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[–] 63 points 2 weeks ago

I thought this was a joke, but here it is. This is actually from the bible.

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  • [–] 55 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

    Here's another fun one, from
    Awkward Moments (Not Found In Your Average) Children's Bible - Vol. 2: Don't blame us - it's in the Bible!

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  • [–] 10 points 2 weeks ago

    What I read was two woman saying, "There are no other men around and we're useless unless we make babies." Guess it's both? 🤷🏼

    31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”

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  • [–] 44 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

    The same David that later sent a man to die in battle so he could steal his wife?

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  • [–] 31 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

    It's cool. He was really sorry for it after he was called out.

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  • [–] 38 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

    And God punished David by...

    Checks bible

    Having his 10 wives raped. Hmm. Really showed him.

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  • [–] 41 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

    What a lovely children's story.

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  • [–] 35 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)
  • [–] 29 points 2 weeks ago (15 children)

    Rationalism it was: instead of bothering with heads they proved the number with foreskins. Much lighter and safer to store for longer time.

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  • [–] 58 points 2 weeks ago (10 children)

    I think the reasoning is that since Jews lacked foreskins but their neighbors the philistines had them, bringing the foreskins showed that it was not Jews you went out to kill. It's like if you wanted someone to kill 100 rattler snakes and as proof you bring 100 rattlers as that's their distinctive body part.

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  • [–] 15 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

    So we actually have found some logic in Bible? Unexpected...

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  • [–] 15 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

    I mean, the "logic" that led to the Israelites not having foreskin to begin with isn't exactly rock solid.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

    yeah but how else are you going to give hepatitis to a baby?

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  • [–] 6 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
  • [–] 15 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

    Historically, heads weren’t all that common. Usually only for specific bounties where you’d need to show it was the right person.

    For more general things, scalps, ears, and fingers were all far more common.

    I mean think about it. It’s gruesome enough on its own. But, fondling dead guy dick is… especially unpleasant. (And they probably stank.)

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  • [–] 21 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

    So was this kinda like pork rinds back then?

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  • [–] 66 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

    It seems relevant to point out that the "Philistines" were Palestinians

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  • [–] 49 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

    In terms of region and name, sure, but probably not in terms of distinct ethnicity and culture. Philistia was most likely a mix of Greek immigrants and Canaanites, but they got totally absorbed by the Babylonian empire -- there's no direct cultural inheritance.

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  • [–] 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

    Fair point, but I think it's a relevant historical mirror. Israeli government references the fight against these Palestinians constantly, in the context of genociding the current day ones.

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  • [–] 14 points 2 weeks ago

    Israeli government references the fight against these Palestinians constantly

    I didn't know this! I feel my context makes that even more absurd; even if a historical feud justified their actions in the slightest, which it obviously doesn't, it's not even the same cultural or ethnic group.

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  • [–] 19 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 child)

    And that they are a semitic people as well, so killing them would be anti semitic

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  • [+] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (1 child)
  • [–] 4 points 2 weeks ago

    Imagine being an ancient Greek and thinking "Oh look at this lovely coastline. It's so peaceful and fertile. I will bring my family out here to start a vineyard and an olive grove, and we shall thrive for generations to come!"

    Less than two generations later, he's forced to watch as his sons and grandsons are slewn for their foreskins, his daughters and granddaughters carted away in chains to be made concubines, and then finally being slewn himself for his own foreskin...

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  • [–] 13 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

    There are limits to what people will do to help their friends get laid. We haven't found them yet, though...

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  • [–] 11 points 2 weeks ago

    King was probably like "Holy shit he actually did it. I'd better give him my daughter before he cuts my dick off".

    In all seriousness, there is some fucked shit in the Bible.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 weeks ago (14 children)

    I have to know what book this is…

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  • [–] 17 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

    I believe it's called "The Bible"

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  • [–] 8 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

    In France they call it Le Bible

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  • [–] 13 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

    heads up, OP tried to reply to you but replied to the wrong comment

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  • [–] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

    Sometimes I leave it, if the comment is general enough that maybe people won't notice. Or I'll edit the comment to make more sense.

    The fun ones is when I comment on the wrong post, like I click the post above or below and make my comment.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
  • [–] 11 points 2 weeks ago

    The Old Testament is a treasure trove of such things

    Times were WILD

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  • [–] 8 points 2 weeks ago

    Well that’s fucked up

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  • [–] 22 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

    Did David even think about THE SMELL!?

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  • [–] 4 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
  • [–] 9 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

    A bag of dickskins is gonna stink...

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  • [–] 7 points 2 weeks ago

    The Philistines on the battlefield watch as David goes about his work with great enthusiasm.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

    100 extra foreskins? That's quite the tip!

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  • [–] 3 points 2 weeks ago

    The kind of biblical story which should never have been illustrated.

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  • He didn't even haggle.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 weeks ago