I don’t care if it’s real, I lol’d.

sarcastically "Wow. So proud of you, and such a big boy going potty all on your own!"

Don't worry, she was just as proud as you were, that was a really big Shit.

10/10

Ship toilets work with a suction system and it is possible that it was momentarily down for maintenance and be turned back on to explain this occurrence.

I was staying at hostel in Switzerland. I clogged the toilet. I went to the front desk for help. The desk person followed me to the bathroom, took a look, said "It's too big," chuckled, and then just went back to the desk. I ended up doodie knifing it with a wire hanger.

a cruise ship? she's used to that.