Despite my one moment of sheer misandry, which I apologize for...I love you guys ❤️

I probably can't offer much in the way of comfort...

NSFW, TMI...I mean, all I can offer is my body, and I doubt you'd want that :P...

...but I really, truly, honestly appreciate all of you guys. Really 💜

Without men, my life would be pretty boring and honestly pointless. And I don't just mean for sexual reasons...

NSFW, TMI...well, the sexual reasons are a big and important part of it too, ngl, but they're not the only reason.

I see and appreciate you. You matter 🩷
To me. To your families. To everyone here ❤️

This isn't much comfort, but if any of you guys needs someone to talk to, my Matrix account is:
@horny_miisha:chat.blahaj.zone
Feel free to reach out!

You're not alone. You're never alone. I love you guys 💜

top 99 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 106 points 10 hours ago (5 children)

Hard to be depressed when we are absolutely dominating the leaderboard for these stats. Oorah fellas! 💪

  • source
  • hideshow 5 child comments
  • [–] 47 points 8 hours ago (5 children)
  • [–] 12 points 5 hours ago* (4 children)

    Famously, the first major legal win for feminism was a man getting custody of his child.

    Its sad that so many men have swallowed the propaganda that feminism is somehow hurting them.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 9 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

    Patriarchy absolutely hurts men as well and I don't want to take away from your comment. I fully support it. And I fully support men revolting against the patriarchy and living how they want to live without the pressure to conform.

    The first major legal win for feminism was about a mother being granted custody because before 1839, fathers were automatically granted custody of their children.

    The Custody of Infants Act of 1839 is often seen as the first feminist legislative victory in a long campaign to reform English marriage laws (Shanley 17, Chase and Levenson 40). While legal scholars have noted instances when a father’s total control over his legitimate children had been limited by judicial rulings prior to 1839 (Abramowicz 1345), the 1839 Act stands as the first major reform to recognize the rights of mothers. The important role played by Caroline Norton in the passage of the Act is also key to recognizing the law as a feminist triumph (Shanley 17).

    Prior to the 1839 Custody of Infants Act, a father had a right to his legitimate children and was automatically granted custody if he and his wife separated for any reason (Bailey 393). Most fathers granted custody or access to the children’s mothers because it was considered ungentlemanly to deny mothers the opportunity to be with their children. Judges could also require a father to grant access or custody to the mother in circumstances in which the children’s welfare would be in jeopardy if they were left with their father. (Bailey 394)

    Source

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 3 hours ago (1 child)

    My mistake, I was thinking of RBG in Weinberger v. Wiesenfeld

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 3 points 3 hours ago

    That is a perfect example of the patriarchy hurting men. Assuming men are the sole and primary earners in the family can lead to discriminatory decisions like this:

    Stephen Wiesenfeld and Paula Polatschek were married in 1970. Polatschek had worked as a teacher for the five years prior to their marriage and continued teaching after they were married. Her salary was the principle source of the couple’s income, and social security contributions were regularly deducted from her salary. In 1972, Polatschek died in childbirth, which left Wiesenfeld with the care of their newborn son. Wiesenfeld applied for social security benefits for himself and his son, and was told that his son could receive them but that he could not. Social Security Act provides benefits based on the earnings of a deceased husband and father that are available to both the children and the widow. The benefits for a deceased wife and mother, however, are only available to the children.

    In 1973, Wiesenfeld sued on behalf of himself and similarly situated widowers. He claimed that the relevant section of the Social Security Act unfairly discriminated on the basis of sex and sought summary judgment. A three-judge panel of the district court granted Wiesenfeld’s motion for summary judgment

    Thanks for bringing it up!!

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 1 point 3 hours ago

    Just like how the men’s rights movement has absolutely dogshit people, the feminist movements also have some who see the movement in a selfish supremacist manner.

    This is why I call myself a humanist or egalitarian, I want it to be clear I see neither sex nor gender as superior, and everyone is deserving of dignity, rights, and respect.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 41 points 10 hours ago (2 children)


    Here here, a cookie for lovely men. Do love and be loved.

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 27 points 9 hours ago (4 children)

    Thank you for your kindness 🙏🙏 on average, men go their entire lives without a single compliment and are expected to silently carry burdens and never show a moment of sensitivity or “weakness”.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] [S] 11 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

    No problem at all 🫂

    I get it and I hate that that's how the world is. I suffered because of it once too, and I still remember. It's the worst, honestly...

    I hope you have a nice day. Good luck with everything 🩷

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 8 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

    Very kind of you 🙏🫂 hope you and your partner have a nice Monday too! 🙌

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 45 points 10 hours ago

    Thank you for posting about this. This both helps men and helps women by alleviating some of the "BuT wHeN iS mEnS day" chuds.

    Last year's 19th November was shit. I hope Lemmy can give us a better men's day this year.

  • source
  • [–] 21 points 4 hours ago

    The patriarchy is the enemy of men and women alike.

  • source
  • [–] 18 points 9 hours ago (20 children)

    I wonder what it means that no nut november and mens mental health awareness month are the same month

    Like is that a good thing or bad thing

  • source
  • hideshow 20 child comments
  • [–] 55 points 9 hours ago (12 children)

    No Nut November echoes practices of celibacy, shame of masturbation, and control over others sex lives that religious types love to use to keep their congregation guilty and seeking to be absolved through the church for very normal human urges.

    Personally, I think it’s a bad thing to shame anyone for masturbating or framing masturbation as something that is dirty or addictive like it’s a drug or something. I’m sure it doesn’t help men’s mental health to do so.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 12 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 6 hours ago (3 children)

    My roommate and I did NNN in August. He has been struggling for a long time with severe porn addiction and really wanted to feel some power over it, so I suggested he take a month off cold turkey and I'd join him in solidarity. It was fun. There really doesn't need to be any shame. To me it's just an amusing exercise in observing and controlling my instincts.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

    I was referring more to the drive behind the movement. I'm glad that taking a break worked well for you both!

    Just a side note (and not a judgy one, just a note) - you don't need to use porn to masturbate. Taking a break from porn doesn't necessarily mean you have to stop masturbating! It is healthy to masturbate, particularly for your prostate :)

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 8 hours ago (4 children)

    Maturation is a treat. You can have too much, but a little is OK.

    No nut November should help everyone remember to slow down on the junk food every now and then.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 15 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

    No, masturbation is not a reward or treat. It's normal.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 1 point 4 hours ago (2 children)

    OK well I hear you but the "gooning" crowd and chronically online masturbaters are being unhealthy, im not being a prude. You guys are reacting to traditional values and im just saying there is such a thing as too much. If you are spending more than 30 minutes a day looking at porn that is probably a problem.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 33 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

    NNN neds to fucking die. That shit breeds right-wing incel behavior. No shame in blowing your wads, gents. Enjoy yourselves!

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 8 hours ago (1 child)

    It also used to be No Fap February, now it's been moved and it's overshadowing movember.

    Though I guess the difference is that in NNN you can't nut at all whereas fap just meant masturbation

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 3 points 6 hours ago

    At first, NNN is optional, more a personal challenge some do pick or not, also source of memes and more hornyposts. All optional, if someone is into that.

    • You no like I'm not doing NNN? oh what You gonna do? HA

    Mental health, for everyone is a human right, not so optional (at least should be).

    • You no like some wanna have healthy mind? You think they should get sick and downed all the time? wtf?

    Nothing to compare here.

    If some want to abuse, will use not going NNN for 365, will call someone weakling for crying, a sinner for not going church, for being disabled, for being born in this or other country or having this or that eye colour. NNN is just excuse to abuse. Ugly and sad.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 14 points 6 hours ago (1 child)

    Thank you for this post Miisha.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 14 points 8 hours ago (1 child)

    Yeah I’m feeling a bit of depression hit me. To the point that I was this close to turning to an AI “best friend” yesterday. Instead, I just replied on some friends groups and went to sleep.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] [S] 8 points 8 hours ago

    Oof, yeah I get that. It seems like such a good solution too. LLMs always seem so kind, knowledgeable and ready to help...but ime, it makes things much worse in the long run. I'm glad you didn't 🫂

    And I'm glad you have those friend groups. I hope they treat you well 💜

    Feel free to reach out anytime, if you'd like. I'm on Matrix. Be well 🩷

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] [S] 37 points 11 hours ago (10 children)

    You can call this "pretentious concern", you can call me mean and two-faced, I don't care...I care about men. And even though I've said some horrible stuff, I love and care about them.

    So please, reach out. I won't judge you, no matter what ❤️

  • source
  • hideshow 10 child comments
  • [–] 11 points 10 hours ago* (8 children)

    What horrible stuff have you said about men?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 8 child comments
  • [–] [S] 19 points 10 hours ago (7 children)

    Eh...I was having a massive fight with my boyfriend and I was really pissed. I said something along the lines of "I hate all men, I'm never getting together with a man again"

    I think I blamed the way he was on him being a man...which was fucking stupid of me tbh and it's bullshit, cause yes, I am indeed getting together with another man if I ever end up single. Duh 😂 /s

    I regret it. It was wrong. It was just misandry. It was stupid...

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 7 child comments
  • [–] 33 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

    As a representative from the Men's Delegation, I think it's completely forgiven if:

    1. It was private

    2. You didn't mean it

    3. You apologized

    4. He knew it was a sincere apology

    We all make mistakes. If you have hate for men in your heart, that's different.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] [S] 14 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

    Omg! Men's Delegation, I'm honored! 😭

    1. Private, well...we fought in private. Just the comment I made was made on Lemmy. The post where it was is now deleted tho
    2. I didn't. I say stuff I really don't mean when I get emotional. I don't get upset very often, but when I do...welp :P
      And of course I didn't mean it! Everyone around here knows I freaking love men, honest! 🩷
    3. I did. To him and to all the men here. And I'll do it again, if you need me to.
    4. Of course. I kinda...proved it...to him. In an NSFW way :P
      I wanted to make sure he got it, I wanted to make it sincere! Don't judge me 😭

    Thank you. It was a mistake. I certainly do not have hate for men in my heart, lol. Thank you 💜

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 9 points 9 hours ago* (1 child)
    1. ❓
    2. ✔️
    3. ✔️
    4. In all fairness lots of people have sex with people they hate based on their immutable characteristics, but I'm willing to take that he knew via other means on faith, so: ✔️

    I guess in a perfect world you'd want to edit your hateful comment to express it was said in anger and you apologize, but as you imply it might be impossible to find it, let alone find everyone who read it. I'm a bit confused as to how/why your private fight with your partner spilled onto Lemmy, but I guess that's none of my business other than the tut-tut for the public expression of hate.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] [S] 7 points 9 hours ago

    I basically only frequent Lemmy out of all social media and I like it a lot here. I feel like I can express each and every thought freely, which is both a good and bad thing.

    So when something like that was going on in my life, I went to the only place I know.

    And yeah, we've fully made up now. It's been a while, too. We're totally good! Thank you 🩷

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 13 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

    This is not a big deal. We all get hyperbolic in upset moments. It only matters how you resolve it and live going forward.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 6 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 child)

    I think it's a medium deal. I've never gone on a racist/sexist/etc. rant out of anger in my life.

    Then you have people like Cosmo Kramer or Roseanne Barr who have a moment of rage that inspires presents as bigotry and "totally didn't mean it" when they apologize profusely.

    I'm sure some people forgive them, but I don't.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 3 points 5 hours ago

    It's good to have stuff like this out there. There's a lot of us vs them type of stuff online. As a man, I can confirm that my feelings aren't considered a lot and I just deal with it because that's what is expected. It's good to hear "you matter" even if it's just a general post on the internet.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 12 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

    Get help before you go nuts november?

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 11 points 7 hours ago (1 child)

    Having laid in bed for the last 48 hours I think this is directed at me today

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 10 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (3 children)

    I got over my depression and trauma and live mostly happily now with friends and family around me.

    There were times when I were prepared to end it all.

    I'm glad I didn't because the fight in the end was worth it and I wish that everyone gets to see the light at end of the tunnel like I did.

    Never stop fighting, giving up is not an option.

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 10 points 6 hours ago (4 children)

    turning 29 imminently... after a lifetime of depression and suicidal ideation, I had multiple life altering tragedies within the same week at age 25. i decided then that if i made it to 30 and still maintained no hope whatsoever for my future and the world's future, it was time to go. I don't want to die but life is so miserable. It's like being on fire.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 9 points 5 hours ago (1 child)

    I was going to do it at 10,000 days of life, had a bullet with that date scratched on it. That day came and went. I have found no new meaning to life, but am still here.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 9 points 4 hours ago

    For all the men reading these comments. My heart goes out to you that are suffering. I'm glad you are still here with us.

  • source
  • [–] 9 points 10 hours ago
    [–] 8 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

    "75% of suicides are men. Men are 3 times more likely to die from suicide than women"

    From this we can conclude that the population of men and women are equal to 2 sig figs.

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 7 points 7 hours ago (1 child)

    I think the intended presentation is the percentage of attempted suicides, followed by the rate of successful suicides. I'm not familiar with the underlying statistics, though, so I can't confirm.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 3 points 5 hours ago

    Tragically, men are statistically more successful at finishing the job than others. It’s heartbreaking. At least with a failed attempt, there’s a chance at living. We have failed men in a lot of ways and mental health support is one of them. Especially our vets.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 8 points 3 hours ago* (4 children)

    I'm just going to share this here, and it's entirely anecdotal.

    I'll put it behind a drop down so read it of your own volition.

    spoiler

    Somehow despite being quite the introvert I have somehow managed to encounter numerous men who have been horrifically abused by the women in their life, myself included. For example one young lad who regularly slept with his own mother, a grandmother who did wildly inappropriate things with her grandkids (hiding candy in her clothing...)

    I lived with emotional abuse from my mother, and a creepy cougar teacher who was far to interested in a younger me.

    Later in life, I had a small group of friends and out of the 4 of them, all 4 had been out right sexually assaulted.

    One guy was roofied at a club by a wannabe dominatrix who didn't understand BDSM, woke up in her bed chained up.

    Another woke up to an older female cousin raping him while he was sleeping on a couch.

    Then there was the guy who worked in bars, hen parties were a nightmare and plenty of women would get handsy and see nothing wrong with it.

    There's more but I don't remember right now, and I don't want to dig it out.


    So in summary.. why am I mentioning this here?

    It's not to bash anyone, but rather to suggest that just like many guys are told to watch their brothers for abusive behaviour we should encourage women to be aware of the kind of abuse that other women can dish out and intervene if possible.

    Also, if you do try to engage with a guy about his emotional state, do consider that it is extremely common for men to have in the past opened up to a partner only to have it weaponised against him thus making him hyper vigilant about doing so again.

  • source
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] [S] 4 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

    Oh dear god...
    I'm so sorry you went through that. Honestly that's terrible and it's something nobody deserves to go through. I'm so sorry 🫂

    I hope you're doing at least a bit better. I have my own (serious) issues and I'm trying to get a therapist in the hopes of treating those...

    Again, I'm so sorry you went through that. That's honestly brutal. Even if this is naive...I sincerely hope we can both get over our traumas. Sorry I can't offer much support 💙

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 2 hours ago (1 child)

    Heya!

    Well yeah.. at the end of the day we're all human :)

    I'm doing somewhat better, my life is... weird. But compared to the difficulties some people live with, I'm content enough.

    But I also do recognise that in many ways, I'm pretty broken. But, we keep going, try and find joy where we can :)

    There's a lot more I could say, I have some views that would probably be considered... weird as I was raised by a 2nd generation English feminist. But I also kind of don't want to side track the thread :)

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 1 point 34 minutes ago

    The catholic Church in France alone has sexually abused at least 200000 children between 1950 and 2020. that is 1% of the population. In the context of catholic abuse it's mostly males so it is safe to assume that around 2% of the male french population was sexually abused as a child by the catholic Church.

    The notion that sexual abuse is only a women's problem is pretty much a myth.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 8 points 5 hours ago

    He isn't lonely or addicted to drugs He doesn't owe his mother's money to thugs He's not an alcoholic, he isn't depressed And he's gonna break a lot of hearts when he hangs himself

    Rubberbandits - Sonny

  • source
  • [–] 7 points 2 hours ago (3 children)

    Fuck I didn't expect to tear up browsing Lemmy for memes but here we are

  • source
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] [S] 3 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

    This may sound weird, but I'm glad ❤️
    Pre-HRT, I just couldn't cry. It was impossible. And crying is really important. So I'm really glad for that 🩷

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 2 points 2 hours ago (1 child)

    I have always had the opposite problem. Severe depression will do that to you and it can be embarrassing

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] [S] 2 points 1 hour ago

    Wow...
    Well, I think it shouldn't be embarrassing. Crying is good and natural and it feels good! And nobody should be embarrassed for that!
    I'm...glad you can cry? If that's not too weird to say?
    I'm sorry for your depression. It's really a bitch 🫂️

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 6 points 4 hours ago (1 child)

    Happy to see this, honestly. I feel this doesn't get discussed enough! It's also just hard talking about difficult things if you've never done it when you're young, even if you know you can talk about them now

    Sorry for making a complete U-turn but what's the cropped off text if I may ask? I'm just really, very curious

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] [S] 3 points 4 hours ago

    Yes. This does not get talked about nearly enough. And it's a real shame, with the real and terrible real-world consequences that has...

    Sorry for making a complete U-turn but what’s the cropped off text if I may ask?

    Honestly no clue, so sorry 😭
    I don't have the OG, cause I'm just a dumbass like that. So, yeah. Sorry :P

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 5 points 4 hours ago

    Thank you💛

  • source
  • [–] 5 points 1 hour ago

    That apostrophe is gonna make me commit suicide.

  • source
  • [–] 4 points 7 hours ago (1 child)
  • [–] 4 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

    I appreciate this a lot. Thank you Miisha!

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 3 hours ago (1 child)

    This is also partially due to men choosing more violent methods that are harder to revoke. To slightly oversimplify, women tend to OD, men tend to chose guns, and if you OD with pills you usually have a few minutes at least to call for help that you don't get with a gun.

    So, just remember that part of gun safety and responsible ownership is a) storing the gun unloaded, b) having a trusted friend that you can give the gun to in the event of a mental health crisis, c) knowing your own signs and symptoms that indicate that plan needs to be activated.

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • load more comments
    view more: next ›