moral debt to the Martians.

    Sure, we could bring them back. But think through the implications of that. Mars is their world, the very planet we were planning to colonize. Will they want it back, maybe ask to live on Earth in the millennia it takes to teraform it? And even then, we'll now have a literal alien civilian right on our doorstep. Do we really want to open that Pandora's Box?

    I was introduced to the concept of the moral dilemma of bringing back extinct aliens from Isaac Arthur, and it's a scenario I truly love.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago
    36 comments in c/programmer_humor@programming.dev view that post