I'm pretending to not be at home.

Get in loser, I'm teaching you to selfhost

I have two gaming PCs, a Nintendo Switch, PS5, and a Steam Deck. If gaming is not your thing, I am a coffee snob, so I can entertain you with my coffee brewing gear or we can dial in different roasts together.

If even coffee is not your thing, I am also a hobbyist woodworker, so maybe we can build something together.

If all else fails, you can play with my dog, relax in one of my 3 hammocks, mess with my cats, we can go ultralight backpacking, you can play the piano, we can make scented candles or soaps, or I can teach you programming. I also have lots of books!

Welcome to my ADHD life!

I'm home now, but if someone is going to give me a 10 minute warning, I won't be when they get here.

I'll show you how to install Archlinux

You can hang out in the back yard and hand-feed our 100+ pound giant sulcata tortoise. She'll come "running" if she sees you have treats (e.g. lettuce).

You can keep the puppy busy outside so she doesn't have to worry about "forgetting" and doing that inside (puppies are trouble).

You can fish off the dock or swim in the pool. At night, I can setup the projection screen and we can watch some old movie out back and roast marshmallows at the fire pit.

Or you can just hang out with me in my garage/office and lose endless amounts of time watching the 3D printer print something (as is tradition with 3D printing!).

Also have a rather large robot to play with and an awesome HTPC setup and wifi 7 with 2 gig Internet. Actually, forget all that other stuff; 2 gig Internet is living the dream! 🤣

Have you heard about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?

Why should I entertain you?

i'm gonna infect you with covid stay away

Board games.

You said 10 minutes. Give me back that 1 second.

I have a cat that refuses to shut up. Ask him anything, he will scream at you. He will only stop if you ask him about Israel. Sometimes.

Almost everyone in this thread is a terrible host, Jesus Christ.

Sorry, OP.

I'll be naked when you get here. I think I have a strip of bacon left and can make some more French Toast.

You can go clean some dishes?

You can watch me practice and fuck up the same riff for 3 hours straight if you want

You have a choice. We can watch Ninja Turtles, read Ninja Turtles, or play Ninja Turtles.

Coffee and conversation, like normal people?

We can play lego LOTR on my PC I have 2 controllers.

You’re gonna help me clean this place up for a bit, then we can chill afterwards. I don’t know what interests you, but I’m never bored at home so I think we’ll find something to do.

well im currently naked.

Gotchu Bro/Sister:

Wife's already got Fellowship of the Ring Extended (of COURSE) ultraHD in the player.

I'll pop us some popcorn, and gladly point out all the fun trivia, like how when Aragorn kicks the helmet in Two Towers it was so legit because the actor ACTUALLY BROKE HIS TOE.

Why did I mention Two Towers when Fellowship is in the player? Heh. . .you didn't think we were stopping after Fellowship, did you?

The doors are already locked and planned bathroom / snack retrieval breaks are posted on the wall.

Pshhh.. I kinda live in the middle of nowhere, so I dunno.. wanna go try to catch some grass snakes by the swamp?

Depends, probably I'm going to pretend to not be home and not answer my phone.

But if you're someone I like, I might force you to learn the rules to French Tarot and play that. Or another trick taking game like hearts or spades. Assuming my brother is also home and we have a 3rd player.

There's also always music, movies, tv shows, et cetera.

We could crochet.

If you're gay we could probably have sex. I'm normally down to clown.

We could play fetch with the dogs.

If all else fails you can play games on the Xbox while I read.

But really, if you're just showing the hell up with 10 minutes of warning you need to be the one with a plan here. Otherwise I'm probably going to just keep doing what I normally do and you can join in if you want.

I have an induction forge and an induction smelting crucible. That's literally endless entertainment, until my arms get tired.

Ask you to help carry my old stove out to the curb and see if you want to troubleshooot some wiring

I can cook you something fun while you steal the love of my animals and use my UV light to make my phosphorescent and flourescent minerals look fancy.

Laser pointer

You can have a cup of tea, I'll put on a Beethoven record, and then you can untangle and sort all the stuff in my big box full of old cables, chargers, components, and adapters. If you find a micro usb cable you can have a cookie.

I will leave you in suspense on if I will open the door.

Hope ya like weed

I'm going to work

But you can help yourself to my gaming PC.

I will play Van Halen's Jump on my synth for you