Are you a chihuahua?

See also “hypocrites”

"Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over."

--Emo Phillips

It's an interesting take, at least, given the quasi-religious nature of support for sports teams. Maybe they're just not happy about the dip in church attendance that resulted from the NFL playing games in London (which broadcast at 10 AM EST).

Hahahaha. No.

And a money lover.

It's weird that I've never heard "Hinduist" before even though "Hinduism" is obviously very common.

^ least mocking jesus mocker

Slang term for a kid.

cough

Playing both sides

Well, yes, but he doesn't kill the baby until AFTER they're born!

Kill the baby before they're born? Oh the horror!!!

Let the baby be born? Fuck you kid! Welcome to the real world!

And then hope about 12 years later the baby doesn't get invited to the island by some wealthy fuck.

You know, I get the feeling that this guy is not a nice person at all and just hates everyone. What, uh, what do you guys think?

I don't want liars to judge me...

This might be dumb but I dont even know what ankle biters is supposed to mean. Is that a slur?

"God" isn't real. There's no such thing.

It's just an imaginary friend made up by lunatics to express themselves and try to control others.

Dykes on Bikes vs Chix with Dix on the mainstage at this year's Battle of the Bands!

I learned more about LGBT+ from a bible thumping homophobe I met at school than from anyone else.

I didn't know the rainbow thing until he saw a blanket in my house with a rainbow pattern. Just about caused mental break. He was convinced we were a secret big gay household or something.

He went on to become one the types of people in OP. The ones who stand on the street screaming into a megaphone about God and the gays and stuff. He went on trips to America to attend some sort of giant Christian evangelical things.

Don't worry, you're covered, everyone's a hypocrite, even this guy

Especially this guy

Dykes are ok if they're not on bikes

Iirc that's an actual, real biker gang. And iirc, they're cool as shit.

Pot Smoking Devils of Average Height also in the clear. Clear case of anti short prejudice

In Sweden they have a band called "That Christian Look". Except they are not Christian. Why, they are not Christian in the slightest!

I call dibs on "Jesus Mockers".

I wouldn't call that being a money lover. Someone who wants to raise the minimum wage is probably more likely to want to abolish money as a construct entirely.

For context, those being, if I recall correctly, in no particular order, as they're both the co-greatest commandments:

a) Love God (that is, what created everything, so you might as well interprete it as loving the universe)

b) Love thy neighbour

essentially just a form of the golden ... rule

I don't think I've ever met a Christian who lived even remotely by the commandments. That's why they have that crazy-ass clause that you can repent and accept Jesus on your deathbed and go to heaven. They are all fake; most of the actual differences are in intent.

Poor dudes catching strays out here fr