I had gone through a couple of bars before I realised it was ChocoLONELY.

Very good chocolate though.

Almond joy.

The people that like me really like me.

The people that don't think I'm fucking disgusting.

It's pretty good, but as time goes on there's less and less.

A carrot. That's not a candy bar, you might say? No. No it's not.

Butterfinger

Take 5

Marathon.

I said King Size Payday but my wife said Laffy Taffy! Hayo!

Milky way

100 Grand

(my fee as a prostitute)

Snickers… I’m sure god is laughing

Nutty Buddy

Oh, god I just hope nobody puts Kinder. 😳

Werther's Original

Whatchamacallit

Caramac

[ discontinued in 2023 ]

Imagination.

It's a candybar that doesn't exist.

Willy wonka :(

Sam Jackson's character in the move 'Long Kiss Goodnight':

The last time I got a blowjob, candy bars cost a nickle.

Snickers

Whatchamacallit

Now and Later

Snickers… listen, I’m not that bad in bed, come on!

Excellence.

Baby Ruth. Whomp whomp.

tepid water in a zip lock baggie on the floor is my chocolate bar. :(

Candy bars and sex reminds me of a comic, maybe it was Mad. Silly rabbit, Twix are for hookers.

Symphony