What do you enjoy doing that’s not work and not “adulting”?

Find a hobby. Then find a group that shares that hobby. Clean up a park day, maybe.

Or find a charity or nonprofit that needs volunteers.

The local library probably has things going on, too.

Find a third space whether it’s the magic the gsthering shop and shop tournies or church or a knitting circle ran by the local yarn shop.

Work and shared hobbies. I recently went to buy some hardwood from a work colleague. We don’t even work the same shift but they’re fond of asking what I’m building or showing me what they’re building because who else are they going to talk to about their hobby (I imagine).

We’re not friends, but there’s this hobby. I get there and it’s not a mere business transaction nor do we talk work. It almost had a kid feel to it. Like when you crossed the hedge to the yard of the kid next door and he welcomes you because it’s more fun if you can show off and share your toys. Only as adults. Kudos on reclaiming a small piece of that.

Adulthood is such a roadblock sometimes.

Work and hobbies

I'm guessing you don't want to hear "the bar".

Hobby groups. For board games, hiking, sports, etc.

You already have a shared interest, makes things easier.

Coed recreational sports team. Lots of them are mostly social with a little bit of sports tossed in. And almost all of them are looking for more players.

Sell the car. Move into a tiny 3br apartment with roommates in a walkable city.

Date your roommate's friends. They'll date yours.

Change roommates occasionally.

Best answer I've ever had for this was 'find something to support.' It can be anything. Just find a space where you have people trying to do something for the benefit of others with some bare minimum cost of entry. The group coming from people trying to help others will bias it toward nicer people. The cost of entry, even something small like $5/mo or physically present volunteering, deters anonymous trolling.

The other good option is classes. Doing things to improve your skills in something is generally worthwhile anyway, but it also puts you in contact with other people who share an interest.

Volunteer. Audition for community theater. Get a job. Join a hiking group. Take an adult learning class. Download a dating app. Get yourself out there.

The house next door is empty and up for sale. I happened to see a real estate agent and a couple in the driveway, and she waved to me, in a sort of inviting way, so I went over and helped her pitch the house a little, telling them that the previous people were really great, kept up the house nice, did lots of upgrades, the street is really friendly and meets at the neighborhood pool every morning, etc.

The wife asked if there were any musicians, and I raised my hand. She asked what instrument, I said guitar, and she pointed to her husband, and said "So does he." I said " Please buy this house!"

Yesterday, I heard the house is in escrow, and we'll have new neighbors soon. I hope it's the guitarist, I would love a guitar buddy, I literally have NOBODY to play with.

Shared hobbies are your best bet. Either find a way to make your existing hobbies social, or get a new hobby you can do with people. 

You can also try events at your local bars or meeting people at work, but both of those have serious drawbacks. 

And if you are looking for people to date, the vast majority of options you have these days are online. You can try hooking up with strangers at a bar or meeting someone while engaging in a social activity, but statistically a tiny percentage of couple meet that way these days. 

Get a hobby, go to events, find social circles, and drink at the sort of bars you can chat with strangers at.

I met my wife at a dungeon, but I know that's not to most people's tastes.

For me, it was always through work. Meeting co-workers after work, and meeting other people that way.

You do need to make an effort, though, instead of excuses.

Always gonna plug disc sports when threads like this pop up. Ultimate Frisbee is fun and if you live in even a minor city there's usually a rec league to join. Has the best culture of any sport IMO, full of the chilliest most accepting people who are always looking for more people to join and with rec leagues people will sometimes go out to the bar after to hang out.

Disc golf is also great for meeting people if you're not as into cardio. Can join tournaments and they'll usually pair you up with people. Or just go solo to the course and occasionally someone else will offer to let you join their round or if you're waiting with another solo at a hole you can offer to let them join you.

Both are also very cheap activities, Frisbee you just need cleats and to pay ~$50 for a rec league season. Disc golf is basically free once you get discs.

Fuck if I know. I volunteer. I joined a community choir. I am mildly social at the coffee shop. There's a local bar/restaurant with picnic table seating and the culture is you can talk with anyone you are seated by as long as you're civil. People still go to churches. There's PTAs and stuff for your kids. Just a few ideas.

Imagine finding the perfect partner, getting married, moving in together etc.

Now that you're married and that's all settled, where do the two of you go for fun? Where do the two of you go to get out of the house?

Go there.

I’ve been wondering that too. There are always co-workers but none I really connect to. Lots of parents but now that kids are grown there’s nothing in common.

Now I’ve really gotten into cooking but my kids are in college and I have no one to cook for. I have a smoker that can ditn30+ pounds of meat or 6 racks of ribs. Who’s hungry?

meetups, conventions, conferences, concerts, bars, hobbies, etc. It might be easier for me because I live in a very populous region, but I’ve found it pretty easy to meet people. 90%+ of those people don’t end up becoming long term friends, but that’s just how it is.

Also, the easiest way to start a conversation is to ask a question. “Hey what’s that?” “What are you doing?” It takes time to get a good feel for whether or not someone is actually looking for a conversation based on their response, but it is a skill anyone can learn and there’s generally no harm in short chats with strangers in public spaces.