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[–] 74 points 7 months ago (17 children)

I dunno... You can be straight and still consider someone of the same sex attractive, just not so attractive that you'd want to sleep with them.

I'm ace and I find both Tom Ellis and Jenna Coleman attractive, but that doesn't mean I want to sleep with them, or anyone really.

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  • [–] 20 points 7 months ago (5 children)

    Stupid question time: Does the fact that you're ace omit the gay/straight spectrum entirely, or would you still place yourself on it somewhere?

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  • [–] 12 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    Some aces have a position on the gay/straight spectrum.

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  • [–] 25 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Aesthetic attraction vs Sexual attraction.

    You can find someone visually appealing without also finding them sexually appealing.

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago

    The two are not mutually exclusive.

    Sexual attractiveness also doesn’t mean sexual drive. One doesn’t need to be gay to understand that a man is sexually attractive in the way they find compelling. A desire to look good is all it takes.

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  • [–] 9 points 7 months ago (6 children)

    What does "ace" mean in this context?

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  • [–] 18 points 7 months ago (5 children)

    Asexual, meaning they experience little to no sexual attraction.

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago (4 children)

    So, if no one experiences sexual attraction to me, what does that make me? Anti-sexual? Axes, maybe?

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  • [–] 24 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    I used to say things like, "I'm straight but" whatever. This was about 30 years ago, and I just didn't know what to do with the idea of gay men, so I would occasionally say things to virtue signal that I was okay with it.

    But it turns out that I was just overcompensating and dealing with a bit of "main character" complex. I really didn't need to say or do anything overt to be accepting of gay people.

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  • [–] 15 points 7 months ago

    Inversely, there's "I'm bi, but..." To point out shit that can just be platonic that people keep trying to romanticize.

    Like, why can't I complement a friend on their good fashion sense without people assuming there's some attraction there? It's bullshit

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  • I've only ever felt the need to say "I'm not gay" in situations where I thought I might be subject to negative consequences (like violence or getting fired) for being gay, or in situations where I was interested in women and didn't want to be mistaken for being gay. It's a combination of cowardice and loserdom.

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  • [–] 20 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale

    The scale doesn't translate nicely to common speech.

    I like "non zero"

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago (2 children)

    Scale seems like an oversimplification too, idk what's the difference between a three and a four?

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago*

    No preference vs preference. Then 5/1 is strong preference. 1 is where a lot of the "I'm straight but" turn out to be.

    And yeah it's a simplification, but Kinsey was a pioneer of sexology that tried to nonjudgementally figure out the actual lived experiences of people's sexual orientation, and with that is going to come oversimplification

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago

    a person that's hetreonormative going for some gay relationships depending on the person or situation, with people that are presenting broadly more close to the way a person opposite their gender is, contrasting to a person that feels they are part of the LGBT+ community that also cultivates straight relationships if the person they are going for a relationship with if they are presenting broadly more close to their own gender.

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  • [–] 19 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    I'm 100% straight but, Ryan Gosling can big spoon me and I would be okay with that.

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  • [–] 6 points 7 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 18 points 7 months ago (5 children)

    You know, I think Depeche Mode is a really sweet band!

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    I wish I could upvoye you more

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  • [–] 18 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Seems like some of u have hard time differentiating

    • that person is good looking (regardless of gender)
    • I want to be friends with that person
    • I want to sleep with that person
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  • [–] 36 points 7 months ago (10 children)

    I told a female friend of mine that Lou Diamond Philips was a handsome guy, and she said I have the worst taste in men's looks. That moment sometimes makes me question what an attractive guy is suppose to look like. Then I remember her boyfriend was a short, fat slob.

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  • [–] 11 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    If she was thinking of him without facial hair, I'm with her. If she was thinking of him with facial hair and still not liking it, I'm with you. You'll have to ask and clarify for us next time you see her. The internet (me) needs to know if your friend has bad taste or not.

    None

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  • [–] -1 points 7 months ago (5 children)
  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago (4 children)
  • [–] -2 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    They referred to men as men and women as females.

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  • [–] 19 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    No, they used female as an adjective when describing their friend. I agree it's unpleasant when people talk about "females" but that's not what happened here.

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  • [–] 11 points 7 months ago

    In my mind, I acknowledge that i only ever wanted to have sex with women. But i would be an idiot to make being straight part of my identity because if I would ever meet a man that I could and would love, I would just have made it more difficult for me to accept that and there is zero gain in identifying as straight. I don't think we need to identify our sexuality, we just need to be willing to accept ourselves and go with the flow.

    Saying "I am 100% straight!" Seems to be a good way to have an identity crisis when you find someone attractive that doesn't make you feel straight enough to accept it.

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  • [–] 9 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    I think guys should be able to compliment and appreciate each other without assuming they’re closeted.

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  • [–] 6 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    I'm straight, but I appreciate a good looking dude.

    In college we had a very nice looking dude that was part of the guy group. He single handedly increased the group's good looks and we were able to talk to more girls at parties.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Saying β€œI’m 100% straight but” sounds more like you’re afraid of what others might think about you as a person based on wether or not they approve of your sexuality.

    In which case my condolences, and grow some spine.

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    I'm married to a beautiful woman that I love but...

    ...I'm not like, one hundred percent straight.

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago

    Maybe we could just open up the field? Like you're with Dulce but will suck Brian when you're in the dog house. Or maybe Brian and you can play with Dulce and Jessica?

    No judgment from my part.

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    The beige background made me think it was AI at first glance.

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

    Post with credits or not at all.

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago

    Hunh... Moustache but no beard? That look always suggest to me that they're more into boys than men.

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