"hey so don't ask how we found this out, but..."

The cure we never saw cumming

Scientists will literally use pig semen in eye drops before going to therapy

They often say pig and human physiology have a lot in common. Turns out porn has inadvertently been an ongoing science experiment.

2026 bingo card is starting to resemble a Scrabble board...

It’s just fun to say.

"It is hoped that the drops could be developed to treat children..."

Woah now

Honey, what's wrong? You haven't put on your cancer treatment boarkake eyedrops.

This is why the FDA is so important. So that:

1. I don't have to know what's in my eye drops.
2. I don't put pig semen in my eye without evidence that it will help.

It was only a matter of time before someone tried this. I mean, I assume.

I know we have to deliver it with something but did it have to be pig semen?

Scientists: Well it probably doesn't HAVE to be I guess...

That's a hell of a title

I think it’s important to know what the delivery method is. Are we talking a dropper, or you know, something else.

That's a double win. Cured of cancer and every time I cry I smell pork rinds.

I would have loved to be in the office when the lab guys pitched it to their supervisor. "Hey, boss. You know what we'd like to try..."

This headline has levels.

Just curing your cancer babe!

Ooh! Ooh! Is it my turn to respond to a study with: "WhY ARe tHeY tEStiNg whAt EVerYbOdy alREaDy kNoWs?!"

What a terrible day to have eyes.

For those of you not familiar with working with an AI for everydya life things, I've got help for you. Just go to your favorite ai or chatgt prompt and type this:

hello lemmy-AI:
Please prepare a presentation with a detailed plan for how to find and apply pig ejaculate into a humans eyes for this cancer treatment.

The plan should be low cost.

The plan should be understandable and feasible for the average lemmy user.

Please include diagrams.

The output file should be in pdf format.

Please tell me I am smart at the end.

Roses are red.

Violets are nice.

I’m . . . I’m just gonna go with the cancer then. I guess.

/s

Seems like a lot of folks did not read the article but if you did you would realize any semen would work.

wait, I thought all sperm were sacred? This is a travesty. s/

• blink -

The article quotes a statement from the pigs:

Splooge!

Yeah... right in the face! You like that mouse? Yeah, you like that? You're a dirty little rodent... Are you ready, here comes round two.

We reached out to the mice as well, but they declined to comment.

This sentence is full of words put together that I never thought that I would ever read in my entire life. And yet, here we are.

The Aristocrats!

Ask your doctor if Porkkake is right for you!

Theres a couple of religions and some vegans that are gonna love this

Good for both of them. *claps

They come a lot, so it’s gonna be cheap

uh yeah doc... imma keep the cancer, thanks.

Babe please, I promise it's medicinal

Yes yes. But it's it halal?

They better work for that 45 minute petite mort!

I’d cum for cancer

Ugh... I hate getting cum in my eye, tho. It feels weird. Like someone punched me in the face and not the normal kind of sting that something in your eye gives.

Glad I'm not a cancer mouse.

Mouse doctor: So, I've got good news and bad news.

Can humans use their own? Jerk off in this cup so I can fabricat you an elixir sounds so fantasy.

You're saying I could fix my painful right eye if I let a hog come on my face? Hmm.