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[–] 245 points 3 weeks ago (16 children)
  • [–] 83 points 3 weeks ago (15 children)

    Seriously, there's still potential there.

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  • [–] 70 points 3 weeks ago (13 children)

    Uhhh potential that OP will realize he just made some friends? Or....?

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  • [–] 73 points 3 weeks ago (12 children)

    There's potential for friendship, but I have long hair and have since high-school. I hung out with girls and let them braid my hair and even put make up on me. Still got tons of tail at that time.

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  • [–] 71 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)

    It's almost like being a nice decent person gets you laid a lot.

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  • [–] 21 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

    This is it. Just hang out, relax, and have fun. Be a good dude and you will get laid. It helps that I grew up with sisters and hung out with them a lot.

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  • [–] -1 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

    Where I live is pretty much the opposite unfortunately.

    Most girls here love criminals because they're supposedly cooler and "more manly" and they have lots of (badly earned) money, and are also constantly red-eyed because of drugs.

    I'd love to live where you live 😫

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  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    Also, I will say it always helps to work out and have social hobbies. Try to go out and do things with people and eventually you will meet someone.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    Thanks for the advice!

    The thing is, I really can't work out, I don't have a proper space in my house and I'm just too poor to pay a gym, and also suffer from minor respiratory problems (my nose tends to be very stuffy, and apparently I have rhinitis or something similar); I'd love to, anyway, because also I can feel the pain of the lack of exercise. I'm trying to just go to walk regularly so I at least maintain a minimum of physical activity.

    Also, social hobbies... Are though for me. I suffer from social anxiety and I'm heavily introverted too. There are some ones I'd love to try, like anime conventions or electronic music sets, but where I live they're rare because most people here looks at them with bad eyes.

    Ahhh, I hate this place.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    There are excersizes that you can still do in a limited space. Check some of these out:

    https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/how-to-work-out-in-small-spaces-the-no-space-workout/

    https://www.muscleandfitness.com/workouts/workout-tips/6-space-saving-exercises-do-when-gym-packed/

    The main point about social hobbies is just pushing yourself to go out where people are and doing things with people. I don't know what to tell you because I don't know where you live, but I'm sure there's something you can do to get out and meet people.

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  • [–] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Just be a decent human being, nice and caring, and you'll see, those "bad boy lovers" will disappear from your dreams!

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  • It's not like I'm not like that, or at least I try to be decent, nice and caring. I'm just literally describing what I see everywhere in here. Although I know that's mostly in part because here has been a culture of drug traffickers and criminal gangs since like 15 years ago or so, so I know it's probably not their fault but that they simply grew up with those models of behavior around them.

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  • [–] 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    This rocks. Good on you, and good on you for inspiring others with your story.

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  • [–] 10 points 3 weeks ago

    It was nothing new for me. I grew up with 2 sisters that were very close to my age so I was already letting them decorate my face and hair long before I got into high-school. Still though, it's a good message to anyone at that age. Don't take yourself or your "masculine pride" too seriously and just have fun.

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  • [–] 86 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

    I'm a straightish 6' dude built like a plumber but the lesbians in my DnD group declared me an honorary lesbian.

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  • [–] 13 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    All you had to say was plumber. Pretty sure plumber - bigot = honorary lesbian

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  • [–] 63 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Sounds like Anon doesn't appreciate the fact that he's part of an inclusive friend group.

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  • [–] 58 points 3 weeks ago

    fake: op talks to girls

    gay: op is one of the girls

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  • [–] 42 points 3 weeks ago (13 children)

    Fake: Anon has friends

    Gay: Anon is presumably built like a twink

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  • [–] 9 points 3 weeks ago (12 children)

    Or has egg vibes, and has been preemptively adopted by her soon-to-be girl gang.

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  • [–] 6 points 3 weeks ago (11 children)
  • [–] 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 child)

    Basically, someone who hasn't quite realized they're not entirely cis yet. "I thought everyone had dreams of being a boy/girl." "I don't get all that upset when I'm mistaken for a guy/girl on the phone." "I don't really feel comfortable hanging out with other guys/girls. It feels boring."

    Stuff like that. Other trans people can (usually) spot an egg a mile away. But like everything else in queerness, it's never cut-and-dry, black-and-white, easily defined. They could always just be comfortable enough in their birth-assigned gender to not give a shit, and that's valid.

    It's considered rude to assign this trait to someone you know personally, and the topic is only broached if the person in question chooses to be vulnerable and ask you specific questions about gender. Otherwise, they are (as always) your friend first, and treating them with care and respect always comes first.

    The typical protocol when one of your friends says or does something a little 'eggy' is to quietly notice it, treat it neutrally and passively, and not say anything for or against it. Let them figure things out on their own. If they are trans, they know they can ask you things. If they aren't, then they're just happy and comfortable being themself around you. In either case, it's not a bad thing.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)
  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

    Is sperm gender also a term that's used? Or only egg?

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  • [–] 7 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    No.

    Its a trans femme meme of "when am egg cracks a chick emrges".

    Or so the legends I saw.

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  • [–] 36 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

    *Tell us what really happens when a group of girls hang out together. Is it true they do cliche things like: rituals, eat, fart and poo??

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  • [–] 8 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    Just watch out for when they start lezzing out

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  • [–] 35 points 3 weeks ago* (10 children)

    When I was in middle school we had a pull-up test in gym. First all the boys did theirs, then they had to leave and the girls did theirs. Nobody minded me staying because I couldn't do one just like most of the girls.

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  • [+] -12 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)

    I kind of giggled at this, not trying to put you down. I did like around 20-30 and I was like maybe I should stop. -_- I had a military style workout routine every day, not by choice. I don't like to brag but just vent out the daily torture routine. I think it's funny that the One Punch Man workout routine is, heh, like nothing.

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  • [–] 15 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

    I don’t like to brag

    Hey now, no need to lie. If you had said it while appearing more honest, something like "I wanna brag, because I have put so much effort into this", you might have gotten a better response. Now it just sounds like, you are bragging, and also a liar.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

    With all the experiences I've had in my life, some of them I wish I was lying about. I could have written I did 50 normal push ups, 50 knuckle pushups, 50 finger pushups, 25 one had push ups for each hand. I mean I could go on with the details of the routine. That would be bragging. All I was trying to get across was that it sucked. My friends were playing outside and there I was working out. I felt that it took away from my childhood. It's not a brag to say that doing that shit everyday with gym in school, martial arts and track when all I wanted to do was play world of warcraft. To a certain extent, I want to stay anonymous with my posts, you don't have to believe me.

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  • [–] 6 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

    Yeah, no, I did not mean to imply you did not do all that, that is a communication failure on my part. Just pointing out, that your wording about not bragging, made your message read as something else, than what you likely meant. Unintentionally failing at communication is a big issue online, and I often try to point out, where the miscommunication happened, so that can be avoided in the future. That does not save me too, from failing from time to time, though.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

    No hard feelings, I just try to convey things as best as I can and it's a infinite learning process. That's why I like it here at lemmy, it's a place I can write about things I can't bring myself to say in person. And I get that it's a bit selfish.

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  • [–] 4 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    I like lemmy too, since I can have interactions like this, where there is communication failure, but we can figure it out. Keep writing, it is not selfish! There are always people like me, who enjoy reading the comments :)

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  • [–] 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    "There are always people like me, who enjoy reading the comments"

    I like that, even if you disagree or point out my flaws; it's all good. It's why I left reddit. It's refreshing to have someone point out things instead of just downboating you. I'll admit, if you read through my comments, the first thought is--you're full of shit, it doesn't surprise me. I like to write here, like a diary, of my experiences in life because the older I get the more I realize how abnormal my life was--is.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    It’s refreshing to have someone point out things instead of just downboating you.

    This is essentially, why I try to do it. I think there would be a lot less miscommunication, and overall better discussion athmosphere, if people just stopped to say, "hey, you sound like [this], maybe you did not mean it", instead of just downvoting - or worse, starting to hurl insults around. Nobody learns a thing, if there is no good feedback given. I know this sometimes just pisses people off, but I think it is still worth to try. Sometimes I get discussions like this one, afterall!

    And I think I understand, what you mean with the difficulty, of conveying an unordinary life. I like to keep things more private here, but every time I explain the downward spiral of unfortunate things, and new and new chronic illnesses, my life has been so far, to someone, it sounds like a bad sitcom...

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  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago

    It sounds like you've had your fair share of struggles. Happy to have you here. I like a good chat and I don't take personally. And besides my writing style has been a bit of a mess, I know other languages and still am studying others--it's like a hobby at this point. I'm kind of interested in reading about your life with the last statement.

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  • [–] 32 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    I'm a 6'6'' man, but I dream of being a 4'7'' femboy.

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  • [–] 64 points 3 weeks ago* (1 child)

    Fake: OP is >6ft tall. Gay: OP turned into a les(trans)bian.

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  • [–] 25 points 3 weeks ago

    Ah the great 4chan anon paradox.

    Fake: OP didn’t get invited anywhere, because he posts on 4chan.

    Gay: If OP did get invited to “girl’s night”, it’s because he is gay, but that didn’t happen because this is fake (see item 1 above.)

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  • [–] 25 points 3 weeks ago (12 children)

    I had a scenario like this when I was couch surfing while going to college. So there I am in a attic room surrounded by 5? girls and I thought to myself wtf am I doing here. I just came here to do my laundry, my friends girlfriend said it was okay and I could take showers there as well. In hindsight, I realized I'm an idiot. She showed me her room as well. I totally missed the subtle messages; she was very intelligent, she explained her school project about the function of ATP (Adenosine triphosphate). But hey I was a brain dead skateboarder then lol

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  • [–] 16 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    Idk, sounds to me like they feel comfortable around you.

    I have a few close female friends, one I even usually share a bed with on trips. I asked her why it's like this once and it boiled down to "you don't expect anything from me".

    I do have a partner and usually hang out mostly with women, so maybe I'm just not attractive, who knows

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  • [–] 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    I mean looking back, I don't disagree. One of the girls would help me with random stuff. Another always wanted to take photos together and put them online, I said no thank you to that. I think that people have different interpretations of attraction. In a way I found being taught about ATP very attractive but I wasn't going to interject myself between her and my friend. So you probably have an attractiveness beyond a physical appearance.

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  • [–] 19 points 3 weeks ago* (4 children)

    I don’t know if you’re the idiot you think you are. You didn’t do anything, which rationalised the trust and why they let you in that circle in the first place. That’s a pretty decent level of trust very few men get to.

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  • [–] 9 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    I would say I'm oblivious at the least. Working in retail I made quite a few female friends, understandably my girlfriend at the time didn't like that even though I was trying to find friends for her to hang out with after moving to a new place since I could just talk to my friend group on teamspeak and I didn't want her to feel lonely. I learned the hard way they liked me basically.

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  • [–] 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    And they had reason to, you’ve shown it again

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  • [–] 4 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    I don't understand I'm a braindead biker

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  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    I had turned into a biker at one point. It was about an eight mile ride to get this shot. Probably one of my favorite, and probably because riding all the way up there.

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  • [–] 130 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    Maybe because OP is the first man they meet that doesn't treat women like sex objects

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  • [–] 20 points 3 weeks ago

    Dont fuck it up, OP (narrator: he did.)

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  • [–] 35 points 3 weeks ago* (1 child)

    Hey now dudes over 6 feet can be femboys too. Don't let your height limit your possibilities, king (?queen).

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  • [–] 16 points 3 weeks ago

    Wife's friends always requested that she bring me along even though none of the other husbands/partners were coming. When she'd ask why they would just tell her "he's fun". I assume, "without being a tiresome asshole" was the unmentioned part.

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  • [–] 24 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)
  • [–] 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    I joined a book club on discord, and ended up playing games and watching stuff as well. I am the only guy that shows up to most of it.

    But this has also always been how it is. I sat with the girls during lunch years ago when I was in grade school. Most of my mothers family was women, so when I got dragged off to spend time with them for the weekend it was just like that. Joined a frat in college, but ended up spending more time with the sorority girls.

    It just be like that.

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  • [–] 41 points 3 weeks ago (11 children)

    Being one of the girls > being one of the guys

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  • [–] 9 points 3 weeks ago (10 children)

    as an nb ambassador in the gender demilitarized zone it's really crazy to me that people choose either/or

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  • [–] 6 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)

    It's something that other people chose for you, you don't pick it yourself

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  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

    it's something you pick through your own behavior.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

    That's kinda like saying you can pick your own nickname through behavior. Like, yeah, you're probably never gonna get called big tuna if you never touch the stuff at the office, but not really

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  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    That's exactly how someone would get called Big Tuna. It's like a huge guy named Tony Tiny

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  • [–] 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    I don't think I've ever heard of an ironic nickname applied to something that someone is totally neutral about. Maybe if they make a big deal about hating tuna? But that wasn't what I described

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  • [–] 1 point 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Or maybe they used to work for a cat food cannery idk how some nicknames happen

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  • [–] 1 point 3 weeks ago

    Well then all your coworkers do, to, so they're probably not gonna call you that, and it would be unusual between spouses and other friends but I guess not impossible? That's kinda the thing about nicknames, you don't really have much control over it, it's really subject to the whims of other people

    In fact, getting a nickname at all is never a sure thing, just like being one of the girls or the guys

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  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    Not like that at all. I want to hang out with men and women so I make friends with men and women. I invite them to stuff and they invite me to stuff. Sometimes I go to hang out and it winds up being mostly or all men. Sometimes mostly or all women. It really doesn't matter and the only thing that really makes the difference one way or the other is who is available at the time.

    Avoid people who view their gender as an enclave cause they are for sure misogynist, misandrist, or both. Make yourself open to people who are more gender-agnostic if that term I just made up makes any sense.

    It is a choice. You get to choose your friends. It's not RNG.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Most of that is not especially relevant. Being one of the girls or one of the guys has nothing to do with gender as an enclave or misandry or whatever. Clicking with any group of people isn't even guaranteed and you can absolutely hang out with a diverse mix of people and be considered one of either or one of both. But it's up to the group and the group dynamics, not you.

    Being annoying and pedantic is a pretty good way of never getting picked as either, though.

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