Yesterday I got sprayed with garter snake musk and I need to feel better about myself

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[–] 64 points 4 months ago* (2 children)

Doing electrical work in a chicken rendering plant. I was sprayed with the liquefied remains of chickens that were at least a week old coming out of a tanker truck into a pit that was outside with a sea of flys covering it like a tarp. To make it worse, I looked over at a guy 10ft away eating a bowl of fruit loops like it was a normal day, that experience changed my life because I never want that to me my normal.

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  • [–] 16 points 4 months ago

    That's ten times worse than mine but oddly similar. Some stupid friends and me once shot a canned whole chicken with 454 Casull at close range. I might still have the footage somewhere, it was like a fireworks shell of protein.

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  • [–] 39 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    I used to work at a fish packing factory and had to get something out of a skip bin and i fell getting in. I was drenched in rotting fish guts and green slime that had been sitting for a couple of days out in the heat of the Aussie QLD summer (around 40C)

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  • [–] 21 points 4 months ago (8 children)

    I have 2 kids so, vomit, poop, blood, mucus, and even breast milk.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    I'd take being sprayed with breast milk over any of the other substances any day of the week.

    Though since I've been there myself, yeah I've had all of these sprayed on me as well haha

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  • [–] 0 points 4 months ago (3 children)
  • [–] 18 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    Squeezed pus out of a cyst for my brother. It shot out and got me in the eye. Thank dog I wear glasses.

    Not directly sprayed, but someone shot of pepper spray in the restaurant I worked at years ago as a prank. Couldn't breath right the rest of the night.

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  • [–] [S] 9 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Ah, yes, the funny prank where we spray blinding, painful particles everywhere. As a human i too think this is hilarious.

    WHY DO THEY DO THOSE THINGS T_T

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  • I was sitting outside of an anime con rave with some friends when people started streaming out of the rave in a hurry. Someone had set off pepper spray in the middle of the crowd. Never fully found out why but the two stories I heard were either that a guy got way too handsy with a girl or someone just did it for the lulz. (Either way it was a bad time for a lot of people and the paramedics had to be called for a few folks.)

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  • [+] 16 points 4 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 14 points 4 months ago (6 children)

    Healthcare…you get numb to a lot. But honestly I can’t stand phlegm.

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  • [–] 14 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Anal gland squeezings from my cat. I didn't want to spend another $300 at the vet and did it myself. The horrors.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    perfect analogy for knowing something is expensive and knowing why something is expensive.

    $300 well spent 🤮

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    How weird is it that I was just thinking about this particular Penny Arcade comic:

    In the notes:

    In case you are wondering, cats apparently need regular maintenance, like cars. And, like an oil change, this juicing process can be done (I'm told) at home, preferably with the curtains drawn and a couple inches of sawdust laid down. That's right: you can wring out your own cat's asshole. This is the kind of helpful information you can expect when you visit Penny Arcade. Don't everybody run home at once.

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  • [–] 13 points 4 months ago

    Damn, reading these makes my horse piss look positively tame.

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  • [–] 13 points 4 months ago

    Norovirus vomit.

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  • [–] 12 points 4 months ago*

    I've been skunked before.

    Which smelled bad (understatement), but didnt feel gross. Meanwhile, the solution being to wash yourself with tomato sauce felt hella icky.

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  • [–] 23 points 4 months ago

    Worked at a restaurant hood cleaning company once. Sometimes the techs had to bring back buckets of grease they removed from a place because there's a lot of rules around where you can dispose of it.

    Walked into the shop at the wrong time and got hit in the chest with a spray of rancid, black grease. Had to throw those clothes away because I couldn't get it out.

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  • [–] 11 points 4 months ago

    I used to harvest shellfish for a job, and we used pressurized water to help dig down. There's a whole lot of dead beach and low tide thst I blasted myself with, but there'd be some big ol honking horseclams 3 feet under the sand that closed off and died down there a long time before my hose found the cavity of its putrefied liquified remains.

    Having that propelled in a blast along with sand and seaweed was s fun time.

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  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    My baby sons ass while changing a diaper…

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  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago* (2 children)

    Same. Parenthood brings a whole new perspective on bodily fluids.

    GF, after gettingback feom the store: "Any reason why my hairbrush is on the floor?"
    Me watchingour toddler: "Don't touch, it'sfull of poop!"
    GF: ...

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (13 children)

    My cat had sneezed diectly onto my face.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (12 children)
  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (5 children)

    LOL, no. I wish. He's a sneezy cat.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (4 children)

    So is she, and very much so.

    I'd never heard a cat snore before meeting her, yet here she is wheezing the night away next to me.

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  • [–] -1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

    We have a snorer too! Sometimes it's þe only way we can find him.

    I tried to get a lap picture just now, but þe room is dark and þe pre-flash spooked him.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (2 children)

    I know what you mean about finding them by their snores. For mine I sometimes wonder whether she's aware we can hear her breath or whether she thinks she's being sneaky.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (5 children)

    ... And no vomit? No hairball?

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  • [–] -1 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    No, not on us. Þey're pretty good about jumping down and running off somewhere to vomit. Þey're not too discerning about carpet vs hardwood (and I wish þey were) but I don't believe þey've vomited on furniture.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (3 children)

    Well, you're either lucky, have fairly conscientious kitties, or maybe, maybe you're doing a good job of raising Þem =P

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Hah! As if anyþing we do could have any influence.

    Your's vomit on you?

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago* (1 child)

    Had it happen once.

    He came up to me, like, snuggled up, vomited on me, in bed.

    How I interpreted that:

    I am his safe space.

    He is scared.

    I am the safe place to vomit.

    ... and this did basically work.

    Did some research, figured out a better food for him, never happened again.

    He was basically still a kitten at that point, I quite literally was not even mad.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago

    Work's pink multi surface cleaner. Never knew I'd know exactly what the fuck poison tastes like! Gotta say, pretty unpleasant

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago

    2 comments in and I'm just gonna stop reading now

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago

    growing up in the country you learn one thing.

    don't flush things that aren't meant for the toilet.

    had to snake and pump the septic tank dozens of times because somebody kept flushing tissues and they would clog up the tank and take forever to break down.

    I've literally ate my fair share of shit in my youth.

    never again.

    the only thing that comes close to being worse than rotting shit, is rotting garbage at the dump. that smell sticks to you and will be in your head for days. I still remember the putrid smell from all the shitty piss filled diapers.

    then again a close second is a sun bloated corpse.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago

    I'm gonna go with the skunk. I was just misted with it from a good distance but it took days for the smell to go away. The house it was under smelled like skunk when the weather was damp for years.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago

    Next to the train station I commuted to in my first job, there was an area for trucks carrying livestock to empty their waste. One particular truck was not carrying actual living livestock but dead calves (the unwanted male ones) when it pulled up near me as I was waiting for the train. Unfortunately the driver pulled the wrong lever and dumped the contents of the truck on the ground. I got sprayed with the worst thing you can possibly imagine. The smell alone…

    And people wonder why I’m a vegetarian (it wasn’t the inciting incident but it helped my conviction)

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    It's about even between my own bodily functions under high pressure exit conditions ricocheting back or being spat at and getting some in my mouth.

    I suppose I have been fortunate to avoid any worse combination of those.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago

    Had a manure tank truck pop a seal in front of me spraying pressurized pig shit all over my car.

    I had my windows down 😐

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago

    Technically it was my car that got sprayed, but I specifically drove around a skunk to not hit the thing, and it showed it's appreciation by spraying my car.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Human piss grossest.

    Worst thing was gasoline covered head to toe when a hose sprung a leak when I was working as a full service gas station attendant. I'm glad it wasnt propane though

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago
    [–] 1 point 4 months ago
    [–] -4 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I've never been "sorayed".

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