cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/43965177

An ex-DOGE staffer known as “Big Balls” could end up receiving the highest civilian honor in the United States, placing him in the company of luminaries such as Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Teresa.

Somehow the dumbest timeline just upped the ante

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[–] 174 points 1 year ago (13 children)

This timeline is so fucking stupid I have difficulty believing it sometimes

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  • [–] 62 points 1 year ago* (11 children)

    If we do live in a simulation, can I be taken out by a corrupt memory allocation, please?

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  • [–] 20 points 1 year ago (8 children)

    Earth.exe is causing excessive crashes, please save your work and restart.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    I'd like to load a backup save please

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Best we can do is unplug it.
    Then plug it back in again.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago

    Fascists were killed to fucking death 80 years ago. And I'll remind us all, the men who fought were around 20 then. The youngest would be 100 now.

    The Smoot-Hawley Act was 95 years ago, exacerbated the Great Depression. Not to mention the stock market greed and lack of government controls that started it. Today no one remembers what that kind of poverty was like in America.

    Everyone who remembers is dead. This is simply history, we do this again and again. Our turn!

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  • [–] 81 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    What a ridiculous country you have going on over there

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  • [–] 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Thanks, we all love it and want this to be happening.

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  • [–] 20 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Well if you don't drop everything and singlehandedly bring it all to a screeching halt i won't respect you and even if you try I'll find other reasons to criticize you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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  • [–] 47 points 1 year ago

    Release the Trump/Epstein files

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  • [–] 44 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    placing him in the company of luminaries such as Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Teresa

    One of these persons is not like the others...

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  • [–] 33 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    George Tenet got one for roping us into an illegal war in Iraq.

    The PMoF is meaningless.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (5 children)
  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    It has been for 20 years. At least.

    This is not unprecedented.

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  • [–] 18 points 1 year ago

    Calling it now; 3 middle-schoolers are gonna beat the shit out of him and steal the medal, and that's how the bill of rights will be repealed.

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  • [–] 17 points 1 year ago

    Imagine being the person who has to inscribe a medal of freedom to “big balls”

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Balls not so big if a gun is pointed in his stupid face.

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Yeah. We're armed to the fucking teeth and no one is challenging these fascists.

    MAGA neighbor came stomping down the street after I called him a fascist and his wife a fat fucking Nazi. Bring it.

    I calmly walked inside for my Colt .45, left the door and curtains open, awaited his arrival. He had the sense to turn the fuck around or his wife would be a widow and his daughter lacking a father. Stand your ground state!

    These people never get fucking challenged. Never. They're in their echo chamber thinking everyone is on the same page. Fuck with them. Put violence on the table, make it personal.

    I'm a middle-aged white guy, easy for me to say, I know. And that privilege is exactly why I push back. I can fight the fight for those less privileged. And yes, I've made my peace with dying if it comes to that. That is not a new thought to me.

    Ban in 3, 2, 1...

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  • [–] 15 points 1 year ago
    [–] 7 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Can I kick his ass too so he can get a second medal?

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Anything Epstein's best buddy hands out will be noted as a total farce and those receiving them should be ridiculed relentlessly. Cue South Park.

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  • Of course. These people would give literal Hitler the presidential medal of freedom if he were around to give it to. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they award him something posthumously

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago

    holy shit nobody cares. stop being caught off guard by low effort outrage sideshows. next one drops in 12 hours or so, can we grow up enough to handle it?

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    if someone were to shoot him will they give him a posthumous promotion? that would be cool

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    While I typically frown on violence, it'd be a just world if after receiving said medal, BB got his ass beat on a weekly basis.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    placing him in the company of luminaries such as Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Teresa.

    The medal's reputation has already been tarnished, then, might as well add him.

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  • 19 comments in c/news@lemmy.world view that post
    [–] 75 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    This is definitely a "Release the Epstein Client List" kind of post.

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  • [–] 39 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    At this point I'm starting to think it didn't even really happen.

    Like, I saw the pic, and it's a lot of blood, but not really any cuts or bruising. Especially with it being blamed on a "gang of teens" and being used to justify national guard and now this meddle?

    It's just too fucking convenient, but I also believe Big Balls is just one of those guys that ends up getting jumped a lot. I knew a guy in college like that, if he was on his own for five minutes he'd get "jumped for no reason" almost immediately.

    Dude just couldn't help but run his mouth

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  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    How do you think he got the nickname Big Balls? I bet he has a lot of bravado and it gets him way over his head, but “it took balls for him to do it!”

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    I bet the name is ironic and his insecurities lead him to get into fights all the time.

    I also bet that he routinely got kicked in the balls by the goth girl wearing steel toed boots... a regular occurance since the second grade through highschool.

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  • [–] 19 points 1 year ago*

    It hasn't meant anything since the dumpster fire gave one to Limbaugh during his first term.

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  • [–] 38 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

    I know I've mentioned how I hate this timeline, but it bears repeating.

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  • [+] 18 points 1 year ago (1 child)
  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago

    All I am saying is that Rosa Parks deserved a better award then.

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  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago

    The ultimate participation trophy! Won’t conservatives hate that though?

    My names Big Balls and I got my ass kicked by a 15 year old girl, and daddy trump gave me a medal!

    Such Ralph Wiggum energy

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago

    By some accounts, voters voted for Trump precisely because he is a vulgar crook: his election was a negation of Obama and Harris, and an affirmation of the white-supremacist idea that the lowest white man is above the best person who is not one.

    In this case, giving this 2-bit goon the award is the same in microcosm.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago

    Haha so funny and outrageous, what a clever and well thought out distraction. So anyway, about the Trump/Epstein files, when are those getting released?

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  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)
  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago

    Stolen valor

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  • 11 comments in c/nottheonion@lemmy.world view that post
    [–] 70 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    Okay - as of right now, I think there's much more to this story that we haven't been told and this is all damage control.

    Like it wasn't actually a carjacking at all, and instead, for instance, "Big Balls" tried to buy sex with one or the other or both of them, then when she/he/they not coincidentally refused, he went on a drunken racist tirade, so they kicked his ass.

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  • [–] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)
  • [–] 37 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    The more I think about it, the more confident I am that at least the basic outline is actually the truth - that "Big Balls" - entitled, sheltered 4channer that he undoubtedly is - got his ass kicked for being a racist dickhead and/or creepy pervert.

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  • [–] 23 points 1 year ago*

    He also stole all of our personal information as part of a technofacist mysoginist child rapist oligarch coup to install a corporate dictatorship for the foreseeable future. I bet he got his ass kicked for being a entitled little douche

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  • [–] 22 points 1 year ago

    I hereby award you the "Royal Order of the Bonespurs!"

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  • [–] 18 points 1 year ago
    [–] 14 points 1 year ago

    Sound right MAGAts are worthless.

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago

    Ladies and gentlemen, your 56th President....

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  • 7 comments in c/conservative@sh.itjust.works view that post
    [–] 9 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    I hope it says big balls on the medal

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  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    I hope it says "got ass whooped by two kids"

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Did you see the bloody pic in the article? 🥰

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago* (3 children)

    I would love to but there's a paywall

    Edit: found the pic elsewhere, what a little cunt lol

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