[–] 2 points 1 month ago (1 child)

What works is planning. Plan what you'd do, if the situation were to arise again. Once you have a plan, your mind will stop bugging you. Works for me!

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  • [–] 8 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    Pissing with shy bladder protip: Do some multiplication tables in your head. What's 7x6? 8x6? 4x12?

    Takes up enough concentration that it easily starts to flow. Made this trick up years back and it has never failed me.

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    Pros: Still does everything I want it to. Has great battery life still. Pretty accurate for a wrist measure, when measuring heart rate. Also has built in GPS, and even Garmin Pay although I never got it to work. Screen is perfectly visible in sunlight

    Cons: Proprietary charger. I've had to switch the watch band 2 times.

     

    I sold my S&P 500 ETF's back in 2016 after the election. I honestly thought the US economy was no longer a good long-term investment (I guess here 10 years later I was objectively wrong), but mostly because I didn't like the direction the country was heading. Most people here saw his first term as a kind of satirical buffonery, kind of like a circus animal, that papers covered the same way you'd cover a kooky reality TV show. Everyone would kind of tune in (Or try to tune out), to find out what he'd do next.

    I don't know if I fully realized it at the time, but clearly he was surrounded by "handlers" during that first term, a few buffers here and there to prevent the ship from going completely off the rails. I remember many said at the time, coming up on Biden's election, that we'd finally have an adult back in the white house and everything would go back to normal. This, I didn't believe. To me, Trump is a symptom more than the disease itself, which lies with a subset of people (Not only americans I might add), who have a very particular view of the world.

    There are many Trumps out there, and we see people like him come to power in many places. I'm reminded of Europe a hundred years ago, where people struggled. Nations with huge debts, political leaders who seemed to accomplish nothing, and pointless in-fighting between congressional members while the real people - workers - struggled with inflation, fear, and economic and cultural divide. It seems like a certain political environment starts brewing in these circumstances: People look back to how great they used to be.

    And Germany, for instance, was an absolute powerhouse during the 17-1800's, completely dominating all culture, science, and military in Europe. Even today we talk of Bach and Beethoven, we read Nietzsche and Kant, and so on. It's not particularly odd that Germany wanted to return to such a time after the shadow of the first war, and practically felt cheated out of it since Hegel had all but promised that it was Germany's time on the global stage. "Make Germany Great Again".

    And in Italy the sentiment mirrored it, as were true across the world, where select people found themselves sympathizing with the same sentiments. It is not a uniquely German, Italian, or American phenomenon - it seems to be rooted in the psychological makeup of human beings. When we struggle, and when times are hard, we become desperate. Political opinions drift toward these extremes, because the more desperate you are, the more change you want. And few people are more desperate than the young, already ideologically inclined, who walk the streets unable to find jobs due to economy, while forced to take care of family.

    They start to rightly observe that their votes don't seem to make much of a difference, that no matter what political message they send - nothing seems to change. The elite seems to laugh at them from tall buildings, regarding them as lazy, poor, and unintelligent. And therefore their votes and views grows more extreme, as the only people who seem to hear them, are the types who are mostly demagogues. I think all people who vote for demagogues have one thing in common: They are completely disillusioned with the existing system, and want someone to throw a wrench in it. It is no coincidence that Trump's grassroots campaign picked up momentum on 4chan.

    I'm not a conservative myself. But when I read Edmund Burke's critique of the french revolution, I think he has a point in his critique of revolutions. Not only are governing bodies organically evolved and difficult to artificially devise in a power vacuum, when they are toppled everything also becomes extremely unpredictable. You may topple the tyrant king, but soon you have an even worse evil conqueror on your hands, because the underlying forces establishing the hierarchy are still in place.

    I suppose the more marginalized, pressured, and disfranchised you are - the more absurd a reformist position is. "Do we really hope to change this heap of shit from the inside? Slowly? Are you kidding?". But whatever is needed, does need to come at least somewhat organically because the underlying forces are still there. So if Trump is the symptom, then what is the disease?

     

    As a kid and teenager in the 80's and 90's, my brother and friends used to play dungeons and dragons (Mostly adnd 2e, and my forever dm brothers homebrew rules). I got back into it again as an adult a good 35 years later, and everything sure has changed.

    I originally got introduced to this kind of world when my cousin got Heroes Quest for Christmas. I remember how we would huddle around that board all that Christmas day. It kind of evolved into D&D rules, good old attributes Roll Style, 3d6 for each stat, no rerolls, and you'd better play what you get. We had this one friend who would always roll his character at home, and for some odd reason his main stat and constitution would always be 18.

    I remember when I got my hands on the monstrous manual. Reading the pages, glossing over the pictures, it was magical. I used to walk to school imagining scenarios with lawful good silver dragons, and whatever campaign setting my brother had cooked up. He'd make up stories walking to school during the freezing cold winter, how the glimmers on the ice pavement were actually armies of hobgoblins, and being the naive kids we were the best wizard of the party was named Merlin and the thief was called Bilbo. This was a time before the internet, before mass media, we had three channels on our TV and to us it was pretty much all we knew.

    It was impossible to talk to others about this world. We'd play through the evenings exactly like the kids in Stranger Things, huddled over a table in the basement, in an autocamper at night, sometimes only in candlelight because we didn't want our parents to know how long we were up for. We'd draw our own maps, repurpose painted Warhammer figurines, and our campaign setting built its own lore and cast of characters through the years. Occasionally normal people would come in, ask "Who's winning?", to the point that it became an in-joke to us explaining how it was not a game you could win.

    Like most others around the table I was an awkward kid. I couldn't relate to the kids at school, I was bullied because I was a nerd, so I sure as hell couldn't talk to anyone about it. It felt like we were actually the only people in the world who had this interest. I think this is one of the defining differences between DND now, and back in the day. You truly felt like you were completely alone, that no one knew about it, and no one really understood. 5 years ago I got an autism diagnosis, I've been able to mask my autism really well. I think DND taught me that. The ability to roleplay, have a sandbox for different ways of expressing myself, having a friend group where obsessing over arcane rules and trying out different personalities for fun was encouraged and loved.

    Today I've become a part of a DND group in my city. It's fittingly still in a basement. The people are largely the same, tolerant, welcoming, nerdy, and passionate. But the younger ones don't really hide it like we used to. The fact that I can go online, and find millions of posts and videos is still a bit surreal. The rules have changed, there are more classes, more settings, but the people are by and large the same. Same wonderful oddballs I used to roll dice with in the basement, as I listened to the DM's descriptions while fiddling with the wax in our burning candles. It feels like coming home.

     

    Feel free to answer this question as well. I think it is relevant for all who have masked for a lifetime. Don't rush the question though. Take your time.

    I have exiled my silly sense of humor, because it was odd and out there, and I didn't think it conformed with neurotypical society. I would like to invite that back.

    I have exiled singing songs that didn't make sense, correcting people's spelling mistakes for fun, and my tears when I was touched because those aren't appropriate for a boy much less a man.

     

    I am a large (2XL) male that would like to dress better. But every time I find classy clothes that make me look more professional it's just a sensory nightmare. Rough fabrics, too tight in places, hard for the skin to breathe in, etc.

    I need something other than baggy black t-shirts and soft jeans.

    Have you men found classy clothes that make you look professional but is still comfortable to wear?

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