You're allowed anything on the planet

No there is no clever way to use this meal to escape your fate

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[–] 52 points 5 months ago (8 children)

Heart of Billionaire x (however many billionaires there currently are)

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  • [–] [S] 22 points 5 months ago (7 children)

    How would you like that prepared?

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  • [–] 29 points 5 months ago (6 children)

    I'd like it served as is, fresh from the chest cavity.

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  • [–] [S] 12 points 5 months ago (5 children)
  • [–] 19 points 5 months ago* (4 children)

    A second billionaire's heart

    edit: didn't read the first response all the way - let me at the liver first

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  • [–] 12 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    Considering how many drugs some of those billionaires do, I'd suggest skipping on the liver.

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  • [–] 31 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    1 cubic meter of pure gold, sliced into bite sized cubes, completely enclosed in a nice icing, and not that fondant stuff.

    Leftovers are to go to my family.

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  • [–] 26 points 5 months ago*

    A kilo of dried magic mushrooms and a fat bag of mdma. I'm going to be glowing with transcendental joy and tripping the light fantastic. Hopefully I'd get the chair, can you imagine how good electricity would feel in that state?

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  • [–] 24 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Jeff bezos roasted in a bronze bull with a pinch of lemon and some butter.

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  • [–] 20 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    Often, restrictions require a prisoner to choose foods that are available within the prison system or that cost less than a preset limit. Prisoners are usually denied requests that include alcohol or tobacco products.

    RIP to the commenters.

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  • [–] 17 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    And you can't be executed until you've finished all your spinach?

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  • [–] 16 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    I would probably want to smoke crack. Not like I can get hooked and ruin my life if I'm on death row already.

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  • [–] 15 points 5 months ago* (5 children)

    32 ounces of medium rare ribeye steak, bowl of spaghetti with alfredo sauce, 30 chicken wings (10 buffalo, 10 BBQ and 10 garlic butter), 750 of eagle rare 17 year bourbon, pint of peanut butter ice cream and a 2 liter of Dr. pepper.

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  • [–] 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    I'm curious about your preference for spaghetti with alfredo sauce. Why not fettuccine?

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  • [–] [S] 5 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Cheeky 30k bottle of booze in there, are you working on that through the meal or is that the grand finale?

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  • [–] 9 points 5 months ago*

    I edited because I realized I had the 17 year before not the 30. Did a quick google of the oldest eagle rare because thats what I thought I had. Turns out it was a 17. So the low low price of like 2 grand instead 😉. It'll be sipped throughout and then demolished when I'm ready.

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  • [–] 14 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    tbh I think Id be in no mood to actually eat anything, and trying to decide on anything in that circumstance sounds like itd just compound the anxiety , so given that itd be kind of a waste of food and wouldnt be of much comfort, Id probably just turn it down.

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  • [–] 12 points 5 months ago*

    Provided I have a little while to eat...

    A slice of bacon and cheddar quiche with real pie crust.
    Chorizo breakfast burrito.
    Pork green chili over fresh made tortillas and crunchy hash browns.
    Two slices of Oscar Meyer bologna on the cheapest white bread one can buy, with a small handful of plain lays potato chips.
    Peanut butter and half a cosmic crisp apple.
    A bag of ruffles potato chips with onion soup mix dip.
    A new York strip with garlic mashed potatoes and onion strings.
    A small sourdough bread bowl of western clam chowder.
    A bowl of ramen with garlic tonkatsu broth and two soy eggs.
    Carbonara with some garlic bread.
    Cobb salad with blue cheese dressing, no olives.
    Apple crumble with vanilla bean ice cream.
    An ice cold Dr pepper, an ice cold barqs root beer, a large glass of milk, and a few liters of southern sweet tea.

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  • [–] [S] 11 points 5 months ago*

    Honestly for me, I think I'd want a Berlin gemuse kebab, probably the Mustafa's one (mit käse of course) given I've got a lot of good memories attached to it.

    Serve it up with a nice citrusy IPA

    Probably finish with a tiramisu made by an Italian nonna

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  • [–] 10 points 5 months ago (5 children)

    Paradox: Request to eat the brain stem of the person who will deliver the killing blow / throw the switch / administer the injection / etc.

    If you are then killed by their replacement, then you weren't given what you asked for, contradicting rule 1. If you succeed, rule 2 has been contradicted.

    But seriously. It's hard to choose. There was this one pub I visited (with parent) as a child that made the most delicious, dare I say, succulent, miniature pasties. I think I'd like to gorge on those.

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  • [–] 4 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    The executioner plugs the electric chair into a timed wall outlet. In 30 minutes, you will die. You do get revenge on the executioner first though, so that's cool

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago (1 child)

    Maybe if they set the timer to go on and off at set intervals or made you eat the meal in the chair, which is unusual.

    Otherwise you could take your sweet time eating that brain stem and they'd be unable to put you in a live chair without risking anyone else.

    There's also the problem of what to do if there's a power outage.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago*

    Half an hour is plenty long enough to zom out on some brains, then get strapped into the chair. Even then, they can just set the timer for more time if they need it. If the power goes out, then good news! You get another serving of someone else's brains tomorrow

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    [–] 9 points 5 months ago (4 children)
  • [–] [S] 5 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    What's your ideal serving suggestion for that?

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  • [–] 14 points 5 months ago* (2 children)

    I don't want to eat it, I just want my execution to be hella expensive

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  • [–] 6 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Nah you should eat it, it'd turn you neon orange but you'll smell absolutely incredible.

    If you get the chair the scent of your cooking flesh would be boardering on divine, and not to mention being the best smelling corpse the morgue will ever take delivery of. Hell, the section of graveyard you end up in will probably smell like saffron for weeks after thry put you in the ground.

    Depending on how much you weight, that much saffron might even preserve you, like some kind of extra bougie mummy.

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  • [–] 9 points 5 months ago*

    The living face of Steven Miller.

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  • [–] 9 points 5 months ago (4 children)

    Badly prepared pufferfish. Checkmate

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    Are you really escaping the fate there? Just pulling the appointment up really

    I'm fairly sure most pufferfish are safe to eat too, I guess if it's particularly badly prepared, it might give you salmonella

    Not sure I'd go for that, but it's your meal

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  • [–] 8 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    Poorly prepared pufferfish (aka: fugu) would probably kill you. The pufferfish skin contains a toxin that, when expertly prepared, will make your tongue tingle a bit. When poorly prepared will really make your tongue tingle and will probably stop your heart shortly after that.

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 5 months ago

    Had to double check my original assertion, but I was more or less on the money

    Fugu is a Japanese delicacy, specifically tiger pufferfish which has that neurotoxin, prepared by an expert to have the toxin safely removed.

    Most other pufferfish have no toxin to be worried about regardless of how poorly it's prepared

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  • [–] 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)
    • ten pounds of laxative chocolate
    • enough acid and molly to set my brain on fire
    • ipecac capsule as a petit four that can be taken on my way to the execution chamber

    I'm going the same way I came. covered in shit, vomiting, and screaming to go back.

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  • [–] 8 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    After seeing all the memes about how many calories are in uranium, that would be fun to try.

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  • [–] 8 points 5 months ago

    Diet Pepsi and Mentos. Cabbage and baking soda.

    I want my dead body to explode and spread foul smelling shit all over the place.

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  • [–] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

    Just a ton of bacon, egg, potato, and cheese breakfast burritos with some good salsa, a pile of churros, and 100 cans of Juicy IPA.

    Edit: Hell, with the state of things right now, give me a guarantee that I would get that as my final meal and I’ll do a crime that’ll get me there.

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  • [–] 7 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    Anything on the planet you say?

    Well I wanna eat the entire planet...

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  • [–] 7 points 5 months ago (4 children)

    Root beer float, mozzarella sticks, an Arby's beef n' cheddar, and a medium pizza from my favorite local place with the little grease-cup pepperonis, mushrooms, and 12 tabs of acid.

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    Nice, to be clear, is the acid included in the pizza topping list or separate?

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  • [–] 6 points 5 months ago

    Nothing fancy- Corned beef hash, eggs over easy, with swiss cheese melted on top and a nice cup of black coffee.

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  • [–] 6 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    No there is no clever way to use this meal to escape your fate

    Give me a ricin ball. I'll still die, but it will be on MY terms.

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  • Two double cheeseburgers from MacDonald’s.

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  • [–] 6 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    Monkey brains.

    I'm going to die, fuck it. I'm going to try something I've never eaten.

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  • [–] 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    A slice of pizza, a piece of Carnegie Deli cheesecake, and a small saucer of fentanyl.

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Any particular pizza?

    Is the fent right after the cheesecake or are you giving yourself a bit of digestion time first?

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago

    I don't know, anything good, the food is too hard to pick. I love NY style, I love Chicago style, I love Detroit style, I love Neapolitan. It's all magical.

    I mostly just want the fentanyl to go out in peace/quickly.

    ...I'm hoping that's how it works. I don't actually know, but I figure a full saucer should do the trick, surely.

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  • [–] 10 points 5 months ago

    I want what they are having at the Palais de l’Élysée (the French presidential house).

    A huge table of the best of French food made by awesome chefs, from starters to desserts.

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  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    Pan pizza and wheat beer. Maybe I can't escape my fate, but I can make it... quite messy for the executioners.

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  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago

    My mom's cooking.

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  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago

    2kg of the Korean fried chicken with the spiciest chilli sauce on the planet. A case of beer to wash it all down.

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  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago

    Anything on the planet? That's great, let's eradicate some diseases. Give me literally every single deadly virus that's out there in the world right now. With a side of all of the leukemia present in the world to buy everyone some time. Give me my meal in an incinerator, lets go.

    I'd also like a whopper or something.

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  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago

    Chicken fried rice, lots of it.

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  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago

    Big Mac and a glass of Chateau Lafite Rothschild 2099.

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  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago

    Corpse Reviver No. 2 That will be all, thanks.

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  • [–] 4 points 5 months ago

    Anything with an overdose of any good drug. If I'm dying I'm dying with a bang.

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  • [–] 4 points 5 months ago

    2 chicken parmas with hot chips, 1 litre of pisto, a bubble o'bill and a few caps of mdma YEEEEEWWWWW!

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  • [–] 4 points 5 months ago

    Panda tenderloin and a side of uranium. I'm curious of the flavor of both

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