Yeah, see, my girlfriend just right out told me. But we're both AuADHD. So you know, things happen impulsively and directly.

I asked her on a date, she said yes. We get to the date we have fun, we have a long night out, she goes home and texts me "I like you."

Yep. Which is a good thing too because I liked her and was a lot nervous about that.

Even if we're explicitly told the first twenty times we'll just think she's being nice.

To a degree that once a woman chatted me up, gave me her number and I somehow still missed it entirely.

Quadruple the caution if it's a coworker. Hello HR violation.

It’s always good to play it safe unless evidence is so overwhelming that she’s into you. This has cost me some romantic opportunities but has also kept me from being the guy who dates all his female friends.

Thanks for lining it out so well.

There's a good shot that she's into me, but if she's not, I'll either die of embarrassment or I'll get bullied by their whole social circle.

Add to this that men usually are not as socially comfortable as women, and you kinda understand it why this happens.

She's Canadian.

https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw

Pascal's Wager but for pussy

One rejection in college had me pegged as a creep to the point many of my own friends stopped talking to me. All I did was ask someone to get some tea once but I guess I didn't do the mating dance right or something idk.

Was a pretty powerful lesson in seeing how people will believe what they want to believe. I guess it's the same for many of the "creeps" and "sluts" out there.

after being rejected 100 times in a row for "ew gross i don't associate disabled people" when after a couple dates i let them see me take a blood pressure pill (hadn't even let them see any of my massive collection of scars except my arm and face, which i can't exactly hide without michael jacksoning) you kind of just start making fairly accurate assumptions about the women in your society

Well, don't leave us bros hanging! What did she mean?

What did she meant?!

A girl in college told me she liked me when we were in high school, took me like two days to realize what she meant...

I told a girl who told me she likes me that she is bluffing... 🤦‍♂️

Yeah she played a stupid game and won the customary prize

Yeah communication is key. Even if you are too literal at least you are clear and not obscuring your thoughts.

Yeah, I think she likes me.

Mmmm, can't be so sure. Better play it safe and look for more signs

I think a lot of people need to learn to communicate more explicitly. There's also the ask culture vs guess culture dynamic, though I think it can extend past culture and some people lean one way or the other. There's also the idea that guess culture is feminine coded in America and ask culture is masculine coded.

To a guess culture, outright stating your desires is imposing. You hint and if they're willing to give it they offer. Furthermore saying no to a direct request is also seen as rude. In general directness is bad, preemptive offering is proper (and obviously they have to reject for fear of imposing), and hinting is acceptable. Think stereotypes of English culture. It's a stupid social dance that I instinctively fall into. To an ask culture all that's stupid, there's nothing wrong with asking for something and it's not problem to say no. It's direct and blunt. Think stereotypes of American culture.

It's generally quite good to be able to navigate and accommodate both, but as a guesser, asking is better as a default, especially in relationships. It's awkward and difficult to learn, but it takes all the guesswork and ambiguity out.

Nah I don't trust it, she was just being nice cuz it's her job

I used to own a retail shop, and I had one young woman assistant who had a sixth sense about those things. I'd wait on a customer, and after they left, my assistant would say"Wow, she really had the hots for you," and I'd always be like WTF are you talking about?

Your buddies girl was the one flirting with you.

It is unclear whether my wife liked me, but she does make it clear when she does not. Kinda like a cat.

In the sense of "...if she likes me still" or "... if she ever liked me"?

The bear thing scared a lot of decent guys off.

edit: And just to be clear, should anyone think i'm alpha male-ing. If every woman out there is scared to death of the average guy, who am I to further that? I have a wife, I have kids, I simply do not start conversations with women because when that chose the bear thing happened, not one woman I know didn't resonate with that. Who am I to try to push past that?

What most women don't get is that men like assertive women.

Some men don't. Just like some women don't like assertive men.

People generally, like other assertive people who are clear about what they want. I don't have any issue with a woman giving me a clear rejection. But I really hate the fake 'rejections' they give me most of the time that leave the door open or the bullshit double-standard where they reject me and then expect me to 'try harder' to win them over because 'men need to chase me'. or whatever horse pucky they believe.

You've obviously never been married

No, like, a merchant at the bazar will typically charge higher prices when a customer is specially interested.

The issue many women face is that they fear they get a worse deal if they show too much interest.

I think the best solution might be a liberalization of the market, i.e. ending monogamy.

Maybe she's Canadian?